An Eventful Morning

So – Frenemies is this month’s theme. Let’s have some more fun with it.

In the WIP I’m working on at the moment, I’m gearing towards a different kind of frenemy situation that Elizabeth is not going to find in the least amusing.

But that’s still on the drawing board, so I’ve written a vignette for today – one about a certain someone we dearly love to hate:

 

 

An Eventful Morning

 

BBC

The letter lay just there, next to her cup of coffee, where Miss Bingley had dropped it in disgust. It had sought to fold itself, yet it remained partially opened, so the lines penned in her brother’s large, untidy land leapt at her to vex her afresh.

Miss Bingley cast a venomous look at the offending piece of correspondence and begun to butter her roll with far more energy than the circumstance required. It was no wonder, then, that the fresh bread crumbled into pieces.

Miss Bingley huffed and angrily pushed the plate aside.

“Come now, Caro,” her sister said, once she had sipped her tea. “What is done is done. We had better learn to make our peace with it.”

“Make our peace with it!” Miss Bingley scoffed. “Pray, tell me how I am to achieve that feat, Sister, for the task is beyond my capabilities. In fact, I can only wonder at your serenity,” she reproachfully added. “It is in every way extraordinary. Nay, I shall go one step further and say I find it exceedingly vexing.”

Mrs Hurst reached across the table to pat her hand. “I have no wish to vex you. I am equally dismayed, I assure you—”

“Are you now!” the other shot back. “If so, you have a singular way of showing it.”

A flash of annoyance glittered in Mrs Hurst’s eyes. “What will you have me do, Caroline? Tear my hair out and wail like a banshee?”

Miss Bingley grimaced. “Even that graceless display would be preferable to this maddening placidity,” she retorted. “I thought you shared my views on this.”

“You know full well that I do,” Mrs Hurst placatingly began, only to be unceremoniously interrupted.

“Then why are you so willing to accept this disgraceful union?”

Mrs Hurst shrugged. “Because one must bow to the inevitable. Besides – and that is especially relevant to you – one also ought to remember on which side one’s bread is buttered,” she observed with an involuntary glance at her sister’s ruined piece of buttered bread, which only served to fuel Miss Bingley’s ire.

“Surely you do not mean to imply that I should now curry that insipid gal’s favour!” she spluttered, and her eyes widened when Mrs Hurst nodded and calmly replied:

“That is precisely what I mean. Do think clearly, Caroline,” she urged, just as Miss Bingley opened her lips to protest. “Galling as we may find it, once she becomes his wife she will have all the power. Over our brother, and therefore over his purse-strings, if you take my meaning.”

Miss Bingley gasped. She had not thought of that. Her dowry was secure, naturally, but her allowance was at her brother’s discretion, and contingent upon his goodwill. How positively infuriating that a brother over three years her junior should have ultimate control over her finances till she married. There truly was no justice in this world!

Louisa’s pointed reference to the altered balance of power could only fuel her resentment. To think that mere months ago she had presided over Charles’s table, and that mealy-mouthed creature, Jane Bennet, had been obliged to show her due deference and be grateful for her notice before she even gained admittance to Netherfield. The very notion that the roles stood to be reversed was insupportable.

Miss Bingley lost no time in declaring that but, to her immense frustration, her sister shrugged. “It could have been worse.”

Miss Bingley stared at her elder sister as if Mrs Hurst had lost her mind. Their foolish brother could have married Georgiana Darcy and paved his way to greatness. Or at the very least, paved her way to Pemberley. Instead, he had gone and offered for Jane Bennet, she of no fortune and graceless relations! “What could possibly be worse than a connection with that abominable family?” Miss Bingley cried, throwing her hands in the air.

“Well, Charles could have taken a fancy to Miss Eliza,” her sister evenly replied.

What?” Miss Bingley spluttered, instead of resorting to a more acceptable way of expressing her disbelief and horror.

Photo: BBC

Mrs Hurst tutted.

To her way of thinking, the deliciously contemptuous ‘I beg your pardon?’ was infinitely preferable. Regrettably, the impeccable manners learnt at the best seminaries in town fell away much like water off the proverbial duck’s back whenever Caroline was in a temper – and her lady’s maid could attest to that.

