Falling at Pemberley Ch 10

It has been a lot of fun to read all your comments, and especially when you want to see something happen that I know is coming up. This is one of those chapters that I think you will enjoy – there is only a tiny bit of angst that will be left unresolved, but other than that, I hope you will find the chapter to your liking!

Chapter 10

Elizabeth awoke the next morning as the first rays of light filtered into her room. Her aunt was still sleeping, so she rose quietly and walked to the window, hoping to see blue sky and sunshine. She pulled back the rose-coloured drapery and was granted her wish.

She dressed in a yellow muslin morning dress as quietly as she could, so as not to waken her aunt. Mrs. Gardiner began to stir, however, and finally sat up.

“You are awake already, Lizzy?”

“Yes, I woke up and could not sleep any longer. Pray, forgive me for waking you. I was hoping I would not disturb you.”

“Are you going out for a walk?”

Elizabeth nodded. “It looks delightful outside, and I have not taken an extended walk around Pemberley since we arrived.” She chuckled. “My attempts were always interrupted by something.”

“All right, but do take your shawl… and do not get lost.”

Elizabeth picked up her shawl and tossed it over her arm. “I will try not to get lost, Aunt. As large as Pemberley manor is, I doubt I will ever be beyond its sight.”

Elizabeth walked out to the sound of her aunt’s laughter.

When she stepped outside into the courtyard, she breathed in deeply. The air, after the rain two days ago, was fresh, yet cool, so she wrapped her shawl about her shoulders and began to walk. When she reached the large archway that took one out of the courtyard, she stopped to determine which way to go. She had already walked to the lake, stream, and gardens, so she considered exploring the nearby woods or perhaps the grassy meadow that extended beyond the lake.

She turned around and looked at the low ridge that rose behind Pemberley. “Ahh! It will give me a perfect view of all that Pemberley is!” Her heart fluttered at just the thought of its vastness, and she decided to set off in that direction.

Elizabeth quickly found a walking path with a gentle incline that was not any steeper than the one she walked at Oakham Mount. While muddy in spots, it was passable as long as she took care where she stepped. After some leisurely walking, she looked up and realized the summit of the ridge was higher than she had initially thought. Off to the side, however, was a delightful flat area which would provide a nice view of the prospect below.

She walked over and leaned against a tree, looking out over the manor, which was just below her. The view below of the sparkling lake, dense woods, and colourful gardens was magnificent. Her breath caught as she considered again that it all could have been hers. That thought had assaulted her at different times throughout her stay. She let out a sigh of admiration as she considered the stately home, the incomparable library, the dark polished wood of the furniture, the fine fabrics of the window coverings and upholstery, and the… gentleman. Elizabeth put her hand up to her neck, fingering the pendant she wore as she pondered all that had taken place since…

“Good morning, Miss Bennet.”

Elizabeth started and turned in surprise, feeling a euphoric wave flood through her when she saw Mr. Darcy walking towards her. “Good morning,” she replied with a smile. “Are you on your way up to the top of the ridge?”

Darcy shook his head. “No, I am actually on my way down from there.”

Elizabeth looked up. “I thought I would attempt it, but I think this morning I will settle for this being my destination. It is a lovely view.”

“It is one of my favourites.” Darcy turned and pointed up to the top. “From up there you can view both sides of the ridge, but you are limited as to what you can see of Pemberley because of the overgrown shrubbery. This open ledge allows one to see so much more.”

“Then that settles it. This is as high as I shall go…” She turned and looked at him with a teasing smile. “At least today.”

They stood quietly, both gazing at the vista below them. Finally, Elizabeth said, “Does Miss Westerfield not wish to walk this morning?” She turned her head briefly towards Mr. Darcy, and then back. “I saw you go out with her before the rains came.”

Darcy’s shoulders rose as he took in a breath. “I do not think she is inclined to walk as far or as long as I wish to. My purpose in climbing up the ridge this morning was to see how the grounds fared in the storm. With the winds and heavy rains we received, I wanted to make certain no trees were down and there were no areas of flooding.”

“I see. And was everything to your satisfaction?”

Darcy nodded. “Yes. At least all that I could see from up there. My steward will ride out later today to check some of the areas that cannot be determined from such a distance.”

