Persuasion 200: Anne’s Internal Debate

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When Captain Frederick Wentworth proposed, Anne Elliot was over the moon with delight. However, her high spirits were surely crushed to discover that not only did her father think him an unworthy attachment, but so too did Lady Russell! Her inner turmoil must have been considerable in deciding how best to proceed. Here is my attempt to capture her feelings on this, a most defining moment in her young life. It is (obviously) told from Anne’s point of view:



August, 1806


It is an impossible decision! One I cannot credit. When Frederick proposed, I was suffused with joy. That there might be difficulties barely troubled my thoughts. And now, it is all I think of!

I can perhaps understand how Father might not wish the alliance. He tends to be rather short-sighted and has no doubt judged Frederick based on his lack of fortune and connexions. But Lady Russell’s warnings and discouragement come as a most unwelcome surprise!

I have confided in her how happy Frederick makes me! In his company I never feel neglected or inadequate. His gentle, attentive smiles and kind words nourish a sense of worth that, at times, manages to elude me. I have accepted his proposal, and with it, a future of living humbly.  I know we would do so quite happily!  But Frederick is brilliant and wise, full of optimism and high spirits, and I share his belief that only time stands between him and an impressive, lucrative career. He will make something of himself—beyond the wonderful man he is today. Of that, I have no doubt.

I trust him, his aspirations and his dreams, but it seems Lady Russell does not. Her opinion of me is so favorable that I fear it quite overwhelms her thinking. She would have me believe that Frederick is somehow not worthy of an alliance with our family—with me. It is simply not true! She worries that I will regret my reduced circumstances, the loneliness when he is at sea, and the narrowing of my social circle, and I cannot convince her otherwise. I insist that I am not like my father and would give up every comfort for a life with Frederick. I know I would be infinitely happier and more cherished with him than I would be at home, without him. And still she would have me reject him!

With no mother and no encouragement to confide in my sisters, I have come to depend quite strongly on Lady Russell’s counsel. And while I don’t agree with her reasoning in this matter, I fear I am forced to lend credence to her way of thinking, if only for Frederick’s sake. A marriage, before he’s yet had the opportunity to make his name and fortune, while utterly pleasing to me, might very well hinder him. He might eventually come to regret his impulsive offer! It is that devastating eventuality that haunts me. Honestly, I would rather let him go than risk such an ending to the love that has sprung up so sharply and suddenly between us.

I know Father had no aspirations that I would ever marry. Perhaps I was too optimistic, too capricious with my hopes and dreams. Perhaps I didn’t fully think things through. For I would never wish to be a burden on the man I love. I would rather risk my own happiness than ask that he risk his for me. Even if it is to be my only chance at happiness…

I am distraught and feeling very alone—and full of dread for the moment I must face him.  Oh, how different this meeting will be than our last… For now I must go back on my word, insist I cannot marry him, and beg his forgiveness.  I will endeavor to convince him we must merely delay our happiness until the future is more certain, but, sadly, I suspect his pride will rebel.

How my heart aches for the man who has filled my heart with hope, and despairs of a future without him! I desperately hope he will not be angry with me—I hope he will see why I must do this.  But I fear he will not.  I fear this will be the end.  I will endure it all, certain in the knowledge that I am doing what is right, what is best, for Frederick.




Thanks for reading! I hope my attempt to capture Anne’s internal debate felt authentic. My participation in Persuasion 200 “forced” me to re-read the book that inspired it, as it was no longer fresh in my memory. What a pleasure to revisit the romance of Anne Elliot and Captain Wentworth—and to join in this memorable project!

 

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30 comments

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  1. Ouch, that was painful! Poor Anne – so alone, so ‘cornered’. I really feel for her, Alyssa. You have captured her inner debate beautifully – and how she finally could only bear such a decision because she genuinely believed it was the best for Wentworth.

    She understands him well, also, on their relatively short acquaintance – that his pride and his absolutely conviction of success in the future will not allow him to understand her point of view – I suspect he won’t even really hear her out, or if he does, he won’t actually ‘hear’ the words and what they mean.

    Big sigh. Lovely, if heart-breaking, scene, Alyssa.

    1. Thanks so much, Cassandra! A lot of pondering (and editing) went into this scene. So glad you enjoyed it!

  2. Alyssa, you have perfectly captured Anne’s turbulent feelings and emotions on this matter. I feel so sorry for her to be persuaded to give up her one true love for him to have a better future without her to hold him back. I really hope he does see her point and counter Lady Russell’s persuasion by making her believe in him. But alas that is not going to happen because his pride got in the way.

    1. It was difficult to write, knowing what was in store for Anne. I’m so sad for her…

    • Eileen on May 22, 2014 at 6:08 am
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    Oh, poor Anne. If only she had once in her life been made to feel worthy of anything! Now when the chance for such comes along, she is too easily persuaded to give up her chance at happiness, to doubt her decision, to bend to the opinions of others. And poor Captain Wentworth when he learns of her decision. I cannot imagine that he would “go down” without a fight.

    Persuasion is such a sad book (at least at the beginning). I am waiting impatiently for the gloom to start lifting. 🙂

    Thanks for the chapter, Alyssa.

    1. I know what you mean, Eileen. Let’s bring on the happy! 🙂

    • Jane Odiwe on May 22, 2014 at 6:23 am
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    Alyssa, that was lovely-heartfelt writing-thank you.