Rather than treading on dangerous ground by commenting on her sister’s manners, especially at a time like this, Mrs Hurst sensibly argued, “Think about it: given his open disposition, Charles could have easily been drawn towards Eliza’s unrestrained demeanour.”

“Her brashness, you mean.”

“Precisely. But I will say this in Jane Bennet’s favour: she can be cajoled and steered by a determined hand. Her sister would not be so amenable.”

“Heavens, Louisa, pray oblige me and quit speaking of that cunning vixen!” Miss Bingley exclaimed. “Frankly, I almost wish she had ensnared Charles, rather than setting her sights that much higher.”

“Upon Mr Darcy?”

Miss Bingley cast her sister a long glance as if to say ‘Who else?’

“Well, take heart, Caroline,” Mrs Hurst resumed. “Whatever preference he might have declared or implied in that quarter, ‘tis plain to see that her base charms, such as they are, can no longer hold his interest.”

“What makes you so certain?” Miss Bingley asked, her own interest piqued.

“He returned to town, did he not? If he were still drawn to the minx, he might have extended his stay at Netherfield. But he returned to town.”

For the first time since the arrival of the post, Miss Bingley beamed. “Come, Sister, we have dallied for long enough. I shall go and dress. I have a mind to call upon dear Georgiana.”

Mrs Hurst nodded sagely. “And so you should. But firstly, we each have a letter to write.”

“To whom?”

“Jane Bennet.”

“Whatever for?”

“To congratulate her upon her engagement to Charles and assure her of our sisterly affection.”

A mutinous crease formed between Miss Bingley’s brows. “Please yourself,” she muttered. “I shall not bow and scrape to Jane Bennet.”

Mrs Hurst cast her sister a steadying look. “Caro dear, are you quite so fond of the prospect of living in Scarborough? It may seem close to Pemberley, to be sure. But geography aside, believe you me – Netherfield is closer.”

Miss Bingley’s sole response was a baleful glare.

* * * *

A long and gruelling hour later, the deed was done and the letter written. It had required many drafts, and several pens were broken in the process, even though Miss Bingley prided herself on mending pens remarkably well.

“I need a new pen-knife,” the lady muttered to herself as she furiously rubbed the bar of soap over her ink-stained fingers.

* * * *

Photo: BBC

 

Miss Bingley’s humour was vastly improved after her arrival at the Darcy townhouse. Georgiana was at home and – most fortunately – so was her brother, although Miss Bingley feared he was not in the best of spirits.

She cast him a sympathetic glance. No wonder. He must be as dismayed as she at the sad conclusion of their joint efforts. Perhaps he feared his friendship with Charles would suffer if his attempts to steer his friend away from that unfortunate union ever came to light.

 

 

It was indeed a pity that she could not broach this delicate subject in his sister’s hearing. But she would use the first available opportunity to assure him that he need not harbour any fears in that regard, for her lips were sealed and would remain so. She would never dream of revealing anything to Charles, for Mr Darcy’s sake as well as hers. If anything, it was rather pleasing that she and the man she hoped to marry should share this, their first secret. The intimacy of it was not in the least diminished by the fact that her elder sister was party to the secret too.

Sadly, the tempestuous arrival of a visitor put paid to her hopes of sharing confidences with the master of the house, and Miss Bingley fought very hard to swallow her ire when Lady Catherine de Bourgh was announced. She resolutely pasted her best smile upon her countenance and curtsied to her ladyship with the utmost grace – even if she said so herself.

Lady Catherine’s nod could not be described as gracious and worse still, she demanded a private audience with her nephew, then swept out of the room and Mr Darcy was compelled to follow.

His obvious reluctance to leave the drawing room was a much-needed balm to Miss Bingley’s spirits but, to her unsurpassed delight, there was more to come – a just reward for what she could only think of as her angelic forbearance.

BBC

 

Pliable as ever, Georgiana agreed to play for them, and thus unwittingly furthered their plans to extend the visit.

But Miss Bingley’s delight came from a source that was not in the least musical: namely, from Lady Catherine’s booming voice that could be heard from Mr Darcy’s study as the visitors followed Georgiana across the great hall towards the music room.

