P&P Missing Scenes – A Matter of Character

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Following the disastrous proposal at Hunsford Darcy must decide what he will do.



 

Darcy stalked from the parsonage so quickly the housekeeper barely opened the front door in time.

The spleen of that woman! The unmitigated impertinence of her! She painted him a villain…a vulgar villain!

He mounted his horse and turned away from Rosings. That was without doubt the last place he wanted to be. No, he needed quiet and space to think, neither of them were present in the vicinity of Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

…last man in the world I could be prevailed upon to marry…

His hands quivered and his whole body trembled. The sketch she had drawn of his character! In her eyes, he was no better than…than Wickham! Had anyone ever considered him so low? Preposterous, utterly and completely preposterous! Aunt Catherine might believe herself celebrated for her character, but that was her way of assuring herself of her own superiority.

Ask any man in Derbyshire and he would vouch for the Darcy name. Every tenant and farmer and servant on Pemberley would bear witness to him as a fair and generous master who cared more for his people than they had right to expect. He had no desire to be anything less than that.

Yes, that slip of a sharp-tongued woman would impugn the Darcy name? This was not to be borne.

He urged his horse to a trot. The pounding rhythm of its hooves commanded his attention as he matched his movements to his mount’s. The countryside blurred around him, and he gave into the moving meditation of the ride. The angst, the anger, the raw burning in his soul yielded to the cadence filling his being, fading to a dull emptiness that no longer threatened to overwhelm him.

Would that he might spend the rest of the day in such escape, but neither he, nor the horse, had the strength to continue indefinitely. He settled the beast back to a walk and the fragile peace he had found faded.

Neither speed nor distance had changed the specter that hung over his head. She was out there in the world, thinking very ill of him indeed.

That he could not bear. His pride, his character…and his wounded sensibilities could not leave it lie. She may have refused his offer, but she would have his defense.

But how?

He guided his horse to a tree-lined path, deep with shade. The cool air chilled the sweat on his face and neck cold as her words.

…had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner…

Gentleman-like? Gentleman-like? Never in all his days had his manners been so censured!

He was a gentleman, by his station, by his breeding. Everything about him should have screamed so.

Everything but her.

On what point had he been mistaken? Had she any dower to bring to Pemberley? Were her connections so desirable? Were any of her family, save her and her elder sister, not an affront to society? Of course he disliked the prospect. Why should he not? Indeed who in his position would do different?

Bingley did not seem to mind.

Darcy lifted his hand and wiped sweat from his brow with the back of his hand.

But Bingley’s situation was different. Very different. Entirely different.  How could they even bear comparison? He was not even a gentleman, not yet.

But no one ever considered him ungentlemanly. Bingley was universally regarded wherever he went.

How would he have offered marriage to a Miss Bennet?

Doubtless he would have flattered her vanity—told her of her beauty, of her fine eyes and charming wit.

The corner of Darcy’s lips turned up. Her eyes were astonishing. How long had it been since he thought her only tolerable enough?

Bingley would have never stopped there. He would have waxed on about his tender feelings and how he would treasure her all the days of his life. Pretty words and noble sentiments, but none of which were things he would ever have thought to say.

No…he would never share Bingley’s faculty with words.

But perhaps he might not have voiced his internal struggles over his own, will reason and character so loudly. Was it not imperative to be truthful in such matters though?

He raked his hair and settled his hat back into place.

Fitzwilliam, just because something is true does not mean it needs to be spoken. How often had his mother reminded him? It is difficult for people to hear such things and not believe you intend to injure them with your words, even when to you it is a simple statement of fact. A gentleman must know when to keep some facts to himself.

His horse paused to take a mouthful of weeds growing beside the road. Darcy patted its neck. Perhaps his mother and Miss Elizabeth were correct, offering those truths in the midst of an offer of marriage was ungentlemanly.

Now what?

How could he correct her views, convince her he was not the unprincipled lout she currently believed? He could not talk to her—she would never admit him.

Fitzwilliam? No—he shuddered—best he never know of this humiliating debacle. No one must know. He could not send an emissary.

Then how?

A letter, it was the only choice. But a lady did not receive letters from a man not her betrothed. A gentleman did not write them. She already thought him ungentlemanly, so there was little lost there. She was curious enough that she just might read such a missive. What choice did he have? She would never marry him, but at least she might not consider him so irredeemable after all.

He turned his horse toward Rosings. He had a very long letter to write.

24 comments

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    • Anji on April 7, 2015 at 2:06 am
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    What a delight to find in my inbox this morning! Just the thing to read as I was having breakfast before what I know is going to be a very busy work day. Thank you so much, Maria.

    Darcy’s wrong about not having Bingley’s facility with words. He does have it himself, he just needs to engage brain properly before opening his mouth! If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to envisage Bingley’s version of the proposal or to write that very long letter we know so well.

    1. I’m so glad to be able to help start your day well.

      Darcy is definitely one of those people who does much better if he thinks out what he wants to say clearly before opening his mouth. Thanks, Anji!

