An Endeavour to be Worthy – Chapter 1 and Cover Reveal

Hi all! I know you didn’t expect a new book from me so soon, but guess what!! Release day is December 14th and you can purchase the Kindle or read on KU here!  I’m now busy writing the second book of the series (yes, it’s meant to  be a series and I have ideas for most of the books at this point), so hopefully, you like the original characters I’ve brought into the mix as well as our old canon favorites 🙂

Anyway, without further ado, let’s check out Chapter 1!

Chapter 1

“Lizzy!” Without pausing to curtsey, Amelia rushed forward to kiss Elizabeth’s cheek and embrace her. “I am so pleased you could come, but where is Jane? Was she not to join us as well?”

“She is with the Gardiners on Gracechurch Street.”

“What? Why? I thought she was excited at spending Christmastide with us.”

Elizabeth took Amelia’s hands. “She was quite excited, but Mama has been pressing her towards the young man who let Netherfield Park.”

Her cousin’s cupid’s bow lips pursed, and her deep brown eyes flashed with a look Lizzy knew well. “I beg you not to call that woman Mama. I may not remember your mother, but from the stories I have been told and her portrait, she was a lady of beauty and, I am certain, a lady of sense. Your father’s wife possesses naught to recommend her but her physical beauty and, if you ask me, her demeanour renders her most unappealing.”

She sighed and squeezed Amelia’s hands. “I cannot disagree with you, Cousin, but she has been married to Papa since I was five—”

“And you do not remember your mother.” Amelia huffed, and her tiny figure sagged a little. “Forgive me. We have spoken of this often enough, but I cannot accept that you have not one memory of my aunt.”

“I do have the stories my grandparents have shared as well as an image and feeling I cannot quite remember with perfect clarity.” She opened her reticule and withdrew the piece she never allowed parted from her. “And Papa gave me a miniature he had painted of my mother. He had copies made for Jane and me that he gave us on our birthdays.”

“Mrs. Bennet allowed that?” Amelia’s eyebrows were raised and her eyes wide. She was well aware through their letters how rarely Papa spoke of her mother, not to mention defying Mama’s wish that his late wife never be spoken of at Longbourn.

“Mama was not told. Papa brought us into the library to give us our gift. Did you know he keeps his miniature in his desk drawer? I have caught him staring at it more than once since I found it.” She had been searching for a piece of paper when she happened upon the likeness of her mother, nestled in a soft piece of heavy velvet to protect it from damage.

“Lizzy!” Before she could react, strong arms wrapped around her and lifted her in the air. “Little Busy Lizzy. Grandmamma said you would come to stay, but I never thought your father would truly part with you for so long. Where is Janey? I thought she was to arrive with you.” Why could Nicholas never greet her without startling her and calling her that ridiculous name?

“Mrs. Bennet is forcing her to pursue some young man,” said Amelia with a hand to her hip. “So, she has forsaken us to stay with the Gardiners.”

A bark of laughter escaped before Lizzy could stop it. “Forsaken? Really, Amelia? Is that not an exaggeration?” Her cousin had always allowed her emotions to rule her sensibilities. Though a petite young lady, Amelia’s fiery temperament could overwhelm even the tallest of gentlemen.

“I think not,” said Amelia. “Over the past few years, your father has so seldom allowed you to visit us. We should like to see both you and Jane. We have missed you. Grandmamma and Grandpapa have missed you too.” Amelia glanced at her brother then lifted an eyebrow. “Anyhow, you wrote of two gentlemen who resided at Netherfield, yet you never mentioned their names.”

Nicholas chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest. “Can you not imagine why? If we are not acquainted, we would ask all our friends of their characters—do all in our power to determine if they are worthy of our beloved cousins. Would we not?”

“I would be mortified,” said Elizabeth while shaking her head. “’Tis bad enough Mama proclaims her plans for Jane to marry one of the gentleman with no regard for who hears. I do not even wish to discuss Lydia and Kitty’s behaviour when they came to call. I am certain this gentleman’s sisters and friend persuaded him to depart Netherfield for London, and while those ladies are affected and condescending, I cannot blame them after the spectacle put on by Mama at the ball. When she learnt of his departure, Mama rushed to send Jane to the Gardiners in the hopes Jane will call on the sisters and be thrown into the gentleman’s company again by happenstance.”

