Persuasion 200: Epilogue: Sir Walter’s Cravat by Diana Birchall

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Sir Walter and Elizabeth, left alone, with few friends, little money, and no sense, soon found that as their enjoyments were less, their complaints grew greater.



Auvar Sir Walter neckcloth cartoon

“This cravat,” thundered Sir Walter, “will never do.” 

“I beg your pardon, sir.” The butler, Harris, stood back a little, his face red from his efforts at tying, and untying, the thing. “Would you like me to try it again?” 

“No! You have tied it in a blasted barrel knot. Do you suppose that I am a blackguard, or a jumped-up tradesman? Why would I wear a lumpish knout below my chin? It completely destroys the line of my neck. And my profile…” 

“Do not mind, Father,” Elizabeth soothed him, hovering anxiously nearby. “No one in Bath has such a neck, or chin, and they show very well, I do assure you.” 

“Do you think so, my dear?” Sir Walter turned this way and that before the glass, to obtain a better view. “Well, well, there is no slackness there yet – that is something. Not one man my age in a hundred has such a chin.  But the cravat!” He ripped it off and threw it upon the floor, where it joined three others. 

“Sir – sir – “ Harris lamented, thinking of poor Sally having to do an extra washing, not to mention the cost, and the time.

 “It is your own fault!” Sir Walter fumed. “Can you not even tie a gentleman’s knot? Oh, for my French valet once more! Why did I ever let Antoine go. It was the most foolish act of my life. But Lady Russell and Shepherd over-persuaded me. No valet, indeed! How is a gentleman supposed to live?” 

There was no one to remind him of the necessity to contract expenditure. It was not the butler’s place to do so, and Elizabeth was only thinking of the loss of her own lady’s maid, for similar reasons. And Anne, who might have gently reasoned, and explained, and soothed, was no longer there. She was married, and living with her husband Captain Wentworth in lodgings in a pretty part of Bath, awaiting the preparations to sail in the Laconia for a Bermuda posting. Every day, it seemed, Sir Walter and Elizabeth saw either the two of them walking together, as if they had not a care in the world, or Anne driving her own handsome little laundaulette, with its prancey ponies. 

“I am sure Anne has a lady’s maid,” muttered Elizabeth spitefully.  “Perhaps as good as my Marie used to be. While I have to cope with a dirty-fingered slut, in that Sally.  I slapped her this morning, did I tell you? She made such a mangle of repairing my lace, that I tore, owing to her clumsiness.” 

“Tsk.  What a shame. Well, Anne has married a rich man; and we must find another such a one for you, my dear, only something a bit higher than a mere sailor, I should hope,” said Sir Walter absently. “Look here, Harris, don’t you know how to make that new knot that is all the mode, Osbert-something it is called? They say it is quite a simple one, that even an idiot can tie it.”

“Yes, I have seen it done. Osbaldeston, and it only goes round the neck once,” answered Harris in measured tones, trying to conceal how much he wished he could tie the cravat tightly enough to choke his employer. 

“Then try. It is important that I present a fine appearance, as we are going to Lady Dalrymple’s soiree. A simple cravat would not be my choice, but as time is running out, and I have no valet…” Sir Walter shook his head, with a martyred expression. 

Auvar Sir Walter neckcloth portrait

 

Elizabeth remained silent, Harris concentrated, and this fifth piece of white linen was painstakingly formed into the correct shape. Great beads of sweat stood out on the butler’s forehead. 

“That will do, that will do.  Heaven help us, what a cravat!  Well, help me on with my waistcoat, and then you may go. At least,” he consoled himself, “I still have a good waistcoat. There is nothing wrong with that, I should hope.”

“Dear me, no indeed, father. There is not another gentleman in Bath with so elegant a one, or who can wear it better. How is my gown, do you think?  I am afraid Sally has not dressed my hair the most becoming way.”

Sir Walter looked her up and down closely, and pursed his lips. “I wish I could say what you want me to, my dear,”  he said regretfully. “Your gown is well enough; it is last season’s, but still in the fashion. Your hair, however…dear, dear.”

Elizabeth bit her lip.  “Are the curls all wrong? There is not time to have Sally do it again.”

“No, they will do. It is…oh my dear, it is that I perceive a touch of the grey, at your temples.”

Elizabeth ran to the glass and frantically began pulling down some little curls in front, to hide the offending silver hairs.

