P&P: Behind the Scenes – Mr. Collins Applies to Sir William for Charlotte’s Hand

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In chapter 22 we’re told that, the morning after a dinner at Lucas Lodge, Mr. Collins slyly slips away from Longbourn with the covert aim of proposing marriage to Charlotte Lucas. This is exactly what Charlotte has been hoping for, and, perceiving him from an upper window, she instantly sets out “to meet him accidentally in the lane.” There she is rewarded with eloquent professions of Mr. Collins’s love. (This section is full of witty narration, by the way – well worth reading again!) All that then remains is for the prospective groom to apply to her father for his consent. Here is that unwritten scene:


Wednesday, November 27, 1811

 

Mr. Collins could be no less satisfied with his own eloquence than with its effect. He had obtained his object and, there in the garden, the amiable Charlotte had promised to be his.

The more he had thought about it, the more certain he became that his second choice had been the right one all along, for surely Miss Lucas more closely matched his noble patroness’s description of the proper wife for him – an active, useful sort of person, able to make a small income go a good way. Yes, Lady Catherine would be well pleased.

“When is to be the day that you make me the happiest of men?” he entreated his intended as they reentered the house. “Do say it will be soon, my dear Charlotte!”

Charlotte could not help being flattered by her lover’s impatience. In truth, however, Mr. Collins was thinking as much of Lady Catherine at that moment as of herself, and of his triumph to come when he presented his very appropriate bride to that lady.

“Really, Mr. Collins,” Charlotte said in a low voice. “I have said I will be your wife and I will, but first you must do two things to satisfy what is right on the occasion.”

“Only name them, my beloved.”

“You must promise to keep our understanding a secret at Longbourn until I can break the news to the family myself.”

Though it would cost him dearly to do so, Mr. Collins dutifully agreed.

“And, of course, you must speak to my father. I am persuaded that he will make no difficulty whatsoever, but the formality must be observed.”

“Naturally!” Mr. Collins enthused, relieved that this second stipulation was more in keeping with his taste. “I would not slight your honored father for the world. I hope I do not merely flatter myself in saying that I know how it should be done, too. You can trust me, my dear Charlotte, to show him the respect and deference which are his due.”

“Very well. Do step into the library here, and I will tell my father that you are waiting to speak to him.”

Charlotte disappeared, and Mr. Collins used the next few minutes alone to arrange in his mind the fine compliments and ceremonial words he would use when Sir William Lucas appeared. It was the sort of thing a person could expect to do only once and, therefore, it must be done correctly the first time.

“Mr. Collins,” said Sir William, smiling magnanimously as he entered. “How delightful to see you again so soon! My daughter tells me it is a matter of some importance that brings you this morning. Pray, do be seated,” he invited, gesturing to the nearest chair.

Mr. Collins steadfastly declined the offer, thereby obliging his host to continue on his feet as well. “It is a matter of too much import for me to take my ease prematurely,” he said by way of explanation. “In truth, my dear sir, it is nothing less than the making of my future happiness and, if I may be so bold,” he said with an exaggerated bow meant to portray just the opposite impression, “that of your amiable daughter’s as well.”

“Indeed? How so?” asked Sir William, feigning more ignorance than what was rightfully his at that moment.

“Well may you ask. Allow me to enlighten you, sir. It is simply this. I rejoice to say that I have been so fortunate as to procure the honor of Miss Lucas’s favor, and now I humbly beseech the honor of your blessing on our union as well.”

“Dear me! This is a surprise, although not an unpleasant one, I assure you, Mr. Collins. I had thought your interest tended in a different direction. That is all.”

“How perceptive you are. While it is true that conscience compelled me to attempt some reparation to my fair cousins…”

Here, Mr. Collins was briefly interrupted by an eager Sir William, saying, “Naturally, naturally. A man of your high moral tone could do no less.”

“…I am relieved to say that I have satisfied that obligation without loss of either my dignity or my liberty.”

“Elizabeth?” guessed Sir William. A sober nod from his companion confirmed it. “Perhaps too headstrong for her own good.”

“So she had proven to be. But I harbor no ill will towards her – no, indeed I do not – for she has done me a great service in the end by freeing me to find a more affable partner elsewhere.”

Mr. Collins allowed a suspenseful pause. Having ably set the stage, he instinctively felt the time was right to begin building toward the final climax. Presently, he undertook his most stately manner and proceeded.

“My dear Sir William, a gentleman in your position – a knight of the realm and a man once distinguished by the king himself – perhaps has every right to expect more than a humble country parson for your daughter. Still, I beg leave to point out that although my suit may appear modest at first, it is not completely without merit. You know my happy connection with the noble family de Bourgh and, of course, my future prospects as regards the Longbourn estate.” Here he momentarily dropped his voice by way of an aside. “Understanding the man is a friend of yours, I will say no more about that. Still, I trust that a woman who can count these blessings among the benefits of marriage can on the whole have very little reason to repine.”

