Introduction & Book Launch

Introduction and Book Launch

Good morning! I am so thrilled to join Austen Variations! Since this is my first post, I thought I would tell you a bit about myself. I also have an excerpt to share from my new novella, Mr Darcy A Man with a Plan, now available in Kindle and KU.

First: me. I have been in love with Jane Austen for longer than I can remember. I read voraciously as a child and discovered British classics before I was a teenager. I can’t remember which Austen novel was my first, but I know I read them all as soon as I could get my hands on them. I have re-read them many times through the years, as well as watched the movies and mini-series. I was a grad student when the 1995 Pride and Prejudice BBC miniseries became available, but I scraped together the money to buy it. How could I not? Many years later, the VHS set has been replaced by DVDs and electronic version so that I can watch it wherever I am. (I still have the VHS version, too, despite having no way to play it.) As I write this, I can look up and see the shelf that holds part of our DVD collection. There is a small bust of Jane Austen sitting in front of the Austen portion of the collection. I have a less dusty collection in my iTunes library, too. Then there are the books. I’d share a photo of my book collection, but it is spread across two floors and several bookcases. I am also very proud of my small, but quaint collection of Austen items that range from a cloth shopping bag and a pillow, to a thimble and a finger puppet. I once had a very agreeable conversation with a woman on a streetcar when my Janeite shoulder bag led her to ask me which Jane it meant. We spent the ride discussing our favourite Janes—Eyre for her and (prepare to be shocked) Austen for me.

Back to the books. I was always one of those people who would think about what I read, both because I wanted to understand the historical context better, but also because I wanted to understand the characters better. Sometimes it was a matter of why they acted as they did, and sometimes it was a matter of what happened to them after the novel ended, or how their story would have unfolded had something changed along the way. I would answer these questions in my mind and weave stories to amuse myself and sometimes the beloved cats I’ve been fortunate to share my life with over the years.

I had no idea there was such as thing as JAFF until 2002. I was in London for a family wedding and happened upon a sequel to Pride and Prejudice at a secondhand bookstore. I immediately bought it and could not wait to read it. I don’t remember what it was called or who wrote it. What I most remember about it is that I didn’t like it. I wanted to yell at the characters that they were being ridiculous and it was like all the progress they’d made by the end of the novel was erased. Sigh. But my eyes had been opened to a new world. Not only wasn’t I alone in imagining a continuing or different world for my beloved Austen characters, some people actually wrote them down!

Back home in Toronto, I turned to the Internet. While I searched for published books, I discovered the online world of JAFF, and my life has never been the same. I read everything I could at one site then another, often in the wee hours of the morning as I nursed my baby (multi-tasking at its finest). I began to imagine stories of my own, and ultimately decided to take the plunge and write and post what became an incredibly long modern. It was an amazing experience, and I met so many wonderful, interesting, funny people through the forums. I was well and truly hooked on writing JAFF. I’ve filled notebook upon notebook as I poured out my ideas at home and beyond, from a pool at Disney World to a hotel room in London when we returned for another visit years later.

In 2019, I decided to take another major step, and one that was at least as scary as posting my first story. I published my first novel, Being Mrs Darcy. Because I’m a geek at heart (want to talk Star Trek or The Lord of the Rings when we’re done with Austen?), part of what I loved about publishing was learning more about the writing and editing process. Another highlight has been engaging with the JAFF community in a new way. Like my daughter who turned eighteen earlier this year, I feel like I’ve reached the adulthood of my writing career, and I am very excited to see what this new phase of life has in store for me.

In future posts, I plan to share short stories with you, as well as indulge one of my other geeky habits and research and write about Regency history focused on special topics. I’ll also share publishing news when I have it. Speaking of publishing news…

Mr Darcy A Man with a Plan was the first Regency JAFF I wrote. It dates back about eight or nine years and centres on Darcy devising a plan to win Elizabeth’s heart and hand after his disastrous proposal in Kent. Elizabeth is resistant at first, but we all know she is unable to withstand his charms. The following is an excerpt from Chapter 1. I hope you enjoy it!

A week later, he was strolling towards Piccadilly.

Despite the multitude of people walking along the streets on this fair morning, his eye had immediately been drawn to a young lady standing outside the door of a shop.

Miss Elizabeth!

His feet stopped moving, and he stared. Despite his best efforts, she had not been far from his thoughts. He had too many nagging questions about what had gone wrong, and why, despite his wishes to the contrary, he was not now an engaged man. Unconsciously, Darcy moved closer, using the crowds to remain unseen.

An older woman stood beside Elizabeth, but soon entered the shop. Elizabeth reached into her reticule, extracted a letter, and began to read it. Her expression was serious, almost sad and very different from the one she had shown her companion.

Could it be? Darcy wondered.

When her companion rejoined her several minutes later, Elizabeth hastily returned the sheets to her reticule and again donned a happy expression. Darcy was close enough to hear the women’s words.

