In keeping with the Mothers in May theme of our blog this month, I’d like to start up a discussion about Mothers and Mentors in Jane Austen.
A good friend of mine told me a few weeks ago that she didn’t like Jane Austen because all the mothers in her novels are bad in one way or the other. That had me scratching my head. Was it true? I find it difficult to deny it. I think mothers do generally seem to get a raw deal in Jane Austen’s novels, but I’d like to think there’s more to it than that.
Pride and Prejudice:
In Pride and Prejudice alone, we’re given two examples of ‘bad’ mothers. Though they don’t seem to have anything in common, both Mrs. Bennet and Lady Catherine are vulgar, controlling, and interfering. Jane Austen sets up a nice parallel between Elizabeth and Darcy here. In Elizabeth’s case, Darcy’s arrival in Meryton forces Elizabeth to see his mother through Darcy’s eyes, and to feel ashamed. Similarly, Elizabeth’s presence forces Darcy to acknowledge his aunt’s faults.
With two such negative mother-figures, would I agree with my friend that Jane Austen had something against mothers?
I can’t categorically say so, because there is another mother-figure in the novel: Mrs. Gardiner, who is most definitely a mother, with a houseful of children. To both Elizabeth and Jane, Mrs. Gardiner is a positive mentor. In some senses, Mrs. Gardiner is the very antithesis of Mrs. Bennet, and Elizabeth is proud to introduce her to Mr. Darcy.
The fact that Elizabeth leaves home to travel with Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner tells me that something else may be going on here. I can’t help wondering if Jane Austen’s writing is less about mother-daughter relationships and more about a very classic trope: The Hero/Heroine’s Journey.
According to this trope, if the heroine is to grow and develop, she needs to go on a journey of self-discovery. In other words, Elizabeth needs to distance herself from her family — particularly her mother – to initiate the process of becoming independent. Since Jane Austen writes mostly about young women at the cusp of adulthood, (with the exception of Anne Elliott), then the Journey of the Heroine is often about young ladies becoming fully fledged adults.
As is often the case with the classic Journey trope, the heroine is accompanied on her journey by a mentor figure who acts as a substitute for the mother, though that relationship can sometimes also have its difficulties.
In this sense, Pride and Prejudice closely follows the classic Journey motif. Elizabeth ‘outgrows’ her mother once Mr. Darcy arrives, and begins to see her through his eyes. Elizabeth then goes on a journey with Mrs. Gardiner, who is in many senses a fairy godmother who quite literally takes Elizabeth to Lambton to meet her ‘prince’.
Looking at Jane Austen’s other novels, here are some examples of mothers and mother-figures/mentors that I can think of.
Sense and Sensibility:
Elinor and Marianne are forced to go on a journey after they are kicked out of their home [Mrs. Bennet’s nightmare] after the father’s death, but Elinor very quickly realizes that Mrs. Dashwood is not capable of playing the mother’s role because she isn’t used to having to manage with very little money. Fortunately, Mrs. Jennings is good hearted and generous, and though she has traits in common with Mrs. Bennet, she proves to be kinder and much more discerning than Mrs. Bennet.
The young ladies are able to journey back to London because of Mrs. Jennings, who at one point appears to be another fairy godmother who does her best to bring Marianne and Willoughby together. We all know how that one worked out, though!
Northanger Abbey:
In Northanger Abbey. Catherine’s mother is generally benevolent. But Catherine also has a fairy godmother – Mrs. Allen — who sets her out in a new direction, but she is empty-headed and doesn’t provide Catherine with much guidance. Catherine does have a positive role-model/mentor, Eleanor, who acts as a chaperon, though she perhaps doesn’t quite qualify as a mother-figure.
Emma
In Emma, the absent mother has been replaced by the positive Mrs. Taylor, who is a lovely mother figure but is guilty of being too lax with Emma and leading to her being spoilt. Another mother figure is Miss Bates, who dotes on Jane Fairfax but annoys Emma because she insists on reading out even single letter of Jane’s.
Persuasion
Persuasion has a negative mother-figure, Lady Russell. Arguably, Anne is too old to need a mother figure in the novel, but fortunately she has a positive role-model and mentor in Sophia Croft.
