What Would Jane’s Characters Give Her for Christmas? Part 2

This originally appeared on December 24, 2011.

When I asked other authors from Austen Variations for their ideas of what the characters in Jane’s books might give her for Christmas, imaginations ran wild! There were so many ideas that we needed two posts. Yesterday’s list included Pride and Prejudice, Mansfield Park, and Sense and Sensibility. If you missed it, be sure to check it out. Today we have Persuasion, Emma, and Northanger Abbey. I hope this bit of fun and fancy makes you smile! Happy Holidays from all of us at Austen Variations! This is our holiday gift to you!

Please add your own ideas for gifts from these characters to Jane in the Comments section below.

Persuasion

  • Sir Walter Elliot – A copy of the Baronetcy, a jar of Gowland’s lotion.
  • imagesElizabeth Elliot – Since they must retrench, she probably wouldn’t think to get Miss Austen anything. After all, it’s not as if she has a title or anything.
  • Louisa Musgrove is searching gardening catalogs for hazelnut saplings.
  • The Musgroves – We have been assured that as soon as Mr. Musgrove gives them a gift, Mary and Charles Musgrove will go shopping and get Jane “something nice.”
  • Mary Musgrove – A thermometer, a blanket and a large economy size bottle of Tylenol
  • Lady Russell had purchased several volumes of poetry for Jane but is disappointed by the rampant romanticism of the chosen poets. She is contemplating books on philosophy instead. Lady Russell would also like to offer Jane some free advice on marriage and romance should she be considering any proposals of marriage.
  • William Walter Elliot is in Thornberry visiting friends and shopping for Jane. I would not trust his choices if I were Jane. He is a lawyer after all.
  • Admiral and Mrs. Croft sent an invitation to spend a few weeks at Kellynch Hall.
  • Frederick and Anne Wentworth sent Miss Austen a bottle of the very best champagne because they are so glad they are finally together. They plan to name their first daughter after Jane (although Frederick is sure they will only be having boys). They also sent a gift certificate for a world cruise.

imagesEmma

  • Mr. Elton– A charade about writing; the name of a good barber and picture framer in town.
  • Mrs. Elton – A carriage ride in her brother-in-law’s new barouche-landau and some of Selina’s cast off sheets that she herself does not care for.
  • Emma – A free six-month membership in her dating service.
  • Mr. Woodhouse is certain she needs an afghan to keep warm and some antibacterial gel.
  • Frank Churchill – An eyeglass repair kit.
  • Jane Fairfax Churchill – A used pianoforte.
  • Mr. Knightley – Three bushels of apples.
  • Miss Bates – A box of ear plugs for when talkative visitors call.
  • Mrs. Weston – A slice of wedding cake (just do not tell Mr. Woodhouse).
  • Harriet Smith Martin – A thin quarto of hot-pressed papers full of riddles she compiled; a jug of cream the pretties little Alderney cow in the world.

imagesNorthanger Abbey

  • Catherine Morland – A set of gothic novels including a copy of The Mysteries of Udolpho; a flashlight for travel; one of the latest litter of fox terrier puppies; a National Trust Touring Pass good for visits to 300 historical homes and gardens in England, Wales, and Northern Ireland.
  • Henry Tilney – Being the ultimate beta male hero that he is, he also would give Miss Austen enough of the finest sprigged muslin (he knows his fabrics) to have a new gown made; also eight yards of the finest muslin dyed bright maroon so she can express her wild side, and a journal.
  • John Thorpe – A copy of The Mysteries of Udolpho and The Monk in hopes it will inspire Miss Austen’s future writings to be more spicy and intriguing.
  • Captain Frederick Tilney says, “If Miss Austen were at least 218 years younger, I would gift her with my charm and art of seduction. Under the circumstances I think I shall forego any gifts.”
  • Mrs. Allen– A box of scouring balls for removing spots from clothes, especially spotted muslins.
  • Mrs. Moreland – An old copy of the periodical ‘The Mirror,’ with the bookmark on the essay, ‘Consequences to the Little Folks of Intimacy with Great Ones, in a letter from John Homespun.
  • General Tilney – A copy of Burke’s Peerage World Book of Dafts  (a tongue-in-cheek copy of Burke’s Peerage) so she won’t make the same mistake he did.
  • Isabelle Thorpe – A copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People and an Indian-muslin turban that she thinks may suit Miss Austen’s odd face.
  • Mrs. Thorpe sends her a length of figured cotton fabric that she knows will wash well.
  • Eleanor Tilney– A black and yellow Japan cabinet for a guest room.

6 comments

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    • Anji on December 21, 2014 at 3:44 am
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    Anither brilliant selection and I love the gift from Mary but you forgot the sore throat lozenges!

    1. Great idea about Mary, Anji!

    • Deborah on December 21, 2014 at 7:26 am
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    Loved this over the past 2 days. Brought a smile to my face. Thank you ladies and gentleman.

  1. Haha! Yes, those are great. Poor Jane will wonder what she did to deserve such notice and condescension.

    • Beatrice on December 22, 2014 at 8:52 pm
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    If Mary Musgrove had ever sent the Tylenol, Jane might not have written her poem about having a headache. Lydia Bennet Wickham might have trimmed an old bonnet for Jane Austen, but then decided not to give it away. Instead she’d have ordered a fine meal at the inn at Bromley; I hope Jane Austen has the money to pay for it!

  2. Great choices, Susan. Thanks for sharing this entertaining post.

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