“Lizzy, I wish you would tell me what is troubling you.”

“I promise it is nothing so very serious. It is just that there are… matters I need to resolve in my own mind. I am grateful to you and my uncle for allowing me to remain with you. Longbourn is not the best setting for deep thought.”

Darcy was struck by her words; she must be speaking of him. “Your uncle and I are very glad to have you stay. You know you can confide in me.”

Elizabeth nodded, smiled, and said something, although her words were masked by the passing of a large coach.

“Well,” said the lady, “I shall not abandon my efforts to cheer you. Tomorrow’s excursion to the Botanic Gardens at Kew should do the trick! Shall we have refreshments before we return? There is a wonderful pastry shop nearby which I do not believe you have ever visited.”

Elizabeth laughed. “You do spoil me, Aunt!”

Darcy felt himself involuntarily smile. How he wished he had the privilege of spoiling her!

“I can think of no one more deserving,” said Elizabeth’s aunt. Knowing she was about to leave, Darcy strode forward, reaching the ladies as they began to walk away. He desperately wanted a moment of her time, hoping to see a sign that she did not still think meanly of him

“Miss Bennet,” he said, inclining his head.

“Mr Darcy!” Elizabeth’s eyes fixed on him in astonishment. “You are well?” His eyes attempted to take in every inch of her appearance, to read every hint, however subtle, of her thoughts upon seeing him.

“Y-y-yes,” Elizabeth stammered. “A-and you?”

He inclined his head in response. “I thought I understood you to be returning to Hertfordshire after your visit to Mrs Collins.” Say something that proves you remained because of me, because I am the matter about which you need to think!

“I-I decided to prolong my time in town.”

Their eyes met briefly, and her cheeks flushed to a light pink.

Her discomfort was Darcy’s relief. “Do you remain for long?”

“Perhaps a week.”

“I see.”

The woman beside Elizabeth fidgeted slightly, reminding Darcy of her presence.

“Will you introduce me to your companion?”

Elizabeth was startled by his request, and for a moment her fine eyes held his.

She wonders what I am about. As do I.

“Yes, certainly,” she murmured. “Mr Darcy, may I present my aunt, Mrs Gardiner. Aunt, Mr Darcy.”

He exchanged proper greetings with Mrs Gardiner, and, after an awkward minute or two, bid the women good day.

***

Darcy was consumed with thoughts of Elizabeth for the rest of the day. He wanted—needed—to see her again. If she just once looked at him with something other than the disdain and anger he had seen in Kent, it might erase the shadow her misunderstanding had cast over his thoughts. He would be vindicated and in that find his release.

They were visiting Kew Gardens upon the morrow.

I could take Georgiana with me to justify my presence. She would enjoy it, and we have not spent enough time together since my return from Kent.

He would see Elizabeth, confirm that she thought better of him, and close the book on his foolish infatuation with her.

***

The next morning, he collected Georgiana, who was staying with his aunt, Lady Romsley, and they made their way to the gardens. After wandering around for a better part of an hour, he at last spotted Elizabeth. He directed his sister onto a path which would intersect with Elizabeth and her companions, who included Mrs Gardiner, a gentleman—Mr Gardiner, no doubt— and two children.

“Miss Bennet,” he said, keeping his tone and demeanour polite despite his racing heart, “Mrs Gardiner, we meet again.”

“Mr Darcy,” Mrs Gardiner said, curtseying. “What a startling coincidence. Is it not, Lizzy?”

Elizabeth, particularly lovely in a striped pink gown, looked repeatedly between him and Georgiana.

Darcy said, “As the weather was so promising, my sister and I decided it would be a shame not to take advantage of it.”

Mrs Gardiner smiled politely. “Our thoughts were very similar, and we felt certain my niece would enjoy spending the day in such delightful surroundings.”

Introductions were made, and Darcy prayed he was not making a grave error for himself or Georgiana. The Gardiners were not the sort of people they usually knew. However, it was the only way to ensure he had the time he needed with Elizabeth, and an hour or two in their presence would not be so very bad.

“Miss Darcy, it is a pleasure to meet you,” Elizabeth said, smiling warmly.

“A-a-and you, Miss Bennet,” Georgiana stammered. “Are you enjoying your tour?”

Elizabeth eyes remained on Georgiana. Darcy wished she would at least look at him but was nevertheless pleased with the kindness Elizabeth was showing his sister. It is proof that she believes what I wrote in my letter. She acknowledges how infamously that scoundrel Wickham treated Georgiana! It was a victory. She must have acquitted him of cruelty towards Wickham at the very least.

Mrs Gardiner suggested they walk together, and Darcy quickly agreed. He longed to listen to Elizabeth and Georgiana’s conversation, but Mr Gardiner demanded his attention.

“I understand you first met my niece in Hertfordshire?” Darcy nodded.

“And saw her again in Kent?” Darcy again nodded.

“It is quite a coincidence that you have now, by chance, encountered her twice in the last two days. Quite astonishing, really.”