“I should think not, my dear Mr. Collins. I should think not! Indeed, I must say that I am very well pleased with the idea, and if Charlotte has agreed, I certainly will not stand in your way. Let us share the happy news with Lady Lucas at once, shall we? I think I can promise she will be as delighted as I am at the prospect. Capital, capital!”

Sir William hurried to call his wife and daughter, who had been, fortuitously, waiting not far down the corridor for just such an eventuality. Lady Lucas, having already taken a hint from Charlotte, began expounding on her joy at once and of her sanguine expectation that it would prove a most fortunate alliance on both sides.

Soon the entire Lucas household was taken into the celebration, each member quickly perceiving how having the weight of Charlotte’s impending spinsterhood off their hands would go a fair way to improving their own prospects. Charlotte herself was perhaps the most composed of the lot. Giddy excitement escaped her, but on the whole she was satisfied with her day’s work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

23 comments

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    • Deborah on September 29, 2015 at 7:15 am
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    This was brilliant. I never thought of it before, but Sir William Lucas and Mr. Collins are so alike in their manner of speech. This was so funny. Thank you for starting my morning with this missing scene.

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it, Deborah! Yes, they both sort of fall all over themselves trying to be gallant, don’t they?

    • Michelle Hall on September 29, 2015 at 7:29 am
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    Absolute quality. I can just imagine the scene taking place. Thank you for a lovely excerpt.

    1. Thanks for the kind words, Michelle! Mr. Collins is always fun to write. Makes me almost sorry I killed him off first thing in “The Darcys of Pemberley.” Haha!

    • Carol hoyt on September 29, 2015 at 9:13 am
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    Wonderful! You wrote it exactly as it should be!
    Great reading!

    1. I’m so pleased you think so, Carol. Thank you for reading and commenting!

    • Linda Clark on September 29, 2015 at 9:57 am
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    Short and sweet and directly to the point, Shannon. I cannot imagine how Mr. Collins would have survived had it not been for his benefactress, Lady Catherine de Bourgh propping him up. He relies on that relationship throughout the entire story.

    1. Very true, Linda. Lady Catherine is for Mr. Collins a beacon in the night – guiding his way and directing him what to think. Reminds me of something I wrote in “Mr. Collins’s Last Supper”:

      In the interim, the clergyman basked in the rarefied light of Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s patronage, a place where he could sample, albeit vicariously, the wealth and consequence he secretly yearned for. The crumbs from her exceedingly handsome table often fell to him. Her Ladyship, in return, received a doggedly faithful servant eager to prostrate himself at her feet.

    • Glynis on September 29, 2015 at 11:27 am
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    So funny and I imagine that is just what would have been said. I couldn’t possibly cope with that man being with Elizabeth. In fact she has to be with Darcy by the end of the book for me to read it and even better if they get together earlier. Thanks for letting us into your version of this scene.

    1. My pleasure, Glynis! And I agree with you; no matter what variations (or sequels, in my case) we may write, Darcy and Elizabeth MUST get together and STAY together.

    • Carol on September 29, 2015 at 12:17 pm
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    Witty writing. Never before have I felt that Collins and Sir William are very much alike, but your story made them so. I’m sure glad Elizabeth said no. How he ever imagined himself good enough for Elizabeth was beyond belief. His nonsensical babbling would have driven her crazier than she already was when he’s around her family. Well written.

    1. Thanks for your comment, Carol. It’s mostly my imagination at work here! 😉 We don’t really know that much about Sir William Lucas, except that he let being made a knight (just for giving a pleasing speech before the king when he was the mayor) go to his head, suddenly giving him a disgust for his own business endeavors. The fact that he felt that compliment too much does remind me of Mr. Collins feeling the honor Lady Catherine’s notice too keenly.

  1. So funny. I practically squirmed with embarrassment for Mr. Collins *and* Sir William during Mr. Collins’ “application for the blessing of the honored father of his beloved upon the impending nuptials” as Mr. Collins would have phrased it.

    I especially enjoyed the final line in which Charlotte is not actually excited but feels satisfied with her work. That little sentence reveals so much about Charlotte’s practical nature. 🙂

    Thank you for a hilarious scene, Shannon!! 🙂

    Warmly,
    Susanne 🙂

    1. Thanks for the encouraging words, Susanne, as always. And I should have managed to work “impending nuptials” into the story – great line!

      As for Charlotte, we’re told in the book:

      Her reflections were in general satisfactory. Mr Collins, to be sure, was neither sensible nor agreeable; his society was irksome, and his attachment to her must be imaginary. But still he would be her husband… however uncertain of giving happiness, [marriage] must be their pleasantest preservative from want. This preservative she had now obtained; and at the age