Nicholas rolled his eyes. “Ah, the most common scheme of the matchmaking mamas: the hopeful call. Well, never fear. We shall entertain you and make Janey green with envy that she missed out on passing Christmas with us. Come, I was sent to the hall with explicit instructions to bring Lizzy to the drawing room.” Her cousin held out his arm for her to take.

Before Lizzy set her hand upon her elder cousin’s forearm, she pinched the back of his shoulder. “I thought we agreed you would cease calling me Busy Lizzy.”

He laughed, his green eyes twinkling, as he brushed a shock of his sandy brown hair from his face. “Why would I ever do such a thing?”

“Oh, I cannot imagine. Maybe because it is embarrassing. You do remember when you addressed me as such before Lady Jersey?”

“You departed that morning for Longbourn,” said Amelia from just behind them. “You missed Grandmamma haranguing Nicholas for doing so after you left.”

“Amelia would come to the stables to giggle at my expense while I cleaned stalls.” Nicholas’s tone was far from amused.

“Grandpapa made you clean stalls? How did I never hear of this?” It was just the news Amelia would have included in one of her letters. They were as close as a brother and sister could be, but the two took great pleasure in teasing one another and regaling Lizzy of their successes. Amelia had said naught of him receiving such punishment.

“Did I not? I am not sure how I forgot to make mention of it.”

Nicholas brought her to the green drawing room and ushered her inside. “Look who has joined us.”

“Oh, Lizzybeth!” Her grandmother stood and clasped her hands. “I am so thrilled you could come.”

Without hesitation, Lizzy rushed forward and let her grandmother wrap her in a warm embrace. She had missed this—she had missed them. Why had she let an entire year pass without visiting them? London was not a long journey, and Grandpapa would not have hesitated to send his carriage for her. He always had in the past. “I am happy to be here, Gran. Forgive me for not coming sooner.” She turned and fell into her grandfather’s waiting arms.

“Do not worry. We know your father well. I am certain he was quite insistent to keep you with him, and who could blame him?” Her grandfather drew back with a loving expression. “You resemble your mother, and you have her wit. Surely, he appreciates your good sense and humour. After all, he wed a lady with little sense and her daughters have little to recommend them in intelligence.”

“Hugh,” said her grandmother, swatting his arm. “You should not speak so of her sisters.”

As he stepped back, he shrugged. “Have I told a falsehood?”

Elizabeth sighed and took his hand, patting the top. “Unfortunately, you have not.” She could lie, but what purpose would it serve?

“Now, what is this nonsense of Janey staying with the Gardiners,” said Grandmamma, gesturing to the sofa. After taking the place next to her grandfather, Elizabeth allowed him to take her hand and hold it securely in his. He had always enjoyed holding her hand and would hold Amelia’s or Jane’s hand if they were beside him. He was a staid, albeit affectionate man. Her grandparents never withheld their small displays of their affection—no one could doubt they wed for love and loved their family fiercely.

“Mrs. Bennet is pushing Jane towards the latest gentleman leasing Netherfield,” said Amelia.

“Is she now.” Grandpapa’s bushy eyebrows drew together. “What has your father to say on the matter?”

“He laughs and ridicules her antics, but he has not indicated an unwillingness to approve of the gentleman.” Papa never took his wife seriously. He would also benefit if Jane wed Mr. Bingley. As much as he cared for them, she would be one less daughter in need of gowns, ribbons, and other such frivolities.

“Hmm,” said her grandfather. “Does this young man show an interest in our Janey?”

Nicholas scoffed and crossed his ankle over his knee. “What gentleman has not shown an interest? If we were to take her to a ball or introduce her to London society, she would be surrounded by her choice of suitors in a trice…as would Lizzy.”

“Yes, but Henry would never wish to take part in those circles. A suitor with a nearby estate would suit him well. He would not need to be bothered with the events of London nor would he need to deal with the calls Janey would receive as a member of our family. Janey would also remain nearby after she was wed.”

“Which would suit Mama.”

Her grandmother narrowed her eyes. “Mrs. Bennet never seems to have a suitor for you. Why does she take such an interest in Janey?”

“She has always boasted of Jane being the most beautiful of her daughters. This gentleman has five thousand a year and is considered amiable by all our acquaintance. If Lydia had expressed her admiration for him, perhaps Mama would have pushed Lydia in his direction, despite her being too young to be out.” Maybe Grandmamma would not notice that she skipped over the suitor query.