“Come, come, there is no time for primping. It will not show by candle-light, but you might try a…a darkening lotion, tomorrow.”

Harris discreetly backed out of the room, carrying all the discarded cravats, and other pieces of clothing the father and daughter had strewn over the floor.

Sir Walter “tsked” again. 

“He is an inferior article, my dear,” he told Elizabeth. “Quite the most miserable creature I have ever had the misfortune to employ. And to have only such a man, and the cook, and a couple of maids, and the footman…what a come-down it is.” 

“Of course you feel it. I know I do.” 

“I only hope Lady Dalrymple will not observe any thing wanting in our appearance. And to think we must enter her drawing-room all alone. All our friends have deserted us. If you are not rich, in Bath as much as in London, you are nothing.” 

“I know, Father. Have I not sat at breakfast, these last ten days, quite alone? Of course Anne was never of any use, but she was at least able to help direct the servants, when I wanted to be doing something else.” 

“To be sure, Anne was never any thing particular to look at, but she did present a lady-like appearance enough, which was some slight help when making our entrance into parties of an evening. Her husband too – quite a handsome man, that Captain Wentworth. I am never ashamed to stand beside him, the two of us together do catch every eye, I have observed.”

After assuring him this was true, and that Captain Wentworth by no means attracted the larger portion of attention, Elizabeth added, “And now that Lady Russell has gone back to Kellynch-lodge, we are quite abandoned. “

They were in the carriage by this time, and Elizabeth was settling her velvet cloak about her, thankful for the darkness that concealed what she very much feared was a touch of moth, when Sir Walter remembered something. 

“But we really are entirely without a companion, now. I know Mrs. Clay went back into the country to see about her children, but I should have thought she might have returned by now. Have you heard nothing?”

“No, not a word.  It is very odd.” 

“Well, what on earth can be keeping her? Does she not know that we are being left to ourselves? Why, Mr. Elliot has not called in an age, either.” 

“I noticed he has not,” answered Elizabeth tightly. 

“No one cares about us. We are left to ourselves, barely able to live as a baronet and his daughter ought to do. It is mortifying, and I am sure our invitations are less, too. However, perhaps Anne will start to have at-homes, and invite us. I shall be quite insulted if she does not.” 

“Beholden to a younger sister! Pretty preferment!” snorted Elizabeth. 

“Do not think of it in that way, my dear. The Wentworths may remain in Bath for some time longer, before they put to sea, and you never know that they may be in the way of introducing you to some good company.” 

“Better than the Dalrymples? I think not. Anne’s whole circle now is nothing but dirty sailors. I have seen them.”  Thinking of the Harvilles and Benwick, Elizabeth shuddered.

Sir Walter nodded. “There is something to what you say. Well, here we are. Ah, Lady Dalrymple, now, can afford to do every thing right. Here is a footman, quite properly come to hand you out of the carriage. And a groom to take the horses round. Very nice, very nice.” 

“Oh, I do hope we can ever live so well again,” Elizabeth sighed. 

“Depend on it, my dear, we will. You are still very handsome, and when Mr. Elliot comes back from town…”

Elizabeth smiled sadly. “I fear his attentions are at an end.”

“Oh, surely not. He knows what is due to the family. Now, smile, Elizabeth, as we enter the grand hall.  Remember to say, ‘Brush!’  It relaxes the cheek muscles. You must appear to be enjoying yourself, you know.”

 “Yes; to be sure, we can enjoy tonight, at least. Lady Dalrymple always serves a fine table, that is some comfort.” 

“Yes, my dear. Be very sure to eat fully; then we do not have to order any thing else later. Meat is so dear now. I don’t know how I am to pay the butcher’s last bill.” 

Sir Walter shook his head ruefully, and gave one nervous adjustment to his cravat, which gleamed white in the darkness. The grand house was lit from within by a blazon of candles, and they shone on his handsome face as he ushered his daughter inside.  “Brush!” they both said, together.

Auvar Sir Walter neckcloth

 


 

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24 comments

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    • junewilliams7 on March 19, 2015 at 2:48 am
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    I can envision the next scene already: in the street, Anne sees Sally with her bruised face and asks what happened. Anne offers to hire Sally and all of Sir Walter’s servants come over to beg for jobs, since Sir Walter has no funds to pay them. Anne hires them all and writes letters of reference when she and Wentworth finally get orders to leave, unless Sally wishes to go with them.