Mansfield Park
Mansfield Park is the worse of JA’s main novels in terms of mothers. It has a series of negative/neglectful mothers and mother-figures and no positive women mentors, from Mrs. Bertram to Mrs. Norris and Fanny’s mother, Mrs. Price, who cares nothing for her daughters, and is described as a ‘slattern.’
Lady Susan
The worst mother-figure in Jane Austen, of course, is Lady Susan, who is actively malicious towards her daughter. But then Lady Susan is a villain in so many ways, it is hardly surprising that she adds the title of worst mother to her many negative qualities.
In conclusion, I’m not quite sure I can defend Jane Austen against the charge of portraying mothers negatively, though I do think an argument could be made in favor of Mrs. Bennet. After all, she was trying to save her daughters from being destitute. What do you? Do you think my friend is right, or can you think of some other way of approaching the topic? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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This is a very heavy topic! I concur with most of your descriptions. I think the mothers in Jane Austen’s world we have to interpret in context to the time in early 1800.
Every mother/woman is not only bad or good.
Mrs. Russell is very friendly and an ally to Anne and gives her a lot of confidence because the rest of the family thinks only about themself.
Most of the mothers died a young age often in childbirth. The memories are few.
Jane Austen writes the mothers from observation. Maybe the mothers wanted to be heard, they had no rights and we know Mrs. Bennet was no gentlewoman. Mr. Bennet had to guide his wife but he didn’t do it. I think him much worse than her.
It is a huge topic, Simone. I felt when I started writing the post that it was a huge topic, with so many dimensions to it. That’s why I opened it up to discussion rather than trying to cover it all :).
Mrs. Russell is more positive than anyone else in Anne’s family, but wasn’t she the primary person who ‘persuaded’ Anne not to have anything to do with Wentworth?
It all depends how society defines the role of the “good mother”. I do think we need to consider the time period as well, so I’m glad you put that out there. The gentry did not necessarily spend as much time with their children in those days — between handing over the children to a wet-nurse and having nursemaids and governesses the expectations were different from our modern expectations.
Fascinating post, Monica! I love how you’ve looked at each of the major novels, as well as Lady Susan! Your point about the heroine’s journey is key. I think Austen understood that her heroines needed to stand apart from their mothers (either by going to a different location, as Catherine Morland does; by standing alone, as Anne Elliot and Fanny Price do; by standing in for their mothers, as Emma does as mistress of Hartfield; or by standing in opposition to their mother, as Elizabeth Bennet does).
I would, however, argue that Sense and Sensibility is quite different with respect to mothers and the heroine’s journey. I think Mrs. Dashwood is in fact a pretty good mother figure, though not as strong-minded as Elinor. Mrs. Dashwood may be initially unrealistic about their new prospects for a home,but she does not balk when it comes to moving far away to a cottage, versus her formerly large estate. And while she hopes her daughters find happiness with their romantic choices, we never see her push them toward marriage.
Perhaps in Sense and Sensibility, Elinor does not need an absent mother to stand on her own because her circumstances (rather than some internal struggle) give us a chance to see her mettle. Now, I adore S&S — but I do think it’s the least dynamic when it comes to the growth of its heroine. Elinor begins the novel strong, and she ends it strong. (It’s Marianne who must make the journey, but S&S isn’t her story, and she’s not the heroine.)
Thanks for this really thought provoking post!
I’d also add, with regards to your friend’s concerns about the depiction of mothers: your friend is right that Austen skewers mothers — and many female characters — in her novels. But she also skewers males (and fathers)! I think Austen loved highlighting the ridiculous aspects of human nature, and there was no doubt that the marriage mart, as well as the restrictions placed on women, made some of the mothers’ actions seem very ridiculous given the circumstances. I also think Austen was a pragmatist, and she understood that men could act just as foolishly– and even more dangerously — but rarely would they be “punished” as severely by society. I love, love, love this line from Mansfield Park, when she is discussing Henry Crawford’s behavior with Maria Bertram Rushworth:
“That punishment, the public punishment of disgrace, should in a just measure attend his share of the offence is, we know, not one of the barriers which society gives to virtue. In this world the penalty is less equal than could be wished; but without presuming to look forward to a juster appointment hereafter, we may fairly consider a man of sense, like Henry Crawford, to be providing for himself no small portion of vexation and regret: vexation that must rise sometimes to self-reproach, and regret to wretchedness, in having so requited hospitality, so injured family peace, so forfeited his best, most estimable, and endeared acquaintance, and so lost the woman whom he had rationally as well as passionately loved” (Mansfield Park, Chapter 48; emphasis in the quote is mine, not Austen’s).