“Lydia is not quite thirteen. Besides, you said Lydia would never accept a husband unless he wore a red coat,” said Amelia.

“That is true, and even at her tender age, she has been insufferable since the militia quartered themselves in Meryton. She has begged to be allowed to walk into town on her own.”

Grandmamma pressed a hand to her chest. “Mrs. Bennet allowed that child to seek out officers?”

“Papa sent Lydia to her bedchamber, but Mama was put out. She saw no harm in letting Lydia see the officers. She believes Lydia wants to admire them from afar and does not understand that Lydia would flirt with them if afforded the opportunity.”

Her grandmother shifted closer to the edge of her chair. “Lizzy, you have mentioned in the past of Mrs. Bennet pushing Janey towards this gentleman or that. Nothing has ever come of them, so we never worried, but what of you? Why does she not do the same for you?” She could have groaned aloud. Her grandmother was supposed to forget.

“Come, come. What warty, foul-smelling creature has Mrs. Bennet deemed appropriate for you?” asked Nicholas with a wide grin. He was insufferable.

Elizabeth bit her lower cheek and looked through the window to Hyde Park across the street. What she would not give to take a ramble after being locked away in the carriage for the journey here!

“Lizzy?”

Her shoulders slumped. Grandmamma’s tone brooked no opposition. “Mama pressed me to accept the proposal of the heir of Longbourn.”

“She what?” cried Grandpapa. “Why, he is no more than a parson with no connexions and no fortune until he inherits Longbourn. Moreover, I had the father investigated when I learnt of the entailment, and when he died, I have followed the son. You, the wife of Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s parson. It is not to be borne. I would never approve of such an unequal union—and your father should know better than to allow so much as a hint of an engagement without my approval?

“When I refused the proposal, Papa informed Mama he would not give his consent.” She frowned and gave her grandfather’s hand a wiggle. “Why do we require your consent to wed? I thought Papa’s would be sufficient.”

“We shall speak of it after supper. I wish to know of this gentleman Mrs. Bennet has set her cap at for our Janey.”

“So, Lizzy, warty and foul-smelling?”

She let out a long exhale. “Mr. Collins was not warty.”

Nicholas chuckled and rubbed his hands together. “So, he was foul-smelling. Excellent.”

“No, you do not,” said Grandmamma. “I am certain Lizzy does not wish to be teased over a proposal she neither sought nor desired. You will leave her be. Do you hear me?”

Nicholas flinched at their grandmother’s stern tone. “Yes, Grandmamma.”

At a tiny giggle, Grandmamma turned her pointed finger on Amelia. “And, I want to hear naught of you teasing either of them.”

Amelia rolled her eyes. “Nicholas, I would most definitely tease, but not Lizzy. Mrs. Bennet prefers Jane over Lizzy and her own daughter Lydia to them both. I am not surprised she chose Lizzy to guarantee her a home after Mr. Bennet’s death. Why are you?”

Her grandmother drew herself up in her seat, her spine stiff while Grandpapa lowered his chin and looked at her over his spectacles.

“She says I am headstrong and foolish. Jane could not be so beautiful for nothing, and Lydia is so agreeable—”

“You are beautiful as well, Lizzy,” said Amelia. “If she knows you resemble your mother, could she not be taking her jealousy of your mother out on you?”

With a start, Lizzy drew her eyebrows down a little. “She has never mentioned my mother to me.” Though Amelia could be right. Her mother was never mentioned at Longbourn except within her father’s library.

“Amelia, that is enough.” Grandfather squeezed her hand.

“But Mrs. Bennet is awful to Lizzy, yet she still calls her ‘Mama.’ She begged me not to mention what she has told me in her letters, but Mrs. Bennet oft times will purchase a new gown for Jane or her own daughters while not doing so for Lizzy.”

“I have no need for new gowns when Grandmamma spoils me so.”

Amelia stood and marched right up to Lizzy, who clenched her skirt in her free hand. Her cousin had never betrayed her trust. Why was she doing so now? “What of the gown Grandmamma gave you for your birthday?”

“Amelia,” she said, tears making her vision cloudy. “Pray, stop.”

“What happened to the gown?” Her grandmother stood and sat on her opposite side, turning her chin so she could not escape her grandmother’s insistent gaze. “What happened to the gown, Lizzy?”

