Deplorable Dates – Whatever possessed him?

I thoroughly believe in the idea of Darcy being totally disposed to “giving offense” in his introductory scene. We see him exactly as he was described. We are MEANT to see him exactly as he was described so that we can form first impressions before even Elizabeth.

In the ‘tolerable’ scene he HAD thought meanly of Elizabeth’s worth compared to his own. I have always interpreted it as “hmmmmm, yes you are attractive, but only merely attractive. Look at me, (catches her eye) I am a rich, powerful, handsome, sexy man. I disdain your attractiveness because I deserve someone with much more than you, in beauty at least, to be worthy enough to stand opposite me.” His pride and his conceit and his disdain of those he perceive as below him are very much aspects of his whole character. They are balanced by his good qualities, but they still exist, and are very much linked to his life experiences. He does not trust easily and having been burned both by people like Wickham who knew him well and by relative strangers in whom he placed his trust, like Mrs Younge, he is reasonably loathe to engage others with immediate amiability. His behaviour however, may be understandable but it is hardly acceptable. Darcy to me represents the complex, yet very human man, capable of having inherent goodness even though he is the typical “privileged white male” of his time.

I like that Jane Austen explores this in a way that makes the debate about his character very relevant today. CAN persons born into those sorts of privileges be people who are moral, upstanding citizens? Do we as interacting humans judge those perceived as above us with prejudices that are as much present as those prejudices that exist with those we perceive as beneath us? At what point in our relationships with others do we start seeing their real selves as opposed to the selves they present to the world? To truly understand other people takes time, effort and a respect that is not automatic. These are things I think the author shows as important and doubly so in selecting your life partner. I therefore view the Meryton Assembly as much more than Ramsgate or Darcy being shy or socially inept. I take him as he is (yes, of course I would). Lol

Darcy is, before anything else, a human being (albeit a fictional one.). I believe him to be a highly-introverted, private, intelligent person who is easily able to be himself around people he knows, trusts and feels comfortable with and who finds the forced, constrained and unnatural interactions required in specific social interactions to be torture! It takes all his self-control to remain civil in such situations and sometimes the noise and the heat contibute to turn an uncomfortable situation into an unbearable one. He remains civil to Bingley because he is kind to his friends, but he does not know anyone outside of his party so feels no constraint to express his frustration in his comments to his friend. I do not think he was intentionally rude, just at the end of his rope.
I believe that Jane Austen was a brilliant psychologist and thoroughly understood ideas and concepts about human psychology that we are still attempting to understand these many years later.
It is also my belief that much too much has been made of this utterance in JAFF. I do not think that he would even remember saying these words after a few days had passed. I can barely remember what I said yesterday. I am able to remember things I said at moments of conflict with people I care about, but at this point in time I suspect that Elizabeth meant nothing to him.
Please keep writing Joana, I love your work!

I think Darcy himself gives the answer at the end of P&P. He was raised to think little of anyone outside his circle, to think himself inherently better than others, and left to follow good principles on his own, directed by the pride and conceit he was trained to believe in. I’ve always thought there was a really good man underneath, but it took a set down by someone he really cared about to penetrate that thick wall of self-centered, self-righteous, entitled conceit and arrogance that he was trained to. I also think that as he grew and became more comfortable and tolerant of others, he would become more like Mr. Knightley, who I’ve always viewed as Austen’s model of what a mature gentleman should be. Still human, still flawed, but conscious of being a true gentleman to all he encounters and determined to fulfill all his responsibilities to those he encounters. I love Austen’s dialogue and wordplay!

Normally Darcy is used to be pestered by greedy mothers and unqualified daughters, normally he fights them off with an invisible-visible wall of icy politeness and the “mask” being sure of himself. But now, just arrived, he is tired and depressed and feeling vulnerable. Could it be that – facing an attractive real beauty [eye contact!] – in this moment he thinks himself somehow weak and in danger of being defenceless? Therefore, he forgets his education and manners. Panicking he doesn’ think and hurls his insult at Elizabeth, signalling: “I am not disposed to swallow any bait – no matter how attractive it might be. Leave me alone!” Of course this doesn’t excuse his behaviour but it might let it appear to a certain degree explicable.

