It’s Always Been You and Me – Chapter 1

Here we go again! It’s book 3 of the Wedding Planners series! I loved writing about Charlie and Jensen and I hope you’ll enjoy reading their story just as much. I’m previewing the first four chapters here, and release day is Thursday! Squee!  I can’t wait!

*Please note there is adult language in this preview!

Chapter 1

The light filtering from the hallway through the crack under my bedroom door disappeared, and I let out a long, drawn out exhale. I drew myself up, trying to be as quiet as I could, and flipped the latch on the window over my bed. As I slid the panel up ever so slowly, I held my breath, listening for the slightest sound of movement from my parents’ room.

One foot at a time, I slipped outside. My feet hit the lush grass without a sound before I reached back, grabbed my sneakers off my bed, and lowered the window. Thankfully, even the damp grass kept my secret as I tiptoed to the edge of the woods.

At the end of the freshly mown lawn, I slipped on my shoes and ducked into the darker protective cover of the trees. The fallen twigs and dried leaves on the forest floor crunched under my feet, but I no longer needed to worry about the noise. From out here, my parents couldn’t hear me unless I yelled or screamed for some reason—not that I could think of any reason why that would happen.

The warm night air prickled at my skin—or was that anticipation? This fall had been unseasonably warm and the trees still retained a good number of their leaves. The warmer weather was why Jensen and I had been able to plan tonight. I still couldn’t believe I was doing this! My parents would kill me if they caught me sneaking out of the house!

An owl called into the darkness, making me pause and turn, my eyes searching for movement in the trees behind me. I gulped down the flutters in my stomach. What was it about the hoot of the owl that rendered everything suddenly spooky like a horror movie? I rubbed the goosebumps on my arms away and continued toward the clearing. I didn’t have to walk far before I caught the glimpse of a faint light peeking through the trees.

While the forest floor was covered in leaves and twigs, this place—our place—possessed tall, verdant green grass that folded when you tread across it. We’d claimed this clearing two years ago when we’d first started dating, laying out a picnic blanket where we sat and talked or kissed. We’d also noticed it was a popular grazing spot for deer.

Since Jensen didn’t live far away, he could reach our clearing easily. The small house his father rented lay a ten-minute walk in the opposite direction. It was ridiculously easy to hide away during the day, lounging on a blanket while we were up to all sorts of things. Whenever we didn’t have school, after school sports, or family obligations, we had no place we’d rather be than here with each other. Though we’d never done much intimately, our friends always assumed we’d done more—not that we’d ever corrected their assumptions. It wasn’t any of their business. Jensen, however, had always been a gentleman, and I’d never wanted to be a tease.

I ran my sweaty palm down the side of the worn Clemson football jersey I almost always slept in before I pulled at the zipper on the opening of the tent.

“Charlie?”

“Yeah. Sorry it took so long. I thought my parents would never go to bed.”

He laughed, pulling me through and zipping it up behind me. A small camping light lit the inside, which was covered in quilts, blankets, and a couple of squishy pillows. Once he’d fastened the zipper, he turned, his eyes roving down the faded jersey to my bare thighs and lower. I sat on my knees with nothing covering my legs. I hadn’t even bothered to throw on a pair of shorts.

His eyes latched on to mine. “Are you sure?”

My teeth wore at my bottom lip while I nodded, my finger scratching at a loose thread on the blanket. Suddenly, it was impossible to look him in the eye, so I stared at the camping light nestled in the corner.

A knuckle to my chin lifted my face to his. He brushed his lips gently across mine. “I can wait. I know we’re forever. I don’t mind.”

My heart raced and my stomach wouldn’t stop doing somersaults, yet I nodded my head. “I do want to. I swear.” And I did. Yes, I was nervous, but what girl wasn’t her first time? We’d kissed and touched and done things that had made me ache for more. Was I ready? How did anyone know if they were truly ready? I did know that I’d never love anyone more than Jensen Worth. There’d never be another for me. “Did you bring condoms?” I said softly, my cheeks burning so hotly, we’d never need a campfire.

He nodded, his cheeks reddening in the paltry bit of light from the lantern. “I slipped into the free clinic while no one was at the reception desk and grabbed a handful.”

My fingernail started again on that pull in the blanket beneath us. A shadow fell over the quilt as his warm exhale fanned across my cheek. His slight stubble grazed my skin as he whispered, “I love you, Charlie.”

Our fingers entwined as his lips slid from that spot by my ear to my lips where they met mine in a kiss that was more about promise than passion. “I love you too.”

And I did.

My feet thudded against the belt of the treadmill while I increased the speed and the incline, running faster as the hill became steeper, attempting with every foot strike to banish that memory and put it as far behind me as possible. Why had that popped into my head now?