    1. Thank you, Jane! I appreciate you taking the time to read!

    • Deborah on May 22, 2014 at 6:27 am
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    Oh, how superb. I can just feel how tormented Anne is by the decision to be persuaded by Lady Russell. Her turmoil is palpable!. “How my heart aches for the man who has filled my heart with hope, and despairs of a future without him.” (My favorite line in this excerpt). You can feel that, if she didn’t love him so much, she would’ve gone ahead no matter what anyone else said or thought, But, her love, is a self-sacrificing kind of love. Even though she feels this is her only chance at love she is wiling to throw it away for Frederick’s sake. “He might eventually come to regret his impulsive offer! It is that devastating eventuality that haunts me.” Poor Anne. As Cassandra says, ‘she truly understands him. He will not hear her reasoning…. Poor Anne & Frederick.

    Alyssa, thank you so much for showing Anne’s emotions in this scene. You have made me feel her turmoil and accomplished what you set out to do…captured her internal debate. Beautifully written. Again, I cannot say I am looking forward to her ‘confrontation’ with Frederick, but would like to see how this next scene is played out. What an emotional rollercoaster.

    1. Thank you for your kind words, Deborah! Your ride on the emotional roller coaster isn’t over yet! Prepare yourself for Shannon’s wonderful confrontation scene! 🙂

    • Maggie Griscom on May 22, 2014 at 6:59 am
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    Alyssa, this was so “ANNE”. Soft, sincere and self-effacing. I can feel the gentleness and the love for Fredrick in her thoughts and the knowledge that he won’t hear her and she will be left alone. It is loosing her mother all over again. Thank you for a beautiful scene.

    1. Thank you so much for reading, Maggie! I’m glad you enjoyed it!

  3. Lovely chapter, Alyssa. So sad she thinks she’s doing it for him! These prequel chapters have been so wonderful in filling in the background of the story. Sorry I accidentally attributed your chapter to Kara on FB. I’ve fixed it.

    1. No problem, Susan! 🙂

      I agree–I’ve really enjoyed reading these prequel chapters–it was a great idea to include them!

  4. Such a sad moment. It’s going to be very hard for her to tell W. that she’s changed her mind. What a difficult decision to make! So well captured, Alyssa!

    1. I was cringing all the way through the writing, Monica! I don’t envy Anne any of this! (And thanks!) 🙂

  5. Excellent insight that Lady Russell’s boundless esteem for Anne blinds her to where she believes no one is good enough for Anne, least of all Cpt. Wentworth!

    1. Thanks for all your help with this scene, Shannon! 😉 You were instrumental!

  6. Poor Anne…I can only imagine her thinking and worrying and fretting about all this, in her quiet way. I’m the kind of person who overthinks everything and for something this important I’d probably make myself sick or crazy. I don’t look forward to Frederick’s reaction when she has to tell him. *cringe* Sigh…

    You did a great job, Alyssa!

    1. Thank you, Monica!

      I’ve already had the pleasure of reading Shannon’s confrontation scene. The cringe is here to stay… 🙂

    • Stephanie Carrico on May 22, 2014 at 6:04 pm
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    Beautifully written, you captured Anne’s character perfectly…her internally struggle with no one to turn to…broke my heart…I’m sure I will cry when she has her conversation with Wentworth…

    1. I hope not, Stephanie, but if you have to, you have to! 🙂 (Thank you!)

    • Carole in Canada on May 22, 2014 at 10:39 pm
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    Anne’s inner turmoil is heart wrenching and you have portrayed her so well. For her sanity, she has to convince herself that it is for Captain Wentworth’s own good. Oh the emptiness she must have felt for 8 long years…

    1. I know, I know…

      (Thanks for reading, Carole!) 🙂

    • Márcia Ferreira on May 22, 2014 at 11:09 pm
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    Ohhhh… vi todas as expressões possíveis na face da Anne no momento em que eu estava lendo, a cena está perfeitamente de acordo com a personagem retratada por nossa querida Jane. Embora a Anne tenha passado por longos anos pensando se o amor de Fredrick ainda era constante e por uma segunda chance incerta,foi lindo vê o amadurecimento dos dois. Valeu a pena!!!!!!!!!!!!rerererere………

  7. Tuve que leer esto en Google Translate. 🙂

    Creo que voy a tener más diversión de leer la historia de Jane con estos desgarradoras “capítulos extra” en mi mente!

    Gracias por leer y comentar!

    • Kathy on May 23, 2014 at 4:32 pm
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    So well written! Thank you! This was just lovely, even though it was so sad. I think because their engagement was so quick it led to so many of these misunderstandings. No one (else) had time to get to know Frederick and find out that he wasn’t a shallow opportunist, and Frederick and Anne didn’t have a chance to really convince each other that their attachment wasn’t a superficial one. Anne being so insecure to start with couldn’t believe that what she had with Frederick was going to last. But it seems that Lady Russell was also able to bring Anne around by making her think she could be a burden to Frederick.

    1. Everything about it was rushed, and as such, somewhat ruined. Thankfully, they got another chance!

      Thanks for reading!

    • Sheila L. M. on May 26, 2014 at 1:20 pm
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    I put off reading this until today, knowing how tragic this part of the story is and it did bring tears to my eyes. I believe you captured it perfectly….sadly! Don’t look forward to the next parts but will read them to “get them out of the way” and get to better, happier times.

    1. Aw, thanks, Sheila! Sorry for the tears! 🙂

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