Thanks again for the conversation!
Excellent quote from Mansfield Park, Christina! Jane Austen uses her characteristic sly humor to point out society’s tendency to overlook men’s offenses much more easily. And of course the concept of a “good mother” isn’t easy to define. So, yes, there are more complications to the question.
I do agree that there is more nuance to Mrs. Dashwood’s role in Sense and Sensibility. Generally, when it comes to the heroine’s journey, both Elinor and Anne are strong characters to start with. I wonder if Jane Austen meant Marianne to be the heroine, but then changed her mind at some point. I always think about the relationship of Cassandra and Jane in relation to the novel. I wonder if Cassandra reflects Elinor and Jane reflects Marianne, and if the novel wasn’t in fact a tribute to her sister? Just something that I always wonder about. As to Mrs. Dashwood — I think she’s not a ‘bad’ mother, whatever that is, but she doesn’t do anything to stop Marianne making a fool of herself, a little bit like Mrs. Bennet with Lydia. It doesn’t make her a ‘bad’ mother, just not a very effective one.
As a study of characters, I think Austen wrote in such a way that she let the reader decide. Many people might relate to one or the other of Austen’s women and no two opinions would be the same. I also wonder just how close any or all of those mothers were a reflection of Austen’s own mother? In my own case… my mother was loud and while I ignored her, she scared the crap out of my friend when she visited. I didn’t understand and simply said that was her way. It never occurred to me that she was loud. With three noisy children in the house, we simply didn’t notice. Like Elizabeth seeing her mother through Darcy’s eyes, I saw my mother through my friend’s eyes. This was a fascinating post. Thanks for sharing.
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I quite agree, Jeannette. She gives us complex characters, and leaves it to us to reach our own. I love your own story as well, and the fact that you can relate to the switch that occurs when you see a familiar person through someone else’s eyes. JA captures it beautifully, I think.
Great post, and wonderful comments from Simone and Christina. I think no mother in real life is perfect, so Jane Austen is pretty spot-on. I also think the birth mothers overall (excepting Lady Susan) are loving people, as are many of the mother figures. They want what they think is best for their children, even if we think they are misguided. Mrs. Bennet isn’t very nice sometimes and is often selfish, but I still think she is doing the best she knows how for her children’s future. This is true of the other mothers, too. The fathers are just as flawed. Parents overall are not great in Jane Austen’s novels, as they have exaggerated qualities that we may find in smaller portions in ourselves and our friends. That said, these poor role models do make the heroines and heroes have to stand on their own more and prove themselves as they discover who they are.
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JA’s fathers are just as flawed, I agree, T C. Mr. Woodhouse in particular is a case in point. But he brings out the best in Emma. Whether you like her as a character or not, she is very good to her father, and she is very considerate of his comfort.
Great discussion below on the difficult relationship between many mothers and their daughters as explored by Jane Austen. It’s a universal timeless theme—the mother/daughter struggle.
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It *is* a timeless theme, and it’s a testimony to JA that she addresses it, isn’t it, and that we can still relate to what she wrote. The truly remarkable things is that she manages to explore so many concepts in her writing!
I agree with TC that most of these Mothers are trying to do what they think is best for their children. But in most cases the young adults (and the reader 😉) just don’t agree with their opinion.
In my experience Austen is pretty realistic in this regard, because in real life, many mothers I know are exactly the same, Austen only exaggerates their bad traits to make us realize them.
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She’s amazingly realistic, isn’t she, Sabrina? That’s why we continue to read her books in the 21st century. She understands people, and she doesn’t shy away from showing their flaws as well as their strengths.
And being a mother myself, I know how hard it is to always act kind and patient like Mrs Gardiner 😜
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I know exactly what you mean, Sabrina!! 🙂
I think Jane was wonderful with using characters in different ways to move her stories forward, whether they are villains or other loving.
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She was remarkably skilled at it, denise, especially considering there were no online courses or books about how to write a novel. And to think she did all her writing by hand, in notebooks!
Late to the discussion but I have to agree that most mothers in Jane Austen’s works come across as lacking or even as misguided or worst. Thanks for sharing all the examples here. I found it interesting and agree with your opinions about each.