The distance I’d run rolled up on the screen. Only a quarter of a mile left before I could hit the weight room and finish my workout. Maybe I could completely wear myself out and purge those scenes from my brain.

I made another increase to the speed, slowly ramping up before I finished the run I’d planned, sprinting through the four-mile mark before I slowed and started reducing the incline. I’d need to walk for a little while before I tried stepping down; otherwise, my jelly legs would make me fall flat on my face. Having half of Marysville see me faceplant was all I needed!

When I had my legs back, I left the cardio room, re-filled my water, and headed to the weight room, my feet abruptly halting as soon as I stepped through the door. What the hell? When had he become a member here? Not only that, but why did Jensen feel the need to return to town after all these years? I’d been perfectly fine without having to deal with him on a daily basis, but now, he turned up wherever I was—the grocery store, now the gym, not to mention he would be at my friend Ellie’s house tonight. It was no wonder I kept subconsciously fixating on him. I couldn’t escape the man!

One side of his lips curved into a grin I knew well while he leaned closer to a leggy blonde in front of him. Who was she and what was she doing in here? I doubt she’d ever lifted more than her mascara wand—not with those twiggy arms and legs. Her full face of flawless make-up complete with fake eyelashes that batted up a storm pegged her for what she was: a gym bunny looking for muscles and a hot body to screw.

I scowled, turned up the music filtering through my headphones, and stalked over to the free weights, dropping my backpack on the floor next to a bench. After I dug out my gloves, I found the dumbbells I wanted, situated myself on my back, and began pressing the weight up toward the ceiling, imagining the unforgiving metal of the weight punching Jensen square in the face with every repetition. Maybe I should punch him in the balls. That would be much more satisfying.

Jensen had been my first love—the only guy I’d ever given my heart. We’d been high school sweethearts, inseparable since Jensen asked me out my freshman year. He was a year older, and as the quarterback of the football team, senior class president, and the earner of the highest GPA of his class, he was the cliché popular high school boy.

He might have resembled every girl’s dream in a teenage chick-flick, but I never resembled the stereotypical high school cheerleader in the slightest. I’d always preferred sports to flirting or makeup and had never failed to be the tallest girl in my class. I didn’t have a stick figure to go with that height, instead, I was muscled and athletic. In my freshman year, I’d easily made the varsity volleyball team, something that didn’t happen often. We had a state championship team and competition never failed to be stiff for those coveted varsity spots.

Jensen didn’t mind that I’d rather play football with the guys than go to the mall, and he’d always been the tallest boy in his class, so he could’ve cared less that I was taller than a few of his friends. Instead, I joined the boys at the park on the weekends for whatever games they had going. Soccer, football, baseball—I didn’t care. My conveniently licensed to drive brother was always involved and acted as chauffeur. Those years were amazing. I had a great childhood, but after graduation, those days came to an abrupt halt.

I sat up and dropped the weights to my sides, the stale smell of sweat filling my senses. No way was I going to take that trip down memory lane! Not again, and certainly not with him in the same room. Not with Miss Fuck-me-now batting her fake eyelashes in his direction. I rolled my neck to relieve some of the tension radiating into my cranium. It’d been over a decade. Why did I still let him affect me this way?

If only I could leave the gym and him behind in one fell swoop, but I couldn’t. Today was Halloween, and Jensen had been invited to our friend Ellie’s for a small party she was having after her young daughter, Freya, trick-or-treated. I’d come to work out, fully intending to burn those chocolate-coated calories before I put them in my mouth, and instead, had to watch my ex-boyfriend pick up trashy women. Lovely!

Maybe I could convince Ellie to call Jensen and tell him the get-together was canceled? I started my next exercise, closing my eyes and challenging myself further while at the same time blocking Jensen from my line of sight.

Who was I kidding? Ellie and Jena, my best friends, thought I should forgive the louse—that it would be beneficial for me somehow. Sometimes anger makes you stronger, and I’d held on to mine like a child hoarding a treasured security blanket. Was it rational? Probably not. Did it get me through the day? Yes. Yes, it did. I wouldn’t apologize.

Something warm touched my hands, sending a jolt through me. “Charlie?” came a faint voice over the music that blared in my ears. As my eyes shot open, I stumbled to the side, flinching back from the hands that grasped my wrists to steady the weights. Damn him! Why did I still react to him that way after all these years?

I set down the weights and yanked an earbud free. “What do you want?”

“Sorry to bother you. I asked Ellie what to bring for tonight, and she insisted that I only needed to bring myself. Do you have any ideas? I don’t want to bring alcohol since she’s pregnant.”

Seriously? How did Jensen, a man in his early thirties, not know what to bring to a Halloween party? “If you want something special to drink, bring that. Other than that, I’m sure Ellie has everything covered.”

“What are you bringing?”

“What?”

