“An Odyssey of Affection”- Chapter 1

Happy Friday, Friends!  Oh, the twists and turns our lives take when we least expect it. I am so happy to say that I am finally at a point where my newest novel is almost complete. Just a little polishing and editing, and it will grace your kindles mid-summer.

“Odysseus and Polyphemus” by Arnold Bocklin

The title of this book, “An Odyssey of Affection” is reflective of so much in my life the last four years since I released a book. As we all know, life itself is a journey, and you wake up one morning and are surprised to see where it has taken you. Although I never landed on Cyclops’s (Polyphemus) island, I have still felt struggle and uncertainty but have overcome them to ‘land at home’ or my safe haven of Darcy and Lizzy.

Pride and Prejudice, like all things Jane Austen, feeds my soul.  Sometimes I need to satiate that hunger with the masterpiece itself. Other times, I need just a nibble and will read a short novella written in homage to her masterpiece. Other times, I need a sweet treat with lots of laughter and swoony glances.  I hope that my little offering will satisfy some hunger that you have for our great lady and her gift to the world, because writing it filled that need for me.

*This chapter has been posted here before (a few years ago) but has undergone edits.

An Odyssey of Affection

Chapter 1

~July 1811~

It had happened. What he had worked his entire life to avoid had occurred, and there was no way to remedy the situation. He had failed.

Fitzwilliam Darcy signaled for the bar maid to bring him another drink as he relaxed into the darkness of the corner licking his wounds. True, his younger sister Georgiana had not been entirely ruined, but it was enough that George Wickham had made it into his world once again to wreak havoc on those he loved.

And now because of his neglect, for he alone was truly to blame, his dear Georgie was heartbroken in the upstairs room of this miserable excuse for an inn on the way back to London.

I know I should go sit with her, but I cannot. Because of me, her life was almost lost to that rake!

He swallowed the liquid and relished the burn to his throat, feeling that any suffering was deserved. He should have exposed him years ago at Cambridge for his licentious behavior. He should have pressed his beloved father to see Wickham for what he truly was. But, he hadn’t and now it almost cost him his most precious treasure.

Aware of the passing of time, he looked at his watch and nodded while dropping a few coins on the table and made his way up the stairs towards his quarters. He had no desire to face what was awaiting him alone and was grateful his cousin Cassandra Fitzwilliam had joined him in his carriage for the journey to Ramsgate for a holiday with an acquaintance.

Her help was invaluable today! Without her, Georgiana and I would be in desperate measures.

He quietly knocked at his sister’s door, only to have his cousin open it. She signaled for him to follow her down the hallway to his room.

“How is she?” Darcy asked, sitting down and leaning forward with his hands resting on his legs.

Cassandra Fitzwilliam, the only daughter of the Earl of Matlock shook her head. “She is not well, Darcy. He truly made her believe he loved her. She was devastated when she overheard your conversation about her dowry. That his love was only worth thirty thousand pounds. She was inconsolable.”

“Blast that man, and everything he has ever done to ruin my life and those I love!” Darcy stood and began to pace. “What now? I wish to take her to Pemberley…”

“I think that is a sound plan. She will be safe there.”

“And away from the hens of the ton.”

“Yes, that too. Have you heard from Richard?”

“No,” he said, raking his hand through his hair. “Your brother has not responded to the express. I am not sure he has even received it yet, but I am certain he will find us on our way to London.” Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, second son to the Earl of Matlock, was Darcy’s cousin and truest friend. “What was my father thinking upon his death five years ago to entrust my young sister to Richard and me? How are two bachelors to raise a girl not yet sixteen?” His question hung in the air before he sat in a chair by the window. “I will deposit you back at Matlock house. What will you tell your mother about your altered plans?”

Cassandra tilted her head and thought for a moment. “That I realized I was not in the mood to spend time at the sea, the weather was not to my liking, and I feared I would find my friends dull.”

“You would lie so easily to Aunt Ellen?”

She smirked. “Do you think this is the first time?”

He shook his head. “Your brother often says it is a good thing he and I are the guardians of Georgiana and not you. I now understand why.”

A low chuckle met his statement. “Never mind that. You, my cousin, do not appear to be ready for bed. The sun has not quite set, but I will retire to be with Georgiana. I know you like to keep your own counsel, but do you wish to tell me the particulars? How you came upon them?”