    But only *you* can write the scene in which Sir Walter and Elizabeth discover WHY Mrs Clay and Mr Elliot have not returned. Muahaha!! And then Elizabeth can write a “send money” letter to her youngest sister. Oh, the ignominy!

    Diana, you truly have a talent for writing these despicable two creatures. Brava!

    • Diana Birchall on March 19, 2015 at 5:12 am
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    (Spellbound) You ought to write the one about the servants deserting Sir Walter and Elizabeth like rats off a sinking ship and going over to Anne, June! That’s brilliant! And I confess I am BURNING to write one about “The Discovery” – I’ll have to see if that might fit into the schedule!

  1. Perfect, Diana!! I loved the way you have Elizabeth reassuring Sir Walter and catering to his pride while Sir Walter insults her about her silver hairs. Classic! I do confess, though, I can’t help feeling a teesy weensy bit of sadness for them *using an umbrella to protect herself from rotten tomatoes*

    • Diana Birchall on March 19, 2015 at 6:04 am
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    Thank you for your kind comment, Monica! Sir Walter and Elizabeth are a bit pathetic, aren’t they. I don’t recognize the rotten tomatoes quote, though!

    • Jane Odiwe on March 19, 2015 at 9:22 am
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    I loved this, Diana-they are so horrid!!! And I laughed out loud when Sir Walter mentioned her grey hair … Brilliantly done!

    1. Thank you kindly, Jane. I must confess I could write about this family for a long, long time…

    • Maggie Griscom on March 19, 2015 at 9:41 am
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    This pair will never understand! What a problem when Elizabeth’s hair is all out of the bottle and Sir Walter’s neck is sagging and they have to apply to Anne and Wentworth for support and housing. It will be their due even then. Reminds me some of “Grey Gardens” and that very crazy mother and daughter. Great post as always Diana.

    1. Thank you so much, Maggie. You made me laugh with the Grey Gardens reference. Still, I’m not sure Sir Walter and Elizabeth qualify as crazy. They are perfect embodiments of vanity and selfishness. In Jane Austen’s day I think they saw moral faults rather than mental illnesses. It’s an interestic subject to think about, isn’t it?

  2. Too funny Diana! Even better, I’m in the midst of some research right now and I might just have to put up a recipe or two for the darkening lotion you mention!

    1. Oh, I’m dying to see if you really find a recipe, Maria Grace, I made up the “darkening lotion,” but you KNOW they must have had some “embrocation” to fend off gray hair back then, don’t you think? Even though powdered hair was fashionable. I wonder what they used. Please let us know if you find out!

  3. This is such an amusing snippet; they are so self-deluded. Who have they to blame but themselves, but of course, the blame goes everywhere else. I would have liked to have seen Lady Dalrymple (what a ridicukous name; Austen is pure genius!!) give them the cut. 😉

    And to moan about *only* having half a dozen servants! Yes, it’s nothing to what they had at Kellylynch Hall, but still…. And Anne was able to cajol the staff into better efficiency through kindness and consideration rather than screaming and slapping. I think that the scene mentioned in the comments above in which Anne comes across a bruised Sally would be classic!

    I’m hoping to see much more of “epilogue”-type posts; I’m not ready to let Persuasion go yet! 😉

    Thank you for a wonderfully amusing chapter, Diana!! Brilliant, as always. 🙂

    Warmly,
    Susanne 🙂

      • Diana Birchall on March 21, 2015 at 5:11 am
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      Susanne, thank you, and you are not the only one who would like to see a few more “Epilogue” quotes. I’m going to start by writing one where Sir Walter and Elizabeth find out about Mrs. Clay and Mr. Elliot. And your idea of Lady Dalrymple and the Cut Direct is too good to let pass. These are wonderful ideas, so watch this space!

    • Linda Clark on March 19, 2015 at 12:42 pm
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    An excellent and most enjoyable read, Diana. I hope there are still more chapters to come in Persuasion 200. I’m not ready to give it up yet! I like June’s idea for the next chapter in our saga. Some one should write it! Hint,,hint.

    Unfortunately I fear that if ever the Baronet or Elizabeth were to apply to Captain Wentworth (I seriously doubt they would ever approach Anne) for funds to pay their many past due bills, Wentworth – out of his innate goodness – would comply – if for no other reason that they are Anne’s family. The two of them will never understand why they are in the financial straits they are. Their problems will always be because of someone else. However you want to name it, they both are narcissistic/egocentric/selfish/sanctimonious/ haughty!!!