He crinkled his forehead. “I said, what are you bringing?”

My hands lifted before dropping back at my sides. “I’m bringing myself, a bottle of wine, and a big salad.”

“See. You aren’t just bringing yourself. It’s been a long time since we’ve all been together. I don’t want to show up empty-handed.”

“I’m sure your little gym bunny would love to give you a handful of something.” It was all I could do not to wince or facepalm. Why did I say that?

He glanced over his shoulder with a smile I wanted to punch. “She’s just being friendly. Why? Do you have a problem with it?” His eyebrows lifted when he asked the last bit.

I held up my hand, my palm facing him. “Forget I said a word. Look, Jena and Ellie adore chocolate but they never buy dessert in an effort to eat healthier. I’m sure you can come up with something.”

He tilted his head for a moment, those vibrant green eyes of his taking stock of me as though I might be lying. “I’ve heard that bakery on Fifth Street is pretty good.”

I slightly bobbed my head from side to side. “It’s okay. I’d go to the one on Maple. Their pastries and cakes are the best in town. You and your fellow officers should step out of the Krispy Kreme every once in a while, and try something new.”

“Haha. You love Krispy Kreme.”

“When I was a kid, maybe.” I grabbed the weights from the floor and stared him down. “Is that all you wanted? Because I want to finish my workout. I need to shower before I join Ellie, William, and Freya trick-or-treating.” Was it me or did he stiffen a little?

“I’ll be there after. I’m filling in long enough for one of the officers to trick-or-treat with his family. His kids are still pretty young. He’ll relieve me fairly quickly.”

I took a deep breath in a ridiculous attempt to quash the sudden skip my heart made at his confession. Stop it, Charlie! He left. Remember that! He left.

“I’m certain he appreciates it.” I lifted one arm to show him the dumbbell I held firmly in my hand. “If I don’t finish, I won’t be able to go with Freya.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” He held up a hand. “I’ll see you tonight.”

I set the weight down long enough to pop my earbud back into my ear. My hand gripped the handle as I lifted the dumbbell and started up the remainder of my upper body workout. In the mirror, I could see Jensen walking toward the locker rooms behind me. He pushed open the door that read “Men” but paused before walking in. He turned. I focused hard on myself in the mirror, although I could still, out of the corner of my eye, tell that he watched me for a moment before he let the door swing closed behind him.

What on Earth did that mean? Hopefully, he didn’t still have feelings for me because that ship had sailed. I wouldn’t lie to myself and say I was completely over him, but I would eat nails before I let him anywhere near my heart again. One day, maybe I could put him completely behind me and move on.

The rest of my workout dragged by while I made a colossal effort to concentrate on everything but Jensen Worth—whether the right muscle was engaged for the exercise, whether I needed to stop at the grocery store on the way home, whether I’d sent the correct flower order to the vendor for the Murphy-Hulin wedding. Unfortunately, none of it made the time move any faster.

When I finally finished the last set, I racked my weights and grabbed my bag, heading for the exit so I could jog back to the house. I’d stretch at home before I took a shower. I was five steps from the door when someone grabbed my elbow.

I swung myself around, immediately on the defense, but relaxed at the sight of Elliot, his hands up behind me.

“Don’t shoot!” he said, laughing as I paused my music. “For the record, I called your name twice.

“Sorry.” I held out my earbud. “They’re new and noise canceling. I didn’t hear you.”

“I could tell. I only wanted to make sure you were going to be at the game on Saturday. You never responded to my text.”

One of my hands went to my hip. “Elliot.”

“Yes.”

“It’s the last game. If we win, we win the league. What do you think?”

His grin stretched from ear to ear. “I figured you’d say that, but I didn’t want to assume. You know, the whole you make an ass of you and me thing.”

I rolled my eyes with a snort. “Look, I want to go trick-or-treating with Freya tonight, so I need to get going. I’ll see you on Saturday.”

“Do you need a date?”

“Thanks, Elliot, but no. It’s just trick-or-treating.”

He shrugged and gave me a hug. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

My head shook as I backed toward the door. “I’ll see you Saturday.”

He held up a hand as I pivoted to leave, the unseasonably warm air hitting me as soon as I walked outside. I’d met Elliot during my first summer home from Clemson. He was four years older and adored volleyball just like me. We became fast friends. Elliot had never made it a secret that he’d love to date me, but I’d never been interested.

Even so, I couldn’t blame any girl for jumping at the chance to be with him. He was athletic with tanned skin and these tousled mahogany curls most women would drool over, but I’d made it clear on more than one occasion that I wasn’t looking for anything with anyone. I’d tried dating once or twice in college and it had always felt all sorts of wrong. That was when I gave up denying Jensen retained any sort of power over me.

Jensen still held my heart. Maybe he always would. How pathetic did that make me?