    • Deborah on April 7, 2015 at 5:42 am
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    Loved this. You have made us feel his turmoil and astonishment. I’m glad he took time to think. The rhythm of the horse is consoling as is the concentration needed to trot. I find that a rapid walk and talking to my dog or horse helps put thoughts into perspective. Sometimes we can be too honest, as was Darcy. Now to write the letter…. Thank you so much for this missing scene, Grace.

    1. I’m thrilled to hear this struck the right note. I know when I get tense and need to think, I like to go running. The repetitive movement helps settle my thoughts so I can work things out. I thought the horse might do the same for Darcy.

      Thanks, Deborah!

    • Carol on April 7, 2015 at 7:08 am
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    Excellent! What a great excerpt. Loved the fact that Darcy reflects rather quickly what he did wrong in his proposal. He should have recalled his mother’s words sooner then maybe he wouldn’t be miles away in misery. Poor Darcy, one could really feel his pain and hurt through your words. I wonder if they had the saying back in Recency England: Hindsight is 20/20. Think first, act second. Sorta like, measure twice, cut once!

    1. Thanks, Carol! I think Darcy got such an unexpected shock that he immediately retreated to his rational self to try and sort it out. I could just see his poor mother recognizing this tendency in him from an early age and trying to help him with it the best she could, al the while knowing he was going to stick his foot in his mouth more often than not.

    • Maggie Griscom on April 7, 2015 at 7:11 am
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    This and my coffee probably the best thing to happen today! As always Darcy’s internal struggles are so helpful giving insight to the Darcy he becomes. The scene seemed to speed up and slow as the horse and Darcy’s thinking did. I found myself breathing faster until he slowed the horse. What great writing. Thanks for this missing scene and the great writing.

    1. Thanks so much, Maggie. I’m glad you’re enjoying it. I was hoping the horse would help pace the scene and give an image to the tension. I’m so glad it worked!

    • Carol hoyt on April 7, 2015 at 9:21 am
    • Reply

    An amazing scene. I could see his hurt , his feeling of righteousness. Even with remembering the advice from his mother , he still doesn’t fully grasp the problem.

    Thank you !

    1. Thanks, Carol! I figured he wasn’t in a place to come to a complete understanding yet. That would still require some mulling over. But he could definitely make a start.!

    • Kara Louise on April 7, 2015 at 11:19 am
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    Wonderful blend of Darcy’s angst and resolve! Thank you, Maria!

    1. Thanks, Kara!

    • Carol Settlage on April 7, 2015 at 11:30 am
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    Thank you Maria for this poignant scene! I was once again impressed with your ability to depict such strong emotions! I read this first on your own website and then followed it by re-visiting and enjoying a couple chapters from your “Wholly Unconnected to Me”. All most enjoyable and satisfying! 🙂

    1. Thanks Carol! I am so glad you are enjoying!

    • Julie on April 7, 2015 at 3:21 pm
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    Fantastic scene! I loved seeing Darcy puzzle it out, think about how well-liked Bingley is and why… You can almost see from this scene how he will have things all worked out by the time he sees Elizabeth at Pemberly and will have practiced (at least in his mind) how to talk to her, how to act around her… well done!

    1. Thanks, Julie. It just felt right that Darcy had to think this one out more than ‘feel’ it out, if that makes sense.

    • Carole in Canada on April 7, 2015 at 3:25 pm
    • Reply

    You certainly conveyed well his anger, hurt and confusion. I could just see him storming off seeing red! Then with his ride working through the rejection and trying to figure out where things went wrong and his mother’s words. Thank you!

    1. Thanks so much Carole. I really wanted to stay true to his character in how he handled his shocking experience.

  1. Absolutely adored this glimpse into the mind and heart of Fitzwilliam Darcy. I especially appreciated the memory of his mother’s wise words, words he should have taken into account *before* he spoke to Elizabeth rather than *after.”

    I also loved the echo of his Aunt Catherine: “This was not to be borne.” Perhaps he is more like Aunt Catherine at this point than he would like to think.

    Thank you for a wonderful post–just what I needed to wake up after being up grading essays on duMaurier’s Rebecca until 5:00 this morning…. 🙂

    Warmly,
    Susanne 🙂

    1. It would have been nice if he’d thought it out more first. He’s definitely not the kind of person for whom speaking from the top of his head works well.

      Hope your grading has gone well. Spent many years doing that myself!

    • Sheila L. M. on April 7, 2015 at 5:50 pm
    • Reply

    Everyone above has stated it so well. We all (I think) love Darcy but part of why is that he does take her words to heart eventually and then attempts to change. But it was a blow as he had no idea that she would not only reject him but also that she had so many reasons. Your words so paint a very realistic picture of what he might have done. Thank you for this excerpt.

    1. Thanks, Sheila. I think that is one of traits I love most about Darcy’s character, he seeks to improve himself. He is not afraid to confront being wrong head on and desires to correct his errors. What is not to love about that?

    • TLeighF on April 7, 2015 at 10:12 pm
    • Reply

    Great scene! I have wondered how he came to write that letter, knowing it was against propriety and unlikely she would read it. Good things he took the chance!

    1. I really had to think that bit through because it was so against proper etiquette. After he’d already had such a disastrous reception, writing a letter was very very risky. Thanks, TLeighF!

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