“I hoped to wear it to the assembly, but when Mrs. Bennet saw it, she made me wear a different gown, then gave it to Lydia.”

“Who was not even out and tore it before the night ended, did she not?”

She could not look at Amelia while she nodded. “It was too tight in the chest, and the seam gave under her arm while she danced. I tried to repair it, but…”

“Oh, dearest,” said her grandmother. “I planned to take you to Madame Morisot for gowns on the morrow, so do not worry about that one. The pattern was more appropriate for the country than London anyhow.”

“Grandmamma, I do not require new gowns.” She scrunched her nose. “You know how I detest fittings.”

“Well, that is too bad since I have already scheduled the appointment. Amelia helped me select fabric for you, and we delivered it to Madame Morisot, who has your measurements that Jane sent me for your birthday present.”

“You will love the patterns I selected. Grandmamma did.”

“See, all you need do is let Madame ensure the fit is precise, and you will be ready to attend the events and concerts we have planned as well as the Twelfth Night ball.”

“You need not go to such trouble. I am simply pleased to be with you again.” Her grandparents usually spent Christmas in Yorkshire at Richmond Castle. Had they changed their plans to accommodate her visit?

“We would have attended balls and parties in Yorkshire had we remained, but we have a number of friends in town. We shall simply be in London instead of Yorkshire for Christmastide then remain for the Season. Perhaps we shall find a wife for Nicholas this year.”

Nicholas groaned and slouched in his chair. “I shall do so when I am ready.”

“I am certain some young lady is in search of a young viscount for a husband,” said Elizabeth. Thank goodness the attention of the room had turned to someone else!

Her grandmother nudged Elizabeth’s shoulder with her own. “Particularly, such a handsome young viscount.”

He wagged a finger in her direction. “Careful, Cousin. You may come to regret your teasing ways.”

“I have it on good authority that I am merely tolerable, despite what my adoring relations may claim.” She glanced at Amelia. “I am certain to remain a spinster, embroidering cushions and teaching Jane’s ten children to play the pianoforte very ill indeed.”

Grandpapa smiled and patted her hand. “I must say, Lizzybeth, if a young man said you are merely tolerable, he must be a simpleton indeed.”

Mr. Darcy was no simpleton, but his insult at the assembly stung more than it should from such a trifling acquaintance. His constant staring caused an odd sort of tremble in her belly. Why had she reacted so whenever she was in his presence? “He is prideful and the most disagreeable gentleman I have had the misfortune of meeting.”

“More disagreeable than this heir Mrs. Bennet was adamant you wed?” asked Nicholas.

“Mr. Collins is a simpleton, cloying, and trying to bear in company. I suppose one could say he has a certain amount of improper pride. He insisted I would accept him upon his second application since the established custom of my sex is to reject a man on the first application.”

Nicholas let out a great guffaw. “An imbecile indeed.”

“You should have heard his reason for marrying, not to mention, the qualities he felt recommended him because my portion is so small. After all, it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made to me.” She said the last in the oily tone Collins had employed while restraining a shudder.

Her grandfather rose from the sofa and started across the room.

“Grandpapa, where are you going?”

“After all you have told me, I require a brandy. I believe you could use one as well.”

“Hugh, young ladies do not drink brandy.”

Elizabeth bit her cheek as she exchanged a look with Nicholas. She, Nicholas, and her grandfather had a tradition of sitting in his study and drinking a glass of brandy after supper. Her grandmother knew of her joining them in the study, but little of their conversations or that Grandpapa gave her brandy while they spoke.

“Come, Lizzybeth,” said her grandmother. “I am certain you wish to refresh yourself before dinner. By now, Tate has your trunk unpacked and a bath prepared. She does know your preferences so well.”

She kissed her grandmother on the cheek. “I can see myself to my chambers, Grandmamma.”

“I shall walk with her,” said Amelia, linking her arm with Elizabeth’s. Before she could utter another word, her cousin dragged her up the stairs while she spoke of her excitement to spend the next six weeks with her.

It was good to be back at Richmond House. While Longbourn had always been home, her father’s house had ceased to be that for several years. Richmond Castle and Richmond House were for all intents and purposes, home. This house, and moreover, her family here brought a peace to her heart that had been missing for some time. It was indeed good to be back.