Darcy’s attention turned to the man by his side. Mr Gardiner had the air of an intelligent, successful man of fashion. Surely, this could not be the uncle in trade, Mrs Bennet’s brother? Darcy soon learnt that indeed he was. It was a shock, and one on which he would have to reflect further. “Indeed, sir, it is.”

Mr Gardiner said no more, and Darcy resumed his study of Georgiana and Elizabeth as they walked together. A sharp pang of sorrow struck him; Elizabeth should have been introduced to Georgiana as her future sister. How Georgiana would have rejoiced! But all she will have is the memory of a pleasant hour spent with a kind lady she will never see again.

The party wandered for some time. Darcy remained by Georgiana’s side as much as possible since that was where Elizabeth was. It somehow happened that, on the final part of their tour when they went to view the Chinese pagoda, Darcy found himself walking with Elizabeth some steps behind the others.

“Mr Darcy,” Elizabeth spoke quickly. “I feel I must take this most unexpected opportunity to offer you an apology.” Her voice was low and discreet, and he had to listen attentively lest he miss her words. “I am sure neither of us wishes to discuss the occasion of our last encounters in Kent, but I feel I must. I misjudged you, and for that I am truly sorry. I allowed… Well, it is unimportant, and I know you care little for my personal reflections, but I hope you shall accept my apology. At the very least, you can derive satisfaction from knowing your letter was effective. Your character has been well-defended.”

As the last word left her mouth, she nodded briefly at Darcy and joined Georgiana and the Gardiner children. In a cheerful tone, she cried, “Susan, Edmund, I do hope you are not quizzing Miss Darcy too severely! Miss Darcy, do not feel compelled to answer all their questions.”

Darcy did not hear the conversation which followed, too lost was he in his own reflections. She admitted to misunderstanding him. It is what he had desired. But did she regret—?

His sister’s voice pulled his thoughts away from Elizabeth, and he joined the children; young Edmund had a question about frogs that Georgiana could not answer.

Mrs Gardiner had arranged for them to take refreshments at the end of the tour, and she kindly invited the Darcys to join them. After at first demurring, and upon the lady asking again, Darcy accepted.

“Well, Lizzy,” Mr Gardiner said when they were all seated, “were you amply diverted? It is not Hertfordshire, but were the gardens an acceptable substitute for the day?”

Elizabeth laughed. “Yes, Uncle, they were more than acceptable.” She smiled at her uncle, her love for him evident in her dark eyes.

How I wish she would look at me thusly, Darcy thought.

“And you Miss Darcy, have you enjoyed your day?” Mrs Gardiner asked.

“Yes, v-very much, thank you.”

When the time came to separate, Mr Gardiner said, “Mr Darcy, it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Should you ever find yourself in our part of London, Gracechurch Street that is, we would be happy to welcome you.”

Darcy thought he caught a glint of amusement in the man’s eye as he glanced at his niece.

“Sir,” he said before turning to thank Mrs Gardiner and take his leave of her and her children.

Lastly, he looked at Elizabeth, fair, lovely Elizabeth. “Miss Bennet.”

“Mr Darcy.”

It was such an unremarkable exchange, and yet it felt so very significant.

***

Comfortably ensconced in a wing chair in his bedchamber that night, Darcy spent several hours contemplating the day’s events and, most of all, Elizabeth. She had apologised, but did she despise him still? He had wanted her to know that she was mistaken about his character, and she said that she knew she had misjudged him. He should be satisfied, and yet he wanted more. He wanted her to regret refusing him.

Sometime later, after pacing the floor and consuming a second glass of brandy, he understood that she would never regret refusing him and that her feelings were just. He had invited her censure and dislike by his manner. And the words he had spoken—how abhorrent and insulting they now seemed! Had he really been so arrogant as to assume that he could insult her and those she cared about and she would be grateful for his proposals?

To his shame, he had. Other women might have overlooked his manner and accepted him, but not his most excellent Elizabeth.

But she was not his Elizabeth. Despite everything that had passed between them, he still loved her and wished—oh how he wished—she had accepted him!

Another hour was spent regretting the past. He had missed so many opportunities to make her admire him, to help her under- stand what he did: they were perfectly suited and could have a fulfilling, joyful life together. If only he had done this or said that! Why had he not made more of an effort? Why had he only understood when it was too late?

But was it? Could he not fight for her, change her opinion and win her regard? It would require effort, perhaps a great effort, but she—Elizabeth Bennet, the daughter of an insignificant country gentleman—was worth fighting for.

As dawn broke, Darcy went to his study, pulled out several sheets of paper, and sharpened his pen. He wrote to Bingley, who was visiting friends in Dorset but was expected in town within the week. He had a second letter to write but took time to consider to whom he should address it. He rejected Mr Bennet—they had scarcely exchanged a dozen words—and decided on Sir William Lucas.

Once finished, Darcy wearily climbed the stairs and went to his bed.