After a moment’s pause, Darcy spoke again. “I am glad your uncle is improving.”

“Thank you. I know he is grateful that he is now able to get up and about.” Elizabeth pressed her lips together. There was a moment of silence again, and then she said, “It appears you have a lot of pleasant memories with Miss Westerfield.”

Darcy shifted his weight from one foot to another. “Yes, our family acquaintance goes back many years.”

“She is… she seems most amiable.”

“Yes, she is exceptionally… agreeable.”

Elizabeth felt a sudden wave of disappointment flood her, after having just felt such elation. She clasped her hands tightly when a tremor passed through her.

Darcy suddenly turned to face her. “May I ask you a question?”

Elizabeth looked up at him and mutely nodded.

Before speaking, he looked down and crossed him arms. When he looked back up, he asked, “Where were you last evening?”

Elizabeth started. “Pardon me? You saw me at dinner, as well as before and after.” She shook her head. “I do not understand the meaning of your question.”

His brows lowered, and he slowly shook his head. “I saw someone last evening that looked a great deal like you, but that young lady did not act at all like the Miss Bennet I know. I have my doubts that it was you.”

Elizabeth could not stifle her laugh. “Unless I have a twin somewhere, you know very well it was me.”

“All reasoning would have indicated it was you, but you… not once did you disagree with me – or anyone else – on any subject.” He leaned in towards her. “Even the subject of poetry, of which I know we spoke – and disagreed on – at Netherfield.”

Elizabeth looked down sheepishly. “Yes, we did, and yes, I did agree with you on just about everything last evening.”

“No, you agreed with me on absolutely everything,” Darcy corrected her. “Not once did you challenge or argue with anything that was said.”

Elizabeth nervously turned her gaze away from him and back towards the view. “I am far too outspoken. My aunt suggested I ought to respect you as our host and all that you have done for us, by not being so disposed to express any opposite opinions I may have.”

Darcy let out a huff. “I see.”

Elizabeth bit her lip and tilted her head as she looked back at him. “You appear to be displeased. Is that because I did not argue with you last night? Do you believe my aunt was wrong in advising me to keep my pert opinions to myself?”

“I can understand her concern. But I tire of hearing opinions – particularly those of ladies – that only agree with mine.” Darcy drew himself erect and added, “I have often wondered who a lady really was, what they were really like, and what their true opinions on subjects were.” He gave his head a shake. “It may come as a surprise that I rather enjoy a lively discussion, even if it is on the opposite side of an argument.” He took in a deep breath. “For example, the Miss Westerfield I knew and remembered when we were younger was never afraid to challenge me or disagree with me. She no longer does that.”

“I see,” Elizabeth said softly. “Oh!” she said after a moment of silence. Her eyes widened as the import of his words forcefully struck her. She suddenly comprehended that while she had argued with him in Hertfordshire and Kent out of spite, he had welcomed her frequent and somewhat contentious discussions. She felt her face warm in a blush and looked down.

When she looked back up, he was staring intently at her. “Miss Bennet, if you will excuse me I ought to return. Enjoy your morning.”

“Thank you.”

He remained still, however, and said, “I understand your aunt’s giving you such prudent advice. You may continue to abide by it if you wish, but…” He paused and pressed his lips together quickly. “I will not think poorly of you if you go against your aunt’s counsel and disagree with me on occasion.” He began to walk to the path, but stopped and turned back to her. “It is often through intelligent, differing discourse that one can grow in their understanding of another and perhaps be enlightened about their own faulty reasoning, beliefs, and even their… conduct.” 

Elizabeth smiled as she watched him walk away, feeling that her understanding of the man was becoming clearer with each passing day.

*~*~*

Later that afternoon Elizabeth joined her aunt in assisting Mr. Gardiner as he walked the length of the hall and back without his cane. He was not as sore this morning as he had been the day before and wanted to walk a little beyond the small dining room. As they came to one of the main hallways and turned, they heard music playing in the distance.

“I wonder if that is Miss Darcy playing.” She looked at the Gardiners. “Since I earlier turned down her invitation to hear her play, would you mind if I go hear her now?” She bit her lip. “Besides, I need to decide what I am going to perform at the soiree. Perhaps I can select something while she is playing, and then practice when she is finished.”