“No.”

“Darcy, you must discuss it with someone.”  His jaw clenched, and he looked away from her. “Very well. Hold your breath if you wish, just as you did when we were children, but it will not help in the end. Now…you must go clear your mind. No more whiskey.”

“I am not foxed!”

She openly laughed at him. “No, you are not. Not yet, but could be on the path to that state. Go outside and walk around the courtyard. Better yet, there was an abandoned abbey a short distance down the road with a lovely wilderness. You cousin, have always needed nature to put you to rights. Whether it was riding Ulysses or just rambling through the woods of Pemberley. Now, do as I say. You will feel better.”

Darcy harrumphed in exasperation and grabbed his hat. “Heaven help Frederick Medford for becoming betrothed to you. You have the spirit of Richard and the looks of your mother. I know not of which lured him in like a Siren.” He clasped her hand and squeezed it before retreating out the door and down the stairs in desperate need of more solitude.

XXXXX

The trip from Dover had not commenced as Elizabeth had hoped. With the horse throwing a shoe and her young cousins becoming ill in the carriage, Mr. Gardiner determined Canterbury was a fine location to rest for the night. He had recognized his niece’s need to ramble after their circumstances and had permitted her to wander to the relics of the abbey directly across from their lodgings.

“Mind you do not dally too long, Lizzy. Dusk is upon us.”

“Yes, Uncle. I will pay heed to the light and will be back directly.”

She had grabbed a shawl from the carriage and headed across the road towards the broken structure dismissing the maid who had followed her.

“Please see to my aunt and the children. I will not be long.”

“Yes, Miss.”

And finally… she was alone. The sound of the dwindling daytime surrounded her as she ambled through the green and around the gatehouse towards the abandoned courtyard. Frogs croaked in a nearby stream, and the trees rustled in the breeze, enveloping her in a calmness she had not felt the previous month. Peace. She loved her young cousins dearly, but after their time in Dover, she appreciated the solitude a moment away could provide. “The noises were quite different than what I am accustomed to at Longbourn with five sisters. But it has been a jolly trip, nonetheless.”

An owl began to hoot in the trees, and she continued her walk towards a small path at the back of the ruins. Finding a set of stone steps, she descended into the remnants of a church whose roof had long rotted away. The small pillars of stone throughout were enchanting. She sat on a forgotten bench in an alcove, enjoying the silence and the golden light of the sinking sun with grass and wildflowers blooming around the outskirts. Her bliss was soon interrupted, however, by the sound of crunching rocks and fierce grumbles from the outer wall behind. Her heart began to race as the sound of footsteps upon the stone stairs could be heard with the agitated motion of someone coming within the small church.

The light had not completely descended, nor would it for another half an hour, but she was trapped in a most dangerous predicament. Alone, with whom she knew not, far from the safety of her Aunt and Uncle.

XXXXX

Cassandra was right. I needed to get out of the inn and move. The walk had not taken too long, maybe a quarter of an hour, but it was a necessary escape. Darcy grumbled and kicked at loose stones before walking down the steps into the back of the abbey and finding himself surrounded by stone pillars original to the church. “Aaargh!!!” he yelled aloud, allowing his frustration to break free from his always perfectly held façade. He took his walking stick and swung at the wall. “Why?” he yelled again. “Why must you continue to ruin our lives?”

