Confessions & Correspondence: Col. Fitzwilliam writes to his eldest brother

Welcome to our epistolary retelling of Pride & Prejudice! Jane Austen’s original version of the story, First Impression, was told entirely in letters, so it seemed like a great group project. We’ll be posting a new letter every Wednesday. 

Colonel Fitzwilliam to Viscount Langley

 April 1, 1812

Rosings Park

What ho, brother!

I hope this letter finds you well. Certainly better than I am, as I have been suffering in durance vile at Rosings for the past week. I will not trouble you with whinging complaints about our aunt; suffice to say that Lady Catherine and Cousin Anne are as unchanged as they are tedious. Still, one must do one’s duty, especially when it means Father will continue my allowance to augment my meager Army salary, when they can be bothered to pay it.

Truth to tell, this visit is not completely lacking in entertainment. A charming young lady with a delightful wit is visiting the new rector’s wife, and daily calls there have proved my salvation. Oh, do not make that face, brother; it is nothing serious. She is too well-born to dally with and not wealthy enough to marry, but half an hour of flirtation lifts my spirits.

And then there is the joy of watching Darcy! He has turned up his nose at the finest diamonds of the ton, but this country girl, who shows him no respect and does nothing to draw his attention, has his undivided attention. He never takes his eyes from her, seeming to drink in every word she says, even when she skewers him with her teasing. Apparently all the young ladies on the marriage mart are going about it wrong when they cast out their lures; the secret seems to lie in impertinence and never taking anything he says seriously. I wish you could see how Darcy has fallen!

Even more amusing is that she seems completely oblivious to his interest. I asked her about him once, and she told me, with the greatest of good humor, that he only ever looks at her to criticize. She seems perfectly indifferent to him, apart from poking fun at his silences and his lack of eloquence. Little does she know he can express himself perfectly well when he is out of her presence! I tried telling her once, but she only laughed at me.

Though, truth to tell, I feel sorry for Darcy. His fervent admiration is doomed to frustration. We all know the sort of woman he will eventually marry, and Miss Bennet does not meet any of the qualifications. Not only does she lack a dowry, she even has relatives in trade! Darcy could never lower himself so far, not matter how alluring she may be. While I would be happy to spend more time in her company, even I can see she is not the material from which a Mistress of Pemberley can be made. Poor, fastidious Darcy is destined for heartbreak. At least he will have his fortune and Pemberley to console him, which is more than I do!

Enough about our cousin. How are you surviving your period of rustication at the paternal behest? I hope our father will soon forgive you for your extravagance and allow you to return to Town. I cannot blame you for buying that fine pair of bays, regardless of the price. I hope you are enjoying the roads of Derbyshire with them!

Yours &c, and all that rot,
Richard Fitzwilliam

Read all the letters from Confessions & Correspondence here!