I definitely think that it was meant as a deliberate insult, intended to be heard. I don’t belong to the “Shy Darcy” camp. I see him as witty, capable of flirting, moving with a well-bred ease in the world of the “haut ton”. See his remark about admiring the ladies’ figure when Miss Bingley invited Elizabeth to walk in the room at Netherfield. I think he somehow saw Elizabeth as an example of the mamas and daughteres out to catch him (it’s not quite clear why – did he notice that she admired him? unlikely as E is quite capable of behaving with good breeding and manners; perhaps it was exactly Bingley’s remark as he recommended Elizabeth as a partner for Darcy – did he think Bingley gave that girl ideas he needed to counteract immediately? Or it could be that just randomly, she was one of the Merytonian crowd that disgusted him).
As for your question:

” The Mr Darcy we love to read and write about would be perfectly civil to his servants, so why would he be so monumentally rude to a gentleman’s daughter?”
I think there is some truth to Wickham’s statement that Darcy is sometimes capable of doing the right thing for the wrong motive of pride and self-importance. he is perfectly civil to servants because he sees it as part of his self-image of a gentleman. Also, his servants are somehow the extension of himself, his household, responsible forhis comfort etc. In contrast, the Meryton people are just unimportant to him. I just love the fanfic stories where it’s pointed out that he doesn’t take the trouble because doesn’t value the opinion of such mediocre people high enough to behave for their sakes; he just dismisses them all, and it’s highlighted with the dismissal of the local beauty.

Also, I got a thought from reading Georgette Heyer’s “Sylwester, or the Wicked eUncle” right now. I think I can interpret Darcy as similar to Sylwester: he is very civil and generous to his servants and dependents, but unconsciously accepts that he is high above them; he expects perfect service and for them to accept his will as law; doesn’t even notice that he is sending out his servant who has a cold into a snowstorm when he needs his services (until called out on it). However, he is much less likely to be sympathetic and understanding towards people near to his own status but somewhat lower – he is immediately ready to “depress pretensions” if thinks such people treat him as an equal.

My brain hurts. Was he shy or wasn’t he? Did he say it deliberately to quash Elizabeth’s pretensions? For what it’s worth, if you were reading P&P the very first time and didn’t know what to expect, that scene would seem shockingly rude. That he was acting just like Bingley’s sisters, proud and unable to be pleased. All you can surmise at that moment is that he had already witnessed the matchmaking mamas of the neighborhood throwing their female offspring into his and Bingley’s notice, and that he really didn’t want to be there, and that he didn’t want to dance! Bingley wanted him to enjoy himself as much as he was, he was getting a bit embarrassed by his friend, so he pressed Darcy again after he’d already said ‘no.’ He pressed him one too many times, oops! We don’t know about Georgiana yet, or Wickham. Or even that he was there to assist Mr. Bingley in deciding upon Netherfield. Although, he was contemplating his enjoyment of a pair of fine eyes rather soon afterwards.

It’s only after a lot of water goes by under the bridge, along a rocky creek bed, that we are privileged to analyze each scene, after we know what we know. So after this chapter Austen establishes his pride, and her prejudice. We are free to think BACK on these scenes after we’re done, but at first reading we have to go by what Austen is telling us at the time. He’s acting proud, but doesn’t he have a reason? I do think he keeps his mouth under good regulation for a reason. When pressed, by outside forces or his own inner turmoil, he says some rather outrageous things; like the ‘not handsome enough’ thing, and the ‘better to admire your figures’ thing. Was that ton bronze ennui speaking?

I need to read the original again soon. I’d forgotten the eye contact thing. Too many scenes of JAFF have imprinted on me (like that’s a bad thing???) and not enough canon.