    1. So glad you enjoyed it, Linda. Yes, I fear you are right, if Sir Walter and Elizabeth applied to Captain Wentworth, he’d probably see to it that they had a cottage or something, and didn’t starve. I can’t see him paying off their very large debts, though, if they continued to accumulate them. Also, do you remember how Lydia asked Elizabeth to ask Mr. Darcy for favors, adding “But don’t, if you had rather not,” and we were told “As it happened, Elizabeth had much rather not.” So maybe Sir Walter and Elizabeth would be more likely to apply to the gentle Anne, rather than Capt. Wentworth? It’s an interesting question.

  4. My sympathies to poor Harris. What a wonderful job keeping true to Sir Walter’s vain character!

    1. Harris would be out of there faster than a hound out of hell, if he didn’t need the money – and also, he was quaking with fear at the prospect of being “dismissed without a character”! People really lived without social support back then, no wonder they swallowed indignities as poor Harris does. It was that or starve, and servants couldn’t expect much better.

    • Kathy on March 19, 2015 at 9:48 pm
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    Thank you! Really, wickedly enjoyed the well-deserved drop in their fortunes and status. No two selfish people had it coming to them more! And it’s so awesome that they see Anne reveling in her new life as Mrs. Wentworth. Now I can’t decide whether it would be better for them to continue down this path of self-destruction (with a dose of an itchy, disfiguring rash for Sir Walter along the way), or if they should have some kind of recovery so they’re not a burden to the Anne. Why not latch on to Mary and Charles, I wonder?

    1. Thanks, Kathy, so glad you enjoyed it! I personally do not believe Sir Walter is capable of reclamation. We see it all the time, people who can’t overcome their self-destructive traits and end up badly. And seldom has anyone had traits more impossible to erase than Sir Walter’s innate, ingrained vanity and entitlement. He’s GOT to end up in the gutter, methinks. Hah! He won’t get anything out of Mary and Charles. They aren’t rich (haven’t inherited the Musgrove estate yet) and would just whine about having to care for their own children. Anne is the most likely to help them, I’m thinking.

    • C. Allyn Pierson on March 19, 2015 at 9:56 pm
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    Brilliant as always, Diana! However, I must make a note to myself not to read your vignettes when I have a cup of hot tea in my hand…the burns are an uncomfortable inconvenience and the snorting sound this view into the Elliots’ personal lives induced is sooooo unladylike…Sir Walter would have been highly offended with me! 🙂

    1. Dear Carey, I’m so glad you got a laugh, and I hope the hot tea was only metaphorical! 🙂

    • Deborah on March 20, 2015 at 7:59 am
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    Loved this. It was so funny although poor Sally and the poor butler. The servants are so abused. Sir Walter comparing himself favorably against Captain Wentworth… hehehehe…..how utterly vain. Those 2 have never changed nor will they. Can’t wait to read the reactions when they find our what happened to Mrs. Clay & Mr. Elliott….. Abandoned by everyone…. they are still so blind…and still such spend thrifts. I wonder how long Lady Darymple will tolerate them…relations or not. Thanks for such a humorous, fun post Diana.

      • Diana Birchall on March 21, 2015 at 5:09 am
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      Deborah, thank you, and guess what: I AM going to write about their reactions when they find out that Mrs. Clay and Mr. Elliot are an Item! It’s a brilliant idea, and I’m grateful to you for it, because it’s going to be SO much fun to write! Stay tuned.

    • Sheila L. M. on March 20, 2015 at 4:16 pm
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    Yes, I was thinking we might see a cut by Lady Dalrymple in this episode. And someone has to write about their discovery concerning Mrs. Clay and Mr. Elliot. I do believe Anne would help the servants with either a reference, an connection to another placement or hiring one or two temporarily until they sail. And can you imagine what happens when Captain and Mrs. Wentworth do sail and are out of reach?

    I like the idea of a rash. What about those age spots we all get as we grow older? Somehow the tables have to turn on Sir Walter as he so insults his own Elizabeth. White hairs – horrors!

    This was a perfect glimpse into what might have been “consequences”.

      • Diana Birchall on March 21, 2015 at 5:14 am
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      Thanks so much, Sheila, glad you enjoyed it! But age spots on Sir Walter! I believe he would die at the thought. I am definitely into filling in the Mrs. Clay gap, and giving us a bit more Dalrymple…

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