He dropped his stick and leaned his back against a small outcropping on the wall, his shoulders sagging. “I have failed her,” he said above a whisper. “I have failed her. Forgive me father, I have failed.”

~~~*~~~

Elizabeth could not move. If she did, the tall gentleman would see her, but if she did not, she ran the risk of eavesdropping on more of his innermost thoughts. What to do?

He was a fair distance from her, maybe twenty yards. After some consideration, she realized she could not escape undetected and prepared to face the embarrassment of the situation. She delicately cleared her throat.

He shot to his feet instantly. “Who is there?” he asked, looking around the ruins.

“It is nobody, sir.”

“Nobody? And I am Polyphemus the cyclops to you, Odysseus? Show yourself at once!”

Her ire was piqued by his rudeness, but she stood and came from the alcove.

“Why were you concealed?”

“I was not concealed,” she said taking a fortifying breath. “I was merely resting when you came down the steps.”

“Are you alone?” he asked looking around, before allowing his eyes to settle back upon her.

“I am not in the habit of setting up assignations, if that is what you are implying.”

“What is your business here?”

She bristled at his tone. “I am traveling with my Aunt and Uncle and we just stopped for the night on the way to my father’s estate. I needed to walk.”

He stared at her, his gaze unwavering. “Alone?”

“As you see. I was enjoying the solitude, as you yourself were.”

He looked her up and down, skepticism on his countenance. “But I am a man. Society does not censure my actions as it would a woman’s.”

“I am not dictated to by all of society’s demands.”

“What did you hear?”

Although her anger had risen to almost uncontrollable heights, she softened her tongue, remembering the man’s miserable appearance and dejected words only moments before. “I heard nothing you did not wish me to hear.”

He stared at her again before drawing his shoulders back and looking down his nose. “Do you know who I am?”

Taken aback at his question, she responded, “Should I? Save The Prince Regent himself, there is no one I would anticipate such a question from.” She brushed off her skirts and raised her chin. “I believe this conversation will have no proper end. It is also not in my best interest to be alone with a strange man. If you will excuse me?”

Beginning to move past him, he stayed her with his voice. “Forgive me, Madame,” he said, in the same repentant tone he had used moments before while talking to his personal demons. “You are obviously a gentlewoman, and it was unpardonable the way I spoke to you.”

Elizabeth looked at his eyes, deep pools of sadness, and acknowledged his penitence. “You need not ask my forgiveness, sir. But if I may say, it sounds as if you need to forgive yourself.”

A long breath exhaled from his lips. “Bless me Father, for I have sinned…” he muttered.

She chuckled, “I am neither priest, nor Catholic, but can listen with impunity if you wish?” He looked up at her sharply, before she continued. “I do not know your name, nor you mine. Whatever secret you wish to tell will go to my grave. You need not fear reprisal, only taste absolution.”

“I do not believe absolution is possible, Miss…Nobody.”

She smiled at his attempt at humor. “It is your decision, Sir. However, I have always believed a problem shared is a problem halved. Might I help in some way?”

~~~*~~~

There was no artifice in her; this slip of a woman who had scared him witless only moments before. Not for her size or force, but for her mere presence.  Had I said anything to incriminate Georgiana? He measured her appearance. A gentlewoman by all accounts in speech and manner.  Albeit, a poor gentlewoman judging by last year’s made-over gown. Miss Bingley would not be seen alive in such an outdated creation. But, Miss Bingley would have already blackmailed me into marriage for my cryptic confession moments ago. There is a playfulness of spirit in this girl’s features, and she is quite pretty, in a non-classical sort of way.

Fitzwilliam Darcy was a man who tried to follow his instincts, and at this moment, they were telling him to believe this woman. He felt the dam begin to burst. “It is my sister.”

“Your sister?” she asked, shifting her weight to the other foot. “Is she ill?”

Darcy shook his head and indicated the alcove where she had been moments before and they sat. “She is to inherit a large dowry, and a fortune hunter convinced her to elope. She is but fifteen years old.”

“Oh my,” the woman gasped. “How did this happen? Were they acquaintances?”

Darcy swallowed. “He was my father’s godson. We had grown up together on our family’s estate, his father as my father’s steward. My father had a deep fondness for him and upon his death the man took his inheritance and an additional amount requested and left.

