Advent Day Eight: Feeling the Love of Christmas

Much is often made of love and joy and peace during the Christmas season. Gifts abound, good deeds are thought of that would never come up at other times of the year, songs are sung, and we all dream of toasty evenings around the fire with a warm mug and our loved ones at hand.

What would be your perfect gift this Christmas? Something special that a loved one purchased (or made) just for you? A wonderful evening spent with someone close to you? What about a beautiful Christmas letter, written out by hand just for you and packed with kind words? Or how about a massage or a clean house?

To be PRESENT, to truly give a gift that is more than a Black Friday special or an obligatory White Elephant trophy, I try to think of what each person would actually appreciate. And, being a JAFF author, I naturally started wondering “What Would Mr Darcy Do?”

The Five Jane Austen Gifts

1: Showered with Compliments

Who do you think would most treasure a word of praise? Who would turn red and run away? I can imagine a few who would revel in it (Lady Catherine comes to mind), but I’ll throw out some quotes and let’s see what you think.

“When she was only fifteen, there was a man at my brother Gardiner’s in town so much in love with her that my sister-in-law was sure he would make her an offer before we came away. But, however, he did not. Perhaps he thought her too young. However, he wrote some verses on her, and very pretty they were.”

“And so ended his affection,” said Elizabeth impatiently. “There has been many a one, I fancy, overcome in the same way. I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love!”

“I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love,” said Darcy.

“Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But if it be only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away.” -Pride and Prejudice

Well, there was one set of opinions! She does love being contrary, doesn’t she? Let’s try this:

“The Picture, elegantly framed, came safely to hand soon after Mr. Elton’s return, and being hung over the mantelpiece of the common sitting-room, he got up to look at it, and sighed out his half sentences of admiration just as he ought; and as for Harriet’s feelings, they were visibly forming themselves into as strong and steady an attachment as her youth and sort of mind admitted. Emma was soon perfectly satisfied of Mr. Martin’s being no otherwise remembered, than as he furnished a contrast with Mr. Elton, of the utmost advantage to the latter.” -Emma

Well, now, that is one powerful reaction! What about these folks? Something tells me that not everyone enjoys praise—or at least not from certain sources.

‘”I think the man who could often quarrel with Fanny,” said Edmund affectionately, “must be beyond the reach of any sermons.”
Fanny turned farther into the window; and Miss Crawford had only time to say, in a pleasant manner, “I fancy Miss Price has been more used to deserve praise than to hear it”; when, being earnestly invited by the Miss Bertrams to join in a glee, she tripped off to the instrument, leaving Edmund looking after her in an ecstasy of admiration of all her many virtues, from her obliging manners down to her light and graceful tread.’- Mansfield Park

2: A Good Deed

Let’s try this one on for size. Wouldn’t we all love to have a permanent maid on staff? I suppose I have a dishwasher and a washing machine, so that’s almost as good, but I do love it so very much when someone else loads them for me! Let’s see what these characters think.

“His kindness was not confined to words; for within an hour after he left them, a large basket full of garden stuff and fruit arrived from the park, which was followed before the end of the day by a present of game. He insisted, moreover, on conveying all their letters to and from the post for them, and would not be denied the satisfaction of sending them his newspaper every day.”-Sense and Sensibility

John Middleton might be the sort of fellow who gives what he would most like to receive, eh? What about how Mr Bingley treats his guests?

“Their brother, indeed, was the only one of the party whom she could regard with any complacency. His anxiety for Jane was evident, and his attentions to herself most pleasing, and they prevented her feeling herself so much an intruder as she believed she was considered by the others. She had very little notice from any but him.” – Pride and Prejudice

And who could forget this gem from the same book, highlighting the kind services of two extraordinary gentlemen?

“They battled it together for a long time, which was more than either the gentleman or lady concerned in it deserved. But at last your uncle was forced to yield, and instead of being allowed to be of use to his niece, was forced to put up with only having the probable credit of it, which went sorely against the grain; and I really believe your letter this morning gave him great pleasure, because it required an explanation that would rob him of his borrowed feathers, and give the praise where it was due. “- Pride and Prejudice

3: Something with a Bow On It

Sometimes the best gift IS a gift. And sometimes, it’s not the gift but how it is given that matters. To that end, let’s see what some of our favourites have to say.

“This present from the Campbells,” said she–“this pianoforte is very kindly given.”
“Yes,” he replied, and without the smallest apparent embarrassment.– “But they would have done better had they given her notice of it. Surprizes are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable. I should have expected better judgment in Colonel Campbell.”- Emma

Who agrees with Mr Knightley? Who thinks the surprise is the best part? Maybe it is a gift given with purpose, from one whose notice we treasure above all others?

“Fanny,” said he directly, leaving his seat and his pen, and meeting her with something in his hand, “I beg your pardon for being here. I came to look for you, and after waiting a little while in hope of your coming in, was making use of your inkstand to explain my errand. You will find the beginning of a note to yourself; but I can now speak my business, which is merely to beg your acceptance of this little trifle–a chain for William’s cross. You ought to have had it a week ago, but there has been a delay from my brother’s not being in town by several days so soon as I expected; and I have only just now received it at Northampton. I hope you will like the chain itself, Fanny. I endeavoured to consult the simplicity of your taste; but, at any rate, I know you will be kind to my intentions, and consider it, as it really is, a token of the love of one of your oldest friends.”

And so saying, he was hurrying away, before Fanny, overpowered by a thousand feelings of pain and pleasure, could attempt to speak; but quickened by one sovereign wish, she then called out, “Oh! cousin, stop a moment, pray stop!”

