Bingley looks back on his time with Jane Bennet
February 8, 1812
Charles Bingley lingered at the breakfast table over a cup of coffee that had grown cold long ago. Although the newspaper from London was open in front of him, he had not read a word. His heart and mind were engaged elsewhere. Closing his eyes, he could see Jane Bennet’s face looking up at him serenely as they danced. Just one glance from her was enough to leave him completely speechless. Charles Bingley, speechless? That was something new! Her eyes were so bright and completely without pretense; her gloved hand in his, light as a feather. She had no idea how alluringly beautiful she was. Jane truly was an angel.
He knew he had a tendency to be too impetuous, to speak before thinking, and her sweet, gentle nature was the perfect counterbalance. Once when she was sitting beside him, he had started to open his mouth to make some rash pronouncement, but she had placed her hand ever so gently on his arm for just a second. Although her touch had been so light, as if a small bird had perched there briefly and then flown away, it was still enough to slow him down, to make him think before he spoke. In all the time they had spent together, he had never heard her say a derogatory word about anyone or pass on gossip, an activity his sisters seemed to delight in. His Jane always believed the best of everyone. His Jane. He liked the sound of that. Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly. She could have been his Jane, but he had thrown it all away.
Bingley had been so certain Jane returned his affections that it had come as a complete shock when Caroline and Darcy told him they believed she was indifferent and just paying attention to him to please her mother. How could he have read the signs so incorrectly? At first he listened only to his heart, which told him they must be wrong. Jane was not a coy, sophisticated woman like so many he had met. There was no artifice about her. The Jane he knew had more true sweetness than any other woman of his acquaintance. Although Caroline had insisted the Bennets had no connections, no status in society, and had implied Jane was not good enough for him, Bingley felt exactly the opposite—he was not good enough for her.
But what if it were true she did not care for him? Perhaps, she had already begun to favor some other gentleman as soon as he had departed. Bingley did not know what to trust—the pull of his own heart or the warnings from his sister and Darcy. His friend had never steered him wrong before, but then Darcy did not know Jane the way he did. No, he had not been wrong. She did care for him just as he cared for her.
Jane Bennet was a treasure, but he had given her up. He knew there was a distinct possibility he would regret her forever. Why did I listen to them instead of my heart? Perhaps, he should defy them all, return to Netherfield, and pay court to his angel again. He shook his head. No, he could never return. If he was right and Jane had harbored true feelings for him, she must hate him by now for abandoning her with no word. Caroline had said she would write to Jane and break it to her that they would not be returning. If his sister believed Jane did not care for him, then why had she told him she would try to let her friend down gently? Then it occurred to him —Caroline’s reasons for not wanting him to return to Netherfield could be more in her own self interest than out of concern for him.
After a few minutes of contemplation, Bingley’s head began to hurt. Putting his fingers to his temples, he closed his eyes and rubbed in a circular motion hoping to relieve the pain.
Just then, he heard a rustling of silk and detected the scent of Caroline’s perfume as she crossed the room. Bingley knew it was rude of him not to acknowledge her or stand as she entered, but he was too irritated with her to be polite. Instead, he pretended he was studying the paper so intently that he had not heard her approach.
“Louisa and I are going shopping this afternoon. You did not have other plans for the carriage, did you?” Caroline asked, as if daring him to deny her request. As her fingers drummed on the table, each tap felt like a blow to his already sensitive head.
Bingley remained silent. He was not sure with whom he was more angry—Caroline for trying to influence him or himself for believing her. Why do I still put up with her antics? In the past when he had tried to rein her in, she always pouted or did something else to make his life miserable.
“Charles, are you listening to me?” Her voice had that sharp edge to it he always took as a warning not to cross her, but this time, he ignored it.
“Caroline, have you had a letter from Miss Bennet recently?” he asked suddenly. As he waited for her answer, Bingley noticed that the only sound in the room was the ticking of the mantle clock.
“I believe I received a letter in December,” she responded slowly, examining her perfectly manicured hands.
“I remember she mentioned the possibility of visiting her aunt and uncle in Town during the winter. Did she say she was coming to London?”
Caroline looked off and to the left as if searching for an answer. “Let me see now. Hmm… No, I do not believe she mentioned any visits to Town.” She followed this with a smile that stopped short of her eyes.
When he did not respond, she continued, “Then you have no objection to our taking the carriage for the afternoon? And one of the footmen to carry our parcels.” He noticed how smoothly she had changed the subject.
Bingley was about to protest as he had planned to meet Darcy at the fencing club for a little sparring. They had both been engaging in that vigorous activity with some frequency of late. It would be inconvenient, but he could make other arrangements. Perhaps that would be easier than telling Caroline “no.” Denying her would only result in much unpleasantness. He knew at some point he would have to begin standing up to Caroline, but this was a relatively small matter. He thought it wiser to pick his battles carefully.
Caroline took his silence as assent. She nodded and stood to leave. Looking down at her dress as she smoothed out the tiny wrinkles, she said distractedly, “You must go with us to the Chadwicks’ dinner party on Tuesday. We cannot have you at home moping about.”
From the doorway, she added, “I understand their eldest daughter is very accomplished.”
“Mmm…accomplished,” he replied, but his thoughts were already back in Hertfordshire.
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Oh Charles! You should have gone with your first idea and told Caroline she couldn’t have the carriage, then told her you had no desire to meet any more so called accomplished young ladies and that you would appreciate her staying out of his life! That’s what you should have done! Then perhaps returned to Netherfield where Elizabeth would tell you about the letter and Jane’s treatment when she visited Caroline, then she’d give you the Gardiners address and all would be well!
Charles Bingley! seriously dude! if you managed your business the way you managed you private life…you would be broke! I agree with Glynis, you should have gone with your first idea…all round. Grow some gumption man!! As much as Darcy knows stuff…he knows squat about relationships, since he runs from them. And as for Caroline…she is only interested in one person…herself and the sad thing is you know this. When the time comes, I hope you are ready to beg forgiveness! Thanks Susan…a great addition!
Poor Charles! I particularly loved the detail of Jane placing her hand lightly on his arm and the metaphor of the bird. Beautiful! Thanks, Susan!
I am so upset with him, grrr! Every description of her and her actions toward him were so poetic. How could he deny her feelings? What he said was true, HE did not deserve HER. This is where I would want a MAN for Jane and not a puppy to be jerked about by the whims of his sisters and the deluded advice of his friend. Sorry, Bingley. You snooze, you lose. You had your chance. Crawl, yes, crawl back to Netherfield and pray that your angel forgives you. I’d toss you under the carriage, but it seems that Miss Bennet loves you and hopefully will give you another chance.