Mr. Gardiner took her hand and squeezed it. “You go on, my dear. Your aunt and I shall manage nicely.”

“Thank you.” Elizabeth turned in the direction of the music, knowing it was coming from upstairs. She followed the melodic sounds as she recollected the various rooms they visited on their tour five days ago. Had it truly been five days? So much had happened since then!

She came to the room and peeked in. Georgiana was facing away from her as she concentrated on her piece of music. Not wishing to startle her, Elizabeth remained silent until she had finished her piece. When the young girl finished, Elizabeth began to softly clap her hands.

Georgiana turned quickly, and a smile appeared on her face. “Oh, Miss Bennet! I thought perhaps you were my brother. He always sneaks upon me like that and then claps, whether I deserve it or not.”

“Well, you certainly deserved it. You are delightfully proficient.”

The young girl chuckled. “Thank you. I do enjoy it.”

“Will you play another? And while you play, may I look through the music for something I might perform tomorrow night?”

“Certainly.” Georgiana indicated to Elizabeth where she would find a good selection of music and walked over with her.

The two ladies perused the pieces of music together, and Georgiana quickly settled on one that she claimed she truly enjoyed. She returned to the piano while Elizabeth continued to look.

As she began to play, Elizabeth continued to look through the music, pulling out two pieces with which she was familiar. She read through each piece to familiarize herself with them, and then decided on one. She looked up at Georgiana with a smile and began to move her feet to the music. “Ah, a three-quarter piece. One can waltz to this if one is so inclined.”

“Do you know how to waltz?” Georgiana asked, looking briefly from her music to Elizabeth. “My brother forbids me to learn until I am older.”

Elizabeth laughed. “It is thought to be a scandalous dance by many. I only know enough of the steps to be a danger to some gentleman’s toes if I were to dance it on the dance floor.” She looked down at her feet as they moved in rhythm, forward, to the side, and then back again. She then lifted her hands as if she had a partner and continued.

She closed her eyes as she concentrated on the steps. She could imagine no one but Mr. Darcy as her invisible partner. When her hand was suddenly clasped, her eyes shot open.

“It appears as though you are without a partner, Miss Bennet. May I have this dance?” He gave a bow.

Elizabeth looked up into his smiling face and lost all ability to think, let alone dance. Her feet stopped moving, and she felt her cheeks grow warm. “I… I think not. I really do not know how to perform the waltz well.”

“It is actually much easier than many of the country dances and all their steps one must learn. I was watching you and could readily see you know the basics. Shall we?”

Elizabeth felt his hand lightly press into her back at her waist as he took her hand in his other. She suddenly knew why many considered it an inappropriate dance. She could not imagine dancing so close to just any gentleman. The fact that it was Mr. Darcy gave her pause to consider just how much her opinion of him had improved, for she was greatly enjoying it.

He slowly began to move to the music. “Would you not agree that neither of us perform well for strangers?”

Elizabeth instantly recollected the conversation they had at Rosings, but before she could think of a reply, he added in a soft voice, “But then, we are not strangers, are we?”

Elizabeth dared not look at him. She felt her face warm as she considered the import of his words and swallowed in an attempt to moisten her dry mouth. As he began to move to the rhythm of the music, she struggled to command her feet to move in the proper direction, but instead, she tripped.

“Just follow me,” he said reassuringly.

Elizabeth tentatively placed her left hand above his shoulder, just barely touching it. She kept it there until a turn prompted her to grasp it tightly to prevent herself from falling. No, this was not at all like country dancing, which was faster and with very little contact with one’s partner other than holding hands.  

When she finally felt comfortable enough to look up at him, and she was better able to regulate her thoughts, she asked, “How is it that you know the waltz, Mr. Darcy? Many consider it quite scandalous.” She laughed softly. “Even your sister told me you will not allow her to learn it.”

“Georgiana is too young. And I only came to learn it because my aunt – Colonel Fitzwilliam’s mother – forced the two of us to learn because she felt it would soon become widely acceptable and popular in England.” He shook his head. “We surmised it was so she could have partners with whom to practice. Her husband refuses to learn.”

“I see.” Elizabeth said with a soft laugh.