He turned back.
“I cannot attempt to thank you,” she continued, in a very agitated manner; “thanks are out of the question. I feel much more than I can possibly express.” -Mansfield Park

Aw, that one makes me tear up! Here’s a gift that would warm the coldest toes!

“She had only time, however, to move closer to the table where he had been writing, when footsteps were heard returning; the door opened, it was himself. He begged their pardon, but he had forgotten his gloves, and instantly crossing the room to the writing table, he drew out a letter from under the scattered paper, placed it before Anne with eyes of glowing entreaty fixed on her for a time, and hastily collecting his gloves, was again out of the room, almost before Mrs Musgrove was aware of his being in it: the work of an instant!”-Persuasion

On second thought, maybe that one belongs with our first category? 😘

4: Time Together

I really think this is one of the deepest cravings of the human condition, particularly in the modern age. We are so BUSY that we forget to BE, aren’t we? But some of Jane Austen’s characters get it right. Let’s see who, and what we can learn.

“She always takes the right time for applying. Everybody’s heart is open, you know, when they have recently escaped from severe pain, or are recovering the blessing of health, and Nurse Rooke thoroughly understands when to speak. She is a shrewd, intelligent, sensible woman. Hers is a line for seeing human nature; and she has a fund of good sense and observation, which, as a companion, make her infinitely superior to thousands of those who having only received `the best education in the world,’ know nothing worth attending to. Call it gossip, if you will, but when Nurse Rooke has half an hour’s leisure to bestow on me, she is sure to have something to relate that is entertaining and profitable: something that makes one know one’s species better. One likes to hear what is going on, to be au fait as to the newest modes of being trifling and silly. To me, who live so much alone, her conversation, I assure you, is a treat.”- Persuasion

Ah, now that’s a good friend, isn’t it? How about another sample of joy in fellowship?

“As soon as divine service was over, the Thorpes and Allens eagerly joined each other; and after staying long enough in the pump-room to discover that the crowd was insupportable, and that there was not a genteel face to be seen, which everybody discovers every Sunday throughout the season, they hastened away to the Crescent, to breathe the fresh air of better company. Here Catherine and Isabella, arm in arm, again tasted the sweets of friendship in an unreserved conversation; they talked much, and with much enjoyment;”- Northanger Abbey

A bit of special time together can certainly enrich a relationship, or even take it from “nothing” to “something!” Just look what it did for these two.

“But so it was. Instead of falling a sacrifice to an irresistible passion, as once she had fondly flattered herself with expecting,–instead of remaining even for ever with her mother, and finding her only pleasures in retirement and study, as afterwards in her more calm and sober judgment she had determined on,– she found herself at nineteen, submitting to new attachments, entering on new duties, placed in a new home, a wife, the mistress of a family, and the patroness of a village.

Colonel Brandon was now as happy, as all those who best loved him, believed he deserved to be;–in Marianne he was consoled for every past affliction;–her regard and her society restored his mind to animation, and his spirits to cheerfulness; and that Marianne found her own happiness in forming his, was equally the persuasion and delight of each observing friend.

Marianne could never love by halves; and her whole heart became, in time, as much devoted to her husband, as it had once been to Willoughby.”- Sense and Sensibility

5: The Touch of a Hand

We don’t see much “petting” in a Jane Austen novel, but a closer inspection might hint at the ways our beloved couples might have shown their affection. Let’s take a look!

“He had found her agitated and low.–Frank Churchill was a villain.– He heard her declare that she had never loved him. Frank Churchill’s character was not desperate.–She was his own Emma, by hand and word, when they returned into the house; and if he could have thought of Frank Churchill then, he might have deemed him a very good sort of fellow.”- Emma

Our authoress is SO sly! She very cleverly avoids talking about romantic interludes, so we must imagine them ourselves. Do you suppose there was some additional meaning behind that ‘by hand and word’ phrase, beyond the traditional usage? I like to think so.  Surely, these two long-time friends wouldn’t shift their relationship so drastically without some shared intimacy. Goodness, at least they must have held hands!

“His errand at Barton, in fact, was a simple one. It was only to ask Elinor to marry him;–and considering that he was not altogether inexperienced in such a question, it might be strange that he should feel so uncomfortable in the present case as he really did, so much in need of encouragement and fresh air.
How soon he had walked himself into the proper resolution, however, how soon an opportunity of exercising it occurred, in what manner he expressed himself, and how he was received, need not be particularly told. This only need be said;–that when they all sat down to table at four o’clock, about three hours after his arrival, he had secured his lady, engaged her mother’s consent, and was not only in the rapturous profession of the lover, but, in the reality of reason and truth, one of the happiest of men.”- Sense and Sensibility

Ah, Jane, you’re killing me! I am dying to see him fall on his face, receive his absolution, and then kiss prim Elinor senseless! Surely it happened that way. Right?

“Elizabeth’s spirits soon rising to playfulness again, she wanted Mr. Darcy to account for his having ever fallen in love with her. “How could you begin?” said she. “I can comprehend your going on charmingly, when you had once made a beginning; but what could set you off in the first place?”
“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I HAD begun.”-Pride and Prejudice

Now, can’t you just see this one play out? We only hear the words, but let’s picture the scene. She is walking along beside him, her hand on his sleeve squeezing his arm just a little as she teases and flirts. He is turning red, trying his best not to smile, and his eyes are telling her how much he truly loves her little jabs. And then for that last little phrase, she rewards him by pressing the back of his hand to her cheek… hmm, what else do you think happened?

Well, that’s a little Christmas sampling of lovely moments for you! What do you think each character values most?

What do you personally find the most meaningful? And how will you show love to the people in your life this year?

-Nicole