“I believed that was the last we would see of him. He had grown quite disreputable and was no longer the type of man I wanted in my sister’s company, or in any proper lady’s company for that matter. After a year, he squandered the funds both my father had bequeathed him as well as those I had paid him and came requesting more. When I denied him, he said that I would pay in the end. And today…I almost did.”

~~~*~~~

He had grown quiet, this handsome man next to her. He was quite tall, with wavy brown hair, and although she imagined he carried a heavy burden, his posture was still erect.

His pain was palpable, and she wished there was a way she could comfort him. “How were they discovered?” she asked softly, not wanting to press his trust, but also realizing just as her elder sister Jane often needed prodding over the worrisome patches of conversation, it seemed this gentleman did as well.

“I had rented a house for her and her companion in…” here he stopped and looked at her.

“It is of no consequence.”

Gratitude showed in his eyes, before he continued. “I had rented the house and determined to surprise her, as my business in London had concluded. I arrived.” He paused and inhaled deeply before clenching his jaw, the image seeming to invade his memory. “I arrived to find them alone together in the parlor of the house, and her chaperone nowhere to be found.” He lowered his head. “She was as yet…unharmed, but his words cut her more deeply than anything.”

“His words?”

“When I confronted him, and she confessed her love, he mocked her. He broke her spirit by professing to only have pursued her for her dowry; for his vengeance upon me for withholding more money; for knowing she was too young and gullible to see through his plan.”

“That poor girl. She must have been heart broken.”

“She has not stopped crying since we left. Luckily, our cousin was to holiday with her friends in…the same town, and I had brought her with me. She is with Geo––my sister now.” He caught himself and gave a sheepish grin. “Forgive me. It is not that I do not trust you, but…”

“I am Nobody, Polyphemus. That was our agreement.”

He nodded gratefully.

“So, what is to become of your sister now?”

He leaned his head back against the stone wall. “I hardly know. We, my cousin and I, will attempt to repress any mention of her almost ruin so that she may make her debut in society in two years’ time. That is, my other cousin. He and I are my sister’s guardians. Not that I have been doing well at it.”

“You, sir, do not know how to be a parent and a brother to a fifteen-year-old girl. And one quite a bit younger than you, if I am correct?” He nodded. “We women are a challenging breed, unlike horses or sheep. What we wish one moment changes rapidly the next.”

He raised a brow in question.

“I am the second eldest daughter with three younger sisters.”

“A total of five?”

“Yes. And no brothers.”

“How does your father manage all of you?”

“He does not. Nor does my mother, but that is of no consequence to your story. As the sun is setting, and I must be off, might I make an observation?”

“Please.” He waited patiently for words which she hoped would offer him some succor.

She gazed into his eyes and smiled. “You did not fail. Failure would have been if your sister had eloped at the first mention of the scheme from this wastrel. But she did not. That is a testament to her love and respect for you and your family. She did not, and therefore, you did not fail.”

“But––”

“No, buts, Polyphemus,” she chuckled standing up, attempting to break the unknown warmth coursing through her as this stranger continued to gaze into her eyes. “You did not fail. You have raised a young woman who knows what is right, but was charmed by a…practiced seducer?” He nodded at her assumption. “Then by all accounts, you are victorious.”

“But what should I say to her? She must be told this behavior was unacceptable.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “And why must you tell her something she already knows? She is aware it was wrong or would have left with him immediately. No. What she needs is to know you do not loathe her. You do not loathe her, correct?”

“Of course not. She is a child.”

“Then you must tell her that she is not to blame and help her remember her worth to you.” The last rays of the setting sun could be seen stretching over the ruins. Elizabeth sighed.  “It grows late, and I must return to my family. Goodbye, and good luck, Sir.” She curtseyed and began to walk towards the steps.

“Wait,” he cried from behind her. “You must allow me to escort you to your inn. I cannot have you walk back unchaperoned.”

“But I have been unchaperoned this whole time, and nothing amiss has occurred.”

“Yes, but you were in my company.”

“Yes, and you are a cyclops! How I made it out alive is beyond me.” A laugh emanated from her. “I am grateful I did not have to tie myself to the underbelly of grazing sheep.”

“That a woman can cite the Odyssey,” she heard him say as she continued towards the steps. “But you must allow me.”

“Then you will meet my uncle and our agreement will be void. No. You may stand and watch me to the Inn if it suits you, but you cannot approach.”

“Then we will part here?” he asked, stopping her with his tone.

“Yes, we will,” she said turning and coming back to stand in front of him. “I wish you well with your sister.”

“And I you on your journey. I feel there is a debt I wish I could repay. Your words have held wisdom which is a balm to my soul. Thank you,” he said, taking her gloved hand and kissing it. “You know not what you have done.”

He looked up from her hand, and the reflection from the moon behind her shone in his eyes. Her breath caught and held for a moment, as he smiled, his dimples showing for the first and last time as she curtseyed again, and raced up the stairs and across the lawn, almost as fast as her heart.

And there you have it, dear readers. The first chapter of a book I have labored on for this past season of my life. You will not need a great understanding of The Odyssey to enjoy, but there will be a few ‘easter eggs’ from the epic sprinkled throughout.

Please let me know what you think. 🙂