Welcome to our epistolary retelling of Pride & Prejudice! Jane Austen’s original version of the story, First Impressions, was told entirely in letters, so it seemed like a great group project. We’ll be posting a new letter every Wednesday.
Caroline’s private diary
October 14, 1812
Mr Darcy is to be married. My foolish brother gave me the news, pleased as could be, his eyes shining with excitement. As if he thought I would be happy as well! He went on and on about a double wedding, and how happy he was that he and his friend would be marrying sisters.
Then, to add insult to injury, he asked me to help him plan the wedding.
What world does Charles live in, to think that I am prepared to help Mr. Darcy marry into that scheming family? Does he not realise that he has ruined all my well placed plans? That after everything I have done to secure Mr. Darcy’s attention, my brother has ruined everything because he fell in love with a pretty face?
What about me? Why has no one thought about what this means to me? Not even Louisa, who simply rolled her eyes and said now we have to host that upstart all the time, whenever she decided to visit her sister Jane. I stared at my sister when she said it. Did she have no inkling of how horrible I felt? How humiliated that someone like Eliza Bennet could take my place?
Since the very first day I met Mr. Darcy, I have been determined to marry him. I remember that day so well. The term was over, and the boys were free for the summer. For some reason, Charles brought Mr. Darcy with him from boarding school to Scarborough. Darcy was in his last year of school, and Charles was thirteen. It was a sunny day after many days of rain. Birds were singing away. Then Mr. Darcy appeared. He was the handsomest gentleman I had ever set eyes on. He was perfect in every way. His arrogant demeanor was a flawless example of a true gentleman.
After he left to go to Pemberley, I confided in my brother, telling him I was going to marry Mr. Darcy. He laughed and said that it would take a great deal of effort to do so. I needed to work hard at my accomplishments first. This meant I had to practice my pianoforte constantly, study modern languages, and excel at drawing. I must also learn to paint tables, cover screens and net purses. Only then would I stand a chance with someone like him.
Since then, I have done everything my brother suggested. I excelled at all the accomplishments a young lady could have. I have poured over fashion plates to ensure that I knew exactly what the latest fashions in London were. I have watched Mr. Darcy and taken his manners as a model for my behavior. I have done everything possible to mold myself into the kind of young lady Mr. Darcy could admire.
In addition, I worked on my deportment and acquired some other small but necessary skills. I was taught by my governesses and at school that the way to a gentleman‘s heart was to flatter him and deliver small compliments whenever the opportunity arose. I studied ways to show my admiration without being obvious.
And I succeeded. Since I came out and was introduced to society, Mr. Darcy has always danced with me at every ball we have attended together. We have been in agreement about practically everything. Mr. Darcy seems to enjoy my compliments. He even invited me and my sister to Pemberley whenever Charles was invited. I was further encouraged by the fact that he was resisting his aunt’s pressure to marry Miss Ann de Bourgh.
Then came the crowning moment that brought all my plans to fruition. I finally convinced Charles to set up an estate in the country. My aim in doing so was to invite Mr. Darcy and show him what a proficient mistress of an estate I was. I was ready to take on Pemberley, and I wanted to prove it. It was the final test, and I intended to pass it with flying colors.
Then dear Charles ruined everything. When he foolishly fell in love with a pretty face, he unraveled Papa’s plans of turning Charles into a gentleman. In fact, he could not have chosen a worse family. Noisy, unladylike, and unaccomplished. Every single one of them. With neither grace nor talent. Jane is the best of them, which does not say much. At least she was a well mannered, shy miss who could easily be managed. The rest of them were vulgar nobodies. They are everything I had ever been taught not to be.
As for Miss Eliza Bennet, I have never met anyone so ill suited to the dignity of a superior gentleman such as Mr Darcy. She is so coarse and wild, traipsing around the countryside without a chaperon, showing up splattered with mud, her hair all blown around like a mop. Imagine my horror when Mr Darcy proclaimed that her eyes were brightened by the exercise!
How had his standards sunk so low? How could he possibly be remotely interested in a young lady who had no accomplishments whatsoever? Her piano playing was appalling. She plays the way I played when I was twelve years old! Apart from that, the only thing she is good at is reading. What use is that? What good is reading when a lady has a whole estate to look after? She is not even worthy of being called a lady. She has done nothing to deserve it.
All the years I spent perfecting these accomplishments, and then he chooses a woman who has none of them. And now he is planning to marry her!
I did my best to put a stop to it. My purpose in removing Charles from Meryton after the Netherfield ball was aimed at both my brother and Mr. Darcy. I thought by removing them both that I would put an end to this mortifying infatuation for completely unsuitable women.
Sadly, I discovered that Mr Darcy, like many gentlemen before him, is incapable of resisting the trap of falling in love. How bitterly disappointing it is to discover that my hero has feet of clay and is incapable of distinguishing between a well-bred young lady and some insignificant nobody from the countryside who has neither looks nor distinction!
I will help my brother with his wedding. I will show him that I can bear such disappointment with fortitude and dignity. And I will make Mr Darcy regret that he has made such an imprudent choice by demonstrating what a true lady is like. And then I will go to London to find myself a gentleman worthy of my attention. A proper gentleman who knows the difference.
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