P&P The Untold Stories: Mr. Collins at Longbourn

A visitor comes to Longbourn

November 18, 1811

Mr. Collins was punctual to his time, and was received with great politeness by the whole family. Mr. Bennet indeed said little; but the ladies were ready enough to talk, and Mr. Collins seemed neither in need of encouragement, nor inclined to be silent himself. – Pride & Prejudice

After re-reading the letter from Mr. Collins, the son of her father’s estranged cousin, Lizzy was uneasy. She agreed with Papa when he described the man as a mixture of servility and self-importance—an unusual combination if ever there was one—but that description was their only point of agreement. Although her father was prepared to be entertained by his cousin, this was the same man who held the future of the Bennet women in his hands. After Papa’s death, and with little notice, William Collins could turn the whole family out on the road and take possession of Longbourn and its contents. His visit should not be taken lightly.

When she had learned of the parson’s impending visit, Lizzy had hoped that Mr. Collins would be sensible, but if his letter was any indication, that was not the case. At the very least, he was an oddity. And what did he mean when he wrote that he was offering the Bennet family an olive branch? What form would such a gesture take?

Upon arrival, the newly ordained Mr. Collins was greeted with great civility by all, including Mrs. Bennet, especially after he had complimented her on the beauty of her daughters: “I have heard much of their beauty, but, in this instance, fame has fallen short of the truth.” In Lizzy’s mind, the praise was excessive and puzzling. From whom would he have heard such a report? As far as Lizzy knew, the parson had never before visited Hertfordshire. If anything fell short of the truth, it was Mr. Collins’s acclamation. During dinner, whilst listening to Mr. Collins pontificate on various subjects, most particularly his esteemed patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Lizzy stifled a laugh as she thought about various travelers discussing the beauty of the Bennet sisters on the roads between Hertfordshire and Kent. With the absurdity of that notion in mind, she decided to take her father’s advice and enjoy the parson’s visit.

On that first evening, as the two eldest Bennet daughters prepared for bed, Lizzy asked her sister what she thought of Mr. Collins. She found that Jane, too, was puzzled. “I wonder what he means when he says that it is his intention to admire us? In what way will he accomplish that?”

“Perhaps he will treat us with the same deference he employs when in the company of Lady Catherine de Bourgh. He will flatter us with delicacy by suggesting elegant compliments sprinkled about at appropriate times.”

“For example?”

“‘Why Miss Bennet, I noticed how daintily you walk. You practically glide.’”

“Lizzy, do be serious.”

“‘Miss Elizabeth, I could not help but notice how you cut your meat into tiny morsels so that they fit perfectly on your fork and slide so elegantly into your mouth.’”

Although Jane laughed, she chided her sister for being unkind.

“Chastise me if you will, but I find the man ridiculous. Although Papa is pleased by the absurdity of his pronouncements, Mr. Collins is actually quite tedious. He does not even read novels.”

“He certainly would not be the only person to look down on those who do.”

“I think his lack of interest in anything other than religious treatises indicates an absence of imagination and intelligence.”

In nodding, Jane acknowledged that she did as well. “However, we must be considerate. Not only is he our father’s cousin, but he is also heir to Longbourn. I would like to think that when Papa dies, he will be kind to us by allowing us to stay in our home.”

Lizzy could see that tolerance was the best approach to a man with a good education but little understanding. “You are wiser than I am, Jane. I am too quick to speak my mind without taking into consideration the effects of what I say. I should hold my breath to cool my porridge.”

“I do not think you have to worry too much about saying the wrong thing as Mr. Collins rarely stops talking, and when he does, he does not listen to what is being said.”

“Now it is you who is being unkind.”

“Not unkind, just truthful,” Jane said as she placed the hairbrush on the table. But then a look of alarm crossed her face. “Lizzy, please tell me that Mr. Collins did not come to Longbourn with the intention of finding a wife.”

The concern on Lizzy’s face matched that of Jane’s, but then she smiled. “Fortunately, being the second eldest and less blessed as far as beauty is concerned, I have nothing to worry about. However, you—”

“Do not even think about finishing that sentence,” Jane warned.

“I wonder if Mr. Bingley knew he had competition for your affections if he would immediately propose marriage.”

“And I wonder when you are going to hold your breath to cool your porridge,” Jane said before snuffing out the candle. As she climbed into bed, she warned her bed companion, “Not another word about Mr. Collins and me, Lizzy, or you will be the one to be teased. I shall tell Mr. Collins that I suffer from an incurable disease and that he should make you the object of his attention.”

“What is that you are saying, Jane? I cannot understand you. I am already half asleep.”

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