She was all too aware of how close he was to her. With every turn they made, Mr. Darcy pressed his hand gently against her back and closed his hand more firmly around hers to guide her. While she had enjoyed being held in his arms when he had carried her in the rain, she now felt a great delight that she did not want to end. At length, she realized he was humming to the music, and she smiled as she realized he did, indeed, have a very pleasant baritone voice.

Elizabeth drew her head back and asked, “Do you always hum when you dance? I do not recollect that you were humming when we danced at the Netherfield Ball.”

“Was I humming just now? I did not realize it.”

“You were, and your sister is correct. You do have a very nice voice.”

“I thank you, and no, I rarely hum when I dance.”

“You must be enjoying your sister’s playing.”

“Yes… she plays superbly,” he said softly as the music came to a stop.

They stood silently watching each other, still in the position of a waltzing couple. They quickly stepped apart when they heard the sound of footsteps hurrying away from the door.

Darcy took in a quick breath and rushed towards the door, looking to his left and then right when he reached the hall. He shook his head as he walked back into the room. “Unfortunately, I did not see who it was. It was most likely a servant walking past.”

His pinched brows told Elizabeth he suspected differently.

Elizabeth looked up and attempted to make light of the situation despite the onslaught of feelings and seeing in his features a reflection of those same emotions. “Thank you for the dance, sir. You are an exceptional instructor.”

“You are an exceptional… student.”

“I had… I had better return to my room to see if my aunt and uncle have need of anything to ready themselves for dinner. Thank you.” She turned to Georgiana. “Thank you for allowing me to hear you play, Miss Darcy… and for the music.” She retrieved her piece of music with shaking fingers. She knew it would be futile to practice the piece now. “I shall return later to practice.”

As Elizabeth hurried out of the room, she looked down at her hand, which Mr. Darcy’s fingers had enfolded. Despite its trembling, it felt warm to the touch, and she placed it gently over her heart.

*~*~*

Darcy stood still for a moment after Elizabeth stepped from the room. He was silent as he looked down at the hand he had wrapped around hers. It still felt warm, and he brought it up to his face, covering his lips and jaw.

Darcy turned back to face Georgiana, who came and stood beside him. He smiled at her as his feelings for Elizabeth assaulted him.

“You enjoyed dancing with her, did you not?” she asked.

“I should never have…”

“But you did, and I can readily see that you still have strong feelings for her.”

Darcy looked down at the hand that had cradled hers and grasped it with his other hand. “I own… I do have feelings for her, but…”

“Why can you not admit you still love her and you will never love Miss Westerfield as much as you do Miss Bennet?” Georgiana shook her head. “Miss Westerfield is kind and sweet and pretty, but you do not love her.”

Darcy took in a deep breath. “If only it were that simple.”

Georgiana straightened her shoulders and swallowed. She had never spoken to her brother in this fashion, but she felt strongly about this. “I know love is never simple, and I know you asked for her hand once and she refused you, but I believe you are so afraid of being hurt by her again that you do not see that her feelings for you have improved.”

Darcy waited to answer as he gathered his thoughts. “They may have improved but that does not mean she loves me.”

“And you will do nothing to secure her love?” Georgiana shook her head. “I believe your actions and words towards her – or your inaction and silence – are an indication of how much or how little you really love her and are willing to sacrifice for her.” She drew in a deep breath. “Do you not see that she is likely just as afraid of allowing herself to love you as you are her? She already turned down your offer of marriage once, and it is likely she fears you would not give your heart to her again.”

Darcy’s mouth went dry.

“I watched both of you as you danced. There was something that was very evident to me, and I personally believe it was a strong sense of love and devotion.” She reached up on her toes and kissed his cheek. “I shall leave you now, Brother. I need to get ready for dinner and shall leave you to think on it.” She tilted her head. “Will you promise to do that?”

Darcy leaned over and kissed the top of his sister’s head. “I promise, Georgiana.”

He watched her leave and then closed his eyes. He could still feel the sensation of holding Elizabeth and twirling to the rhythm of the music as he waltzed with her. His brows lowered, and he let out a long breath. Could Georgiana be correct? Had Elizabeth’s feelings for him improved? He could only hope.

Chapter 11