George Wickham writes…
Friends, in my capacity as a gentleman of the world, I have been fortunate to see many things and become a fellow of wide and varied experience. This means, of course, that I have also gathered a fair few little tips and tricks that might help a gentleman navigate his life with skill and ease.
On occasion, others approach me for the benefit of my experience and I am, of course, happy to share it. The missive below was received via my estimable editor1, and is from a gent concerned by a little matter of rogue rouge. Can his reputation and, more importantly, his shirt, be saved?
The mysterious HB asks…
Dear Mr Wickham,
I have got lipstick on the collar of shirt.
What would an expert in these matters, such as yourself, advise?
I beg your haste, sir
Mr Wickham replies…
My dear friend, what would I advise?
Why, what can one advise? Surely you are not suggesting that I conjure up some magic for removing the reminder of what I am sure was a fine night with a fine sort of girl in the finest surrounding?
I advise leaving the laundry to the laundry woman. Instead, simply place the garment securely in your linen press, well away from the fragrant lady who shares your name. On those days when the sun fails to shine and the choirs of marital harmony fail to sound, don the shirt and your finest suit and sally forth to town – the more lipstick the better!
1: Ed’s note: Thank you to HB, who dropped Mr W a line via Facebook. If you seek Mr Wickham’s advice, do not hesitate to leave a comment or get in touch, and he shall lend you the benefit of his knowledge.