 

 

Photo: BBC

“You have a sacred duty, Nephew, to yourself, your lineage, your estate and your departed mother’s memory,” Miss Bingley heard Lady Catherine declare. “So pray cease procrastinating. The time has come to fulfil your relations’ hopes and make a most respectable marriage—”

To her disappointment, Miss Bingley could not hear more. Having ushered them into the music room, Miss Darcy closed the door and, with a conscious look, she sat at the pianoforte and launched into an elaborate concerto.

Much like the music, Miss Bingley’s best hopes soared. His aunt, almost the nearest relation he had in this world, had come all the way from Kent to remind him of his duty to marry and provide an heir to Pemberley. He would have to listen. He set great store by family and duty, so he would take heed and cease procrastinating, just as her ladyship said. This was precisely what he needed: to be jolted into action and finally make his offer.

 

And who should he turn to but herself? From Michaelmas onwards, who else had been almost constantly at his side, favoured with his company and his attention? Not one of the titled ladies of the ton, and not some hoydenish creature either. For all his comments about fine eyes and a tanned complexion, he had left Hertfordshire behind and had returned to town. To her.

He fully understood the value of ladylike accomplishments, and would be sure to prove it. Thanks to this dear lady, his aunt, he would cease procrastinating and would offer marriage. Any day now, Miss Bingley thought, looking about her with a proprietary smile. (© 2019 by Joana Starnes)

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    • Dung on March 25, 2019 at 12:16 am
    • Reply

    Caroline Bingley is full of herself! Can’t wait to read your upcoming book your working on! Are you going to give us anymore hints? Pretty please…

      • Joana Starnes on March 25, 2019 at 1:34 pm
      • Reply

      LOL Dung, isn’t she just? Thanks, I’m so glad you’re looking forward to my upcoming book! Well, after all the fun & games with meddling ghosts in ‘The Darcy Legacy’, I’m back to my old habits of torturing Darcy. But this time Elizabeth’s not off the hook either 😉

      I hope you’ll like it. And I’ve not given up on that Unthinkable Triangle sequel, I promise. I’ll write that if it’s the last thing I do!

      Have a great week and thanks for reading!

    • Debbie B. on March 25, 2019 at 12:30 am
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    Ha! Caroline may be disturbed at the thought of Charles marrying Jane Bennet, but I love how you set her up for her ultimate disappointment and then leave it to the reader to imagine what her reaction will be in the future when she learns who Darcy offers marriage to!!! Well done, Joana!

    Now, about this W.I.P. … It’s quite cruel of you to dangle that out to us so tantalizingly!

      • Joana Starnes on March 25, 2019 at 1:44 pm
      • Reply

      Thank you, Debbie, I’m so glad you liked the vignette. Messing with Caroline Bingley is SO much fun 😀

      Sorry about the tantalising bit :)) . I just wanted to say I *am* actually working on something all those days when I go off the grid, and I do hope you’ll like it. Thanks for stopping by to read the post and leave this lovely comment!

    • Glynis on March 25, 2019 at 1:38 am
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    Hahaha! I almost wish Caroline could witness Darcy proposing to Elizabeth – and his joy when she accepts!
    I don’t believe for a minute that she could keep up the act of liking Jane permanently so unless she finds herself a husband it looks like it could be Scarborough.
    Thank you for sharing this Joana, now about this WIP? Can’t wait to read it (then you can start on the one Rita and I proposed 🙂
    🙂
    🙂

      • Joana Starnes on March 25, 2019 at 1:51 pm
      • Reply

      LOL Glynis. ‘Scarborough it is’. She’s lucky her brother’s bound to be kind enough to send her to live with family. If I were him, I’d send her to the Outer Hebrides 😀

      I can’t wait to start on the one you and Rita suggested! You were both so kind to share that idea with me. It’s such a sweet one, and even more precious given where we were brainstorming about it :))

      You’ll need to steel yourself for a rough ride when you read the one I’m working on now. Torture galore (but it does start with sweetness). I hope the sweet chapters at the start & at the end can make up for the bit in the middle.

      Thanks for reading and commenting and I can’t wait to meet you at Pemberley again!!

        • Glynis on March 25, 2019 at 5:11 pm
        • Reply

        Oh heavens Joana! Thanks for the warning. Now if you can just make the sweet bits at the beginning and end almost meet in the middle????? I will stock up on chocolate, ice cream, wine and tissues just in case 🙂

          • Joana Starnes on March 25, 2019 at 5:53 pm
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          I’ll tug & pull & stick & sew and we’ll see what happens 😀
          But do stock up just in case 😉

    • Terri on March 25, 2019 at 1:52 am
    • Reply

    Now what we need is a detailed description of her face when she gets the news.

      • Joana Starnes on March 25, 2019 at 1:56 pm
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      That would be SO fun to write, Terri 😀

      I’m thinking changes of colour in the whole visible spectrum, followed by some screeches beyond the human perception range. Hopefully there won’t be any dogs or bats anywhere near her. We can’t have any fictitious creatures harmed in the writing of that scene (apart from Caroline, that is 😉 ).

    • Davida on March 25, 2019 at 6:09 am
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    I sincerely hope Darcy’s plans will go as we all hope and Miss Bingley will be disappointed once again!

    Can’t wait!

      • Joana Starnes on March 25, 2019 at 1:57 pm
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      Thanks for reading and commenting, Davida. Oh, absolutely, we can’t have it any other way!!

    • Maureen on March 25, 2019 at 6:22 am
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    Great scene! What a crushing blow Caroline is in for when Darcy makes haste back to Netherfield. 🙂

      • Joana Starnes on March 25, 2019 at 2:02 pm
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      Thanks, Maureen! What a crushing blow indeed :))

      I wonder what she would’ve said if she caught another part of Lady Catherine’s monologue. Like what she had to say about her conversation with Elizabeth or better still, that she fully expected him to marry Anne. That must have dented even Caroline’s self-confidence, given Anne’s fortune and family connections. But then Darcy couldn’t have hastened back to Netherfield if he had the Regency equivalent of a cat fight on his hands (or two fainting females), and that will never do 😉

    • Sheryl on March 25, 2019 at 6:44 am
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    Gripping. As ever, we’ll done! Thank you.

      • Joana Starnes on March 25, 2019 at 2:03 pm
      • Reply

      Thank *you* Sheryl, for stopping by to read the vignette. I’m so glad you liked it!

    • J. W. Garrett on March 25, 2019 at 9:11 am
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    So good to see a post from you, Joana. Hope you are doing well. I certainly enjoyed this post on frenemies. Oh, poor Caroline. She is so full of herself. Bless her heart. OMG! This is hilarious being in her head. I wouldn’t want to live there but I don’t mind visiting occasionally. Is this after Lady Catherine visited Elizabeth at Longbourn and she refused Lady C’s demands to never become engaged to Darcy? This would then give him the hope he needed. I assume Bingley is either already engaged to Jane or about to be. And I assume that after his aunt’s visit to Longbourn, that Darcy will soon head there himself and offer for Elizabeth. Poor Caroline will throw a fit then for sure. But we should not assume. I will wait patiently and see what you have up your sleeve. You always surprise me. Blessings, dear Lady.

      • Joana Starnes on March 25, 2019 at 3:15 pm
      • Reply

      Thank *you* Jeanne, for all your support and this wonderful comment, and extra-special thanks to you and Nicole for ‘Nefarious’. Whenever there’s a new chapter posted, it’s THE best pick-me-up!! It’s such an amazing story and I can’t wait to see how much more Darcy has to mess things up till everything falls into place. Can’t wait till it’s released!! I have to have this in paperback, it’s a book I’ll re-read again and again.

      LOL That’s so funny, ” I wouldn’t want to live there but I don’t mind visiting occasionally.” Me too, especially when Caroline goes off on one. Yes, that was the idea, that the scenes happened after Lady Cat’s visit to Longbourn to browbeat Elizabeth into promising she wouldn’t become engaged to Darcy, and the note Caroline scowled at over breakfast was from her brother announcing his engagement. I wouldn’t want to be Caroline’s lady’s maid when she finds out who Darcy proposed to. (Actually, I wouldn’t want to be Caroline’s lady’s maid even if I were paid Caroline’s weight in gold. No amount of money’s worth that hassle).

      But I should not wish to excite your anticipation ;). This is not part of the WIP, just a little vignette with frenemies in mind. Thanks again for your kind words, I shall look forward to surprising you with the WIP plot! Hope I’ll manage to. Blessings to you too and thanks for everything!

    • Carol hoyt on March 25, 2019 at 9:49 am
    • Reply

    I can actually feel a little sorry for Caroline with her puffed up expectations.
    Reality will soon hit her! Hopefully we will be there to watch that piece of bread crumble as well!

      • Joana Starnes on March 25, 2019 at 3:19 pm
      • Reply

      LOL “Hopefully we will be there to watch that piece of bread crumble as well!” Thanks for the giggles, Carol!
      I know what you mean, I almost felt sorry for her myself as I was setting her up for disappointment. But not quite sorry enough :))
      Have a good week and thanks for reading.

    • Lynn chat on March 25, 2019 at 10:06 am
    • Reply

    Georgiana handled that perfectly. Drown out her aunts tirade with music!

      • Joana Starnes on March 25, 2019 at 3:20 pm
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      Because nothing else will do 😀

      Thanks for reading, Lynn, I’m so glad you liked it!

    • Carole in Canada on March 25, 2019 at 12:49 pm
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    Oh yes, Darcy returned to her…I must have missed the knock on the door when he arrived to see her! Seeing how she crumbled her bread when receiving Charles’ letter about Jane, just think what she will ‘crumble’ when she receives the news about Darcy heading off to Longbourn! I can hear the screeches now!

    Hopefully, we will not have to wait too long for your work-in-progress?

      • Joana Starnes on March 25, 2019 at 3:29 pm
      • Reply

      Hehe Carole, I can’t help thinking there’ll be some breakages on the day :D. Perfume bottles, vases, something. Caroline strikes me as the ‘throwing things’ kind of gal 😀

      Thanks so much re the WIP! I still have a few big scenes to write (along the lines of the ‘Dutiful Daughter’ showdowns) but with any luck they’ll come to me sooner rather than later. Thanks and all the best!

    • Mary on March 25, 2019 at 3:34 pm
    • Reply

    Dear Joana,

    Hope all’s well in your corner of the world!!

    Poor Caroline!!! I loved her initial reaction to the news of the impending union between Charles and Jane. You could practically see the cogs in her brain turning slowly as she was persuaded to pretend happiness at these glad tidings…..
    Then the happenstance of Lady C’s appearance and the fulfillment of all her hopes and desires,with her own imminent betrothal…….!!
    Yes,poor Caroline!!!
    Loved this post,this snapshot into Caroline’s thoughts and am grateful not to bear witness to her reaction when she realises her hopes are all for nought.

    Thank you!!!
    Kindest regards,
    Mary.

      • Joana Starnes on March 25, 2019 at 6:00 pm
      • Reply

      Thanks so much for this lovely message, Mary! It’s wonderful to chat with you again and I hope all’s well in your corner of the world too.
      I’m so glad you liked the vignette. Caroline is such an easy target, and it’s great fun to poke the orange bear and run 😀
      Have a good week and a warm and sunny spring!

    • Meg on March 25, 2019 at 5:10 pm
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    Very promising indeed! I look forward for the complete novel.

      • Joana Starnes on March 25, 2019 at 6:06 pm
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      I’m so glad you liked it, Meg! I don’t think this will get into the book I’m writing at the moment (Caroline is far away from the action, I’m pleased to say 😉 ). I just wrote it as a little ‘Frenemies’ vignette. But who knows when it might come in handy…

    • Kimberly on March 25, 2019 at 5:55 pm
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    Loved it! Thank you!

      • Joana Starnes on March 25, 2019 at 6:07 pm
      • Reply

      Thank *you*, Kimberly! I’m so glad you liked it!

    • Betty Campbell Madden on March 25, 2019 at 6:58 pm
    • Reply

    Wonderful! Another Joana Starnes’ story is on my not-to-be-missed list. Thank you.

      • Joana Starnes on March 30, 2019 at 6:12 pm
      • Reply

      Thank *you*, Betty! I’m so glad you liked the vignette!

    • Mary Coble on March 25, 2019 at 10:16 pm
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    I am sure Elizabeth will be up to handling whatever frenemy you send her way. The fun will be in seeing how you do it.
    Thanks for this short – I can so picture Caroline’s smug face as she imagines herself mistress as she looks around Darcy House. Oh her disappointment will be so well deserved!

      • Joana Starnes on March 30, 2019 at 6:19 pm
      • Reply

      LOL Mary, I think so, too! Poor Caroline, she has no idea who she’s up against.

      I’m so glad you liked this little bit of fun with ‘poking the orange bear’. Thanks for reading and for leaving this lovely comment!

    • Rose Drew on March 26, 2019 at 1:32 pm
    • Reply

    Loved your little look at the Bingley shrew!

    I am always amused by the assumption that if Elizabeth was out of the way, Darcy would immediately turn to Caroline (or Anne, if Lady Catherine is the assumer). Darcy has known Caroline for several years without moving in her direction but still she assumes!

      • Joana Starnes on March 30, 2019 at 6:23 pm
      • Reply

      Thanks, Rose! I’m so glad you enjoyed my take on the Bingley shrew. The poor deluded woman, she must be SO full of herself to imagine she’s winning. It’s such fun to take people like her and Lady Cat for a ride!

  1. I would almost feel compassion for Caroline if she weren’t such a self-involved termagant! She only hears what she wants to hear and only believes what she wants to believe. If she was so angry at her brother’s engagement to Jane, just wait until Darcy and Elizabeth’s is announced!! I feel sorry for both Louisa and for Caroline’s maid…and anyone in her path for the next fortnight!!

    Thanks for this wonderful excerpt, Joana. I needed a good laugh this morning, and this snippet served wonderfully.

    Warmly,
    Susanne 🙂

      • Joana Starnes on March 30, 2019 at 6:26 pm
      • Reply

      Thank *you* Susanne for this lovely comment! I’m so glad the vignette made you giggle. It worked both ways, your comment put such a grin on my face! Thanks again and have a good weekend!

  2. Joana, that was perfect! So much fun and exactly what I needed this morning.

      • Joana Starnes on March 30, 2019 at 6:28 pm
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      So happy to hear that, Elizabeth! Thanks ever so much!!

    • Anji on April 22, 2019 at 4:41 pm
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    Just having a catchup on AV and came across this little gem! Thanks so much for sharing it with us, Joana. Oh the scenes the ending conjures in the imagination! Caroline’s reaction when: she realises Darcy has endorsed Charles and Jane’s engagement, Darcy returns to Netherfield and Darcy and Elizabeth’s engagement to name just a few!

    • Sheila L. Majczan on April 25, 2019 at 9:24 pm
    • Reply

    I don’t know how I missed this. I certainly would not ignore any of your works on purpose. Can’t wait to read the rest. I am so smiling at the thought of just how Caro is going to react when she finds out what Lady Catherine is making all the fuss about. I am, of course, Lady Catwitch has been at Longborn in that pretty little wilderness at the one side. Thankfully Jane is engaged so that worry taken care of. Thanks for sharing.

    • Michelle H on May 4, 2019 at 12:18 pm
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    I can’t believe I almost missed this entirely! I’m depressingly behind in reading my blog emails. Anyway…yipes! I can sometimes….some..times…feel sorry for Louisa being her sister. But she was a constant party to the digs, snipey comments, tittering, downright nastiness when Caroline was fully in her element going after Elizabeth. Not to mention the Bennets. So, no. I don’t really feel sorry for her. Just wouldn’t want to be her. Caroline should listen to her sister and calm down and go with the inevitable. Louisa is smarter in this instance. Too bad she didn’t use her smarts for good in the beginning. But she doesn’t have to worry about her lifestyle quite as much as Caro. She has Mr. Hurst to fall back on. Poor girl. When Caroline blows up, and I can almost imagine a person literally blowing up, I wouldn’t want to be within 5 miles of her. I can imagine cows mooing in distress, chickens running for their lives, the birds fleeing the trees, and the horses bucking and screaming in the stables. Now, seriously. Back in those days you could so easily be committed to an asylum for the reactions she will no doubt have when she learns that Darcy is to wed Elizabeth.

    Now, about that WIP. Woo hoo!

    • Sheila L. Majczan on April 8, 2021 at 4:38 pm
    • Reply

    I am so looking forward to reading this story. Best wishes on its completion and release. Smirking here…knowing that Caro is in for some surprises. Thanks for sharing.

  1. […] where I poked fun at Miss Bingley. If you haven’t read them, these links will take you there: An Eventful Morning and Miss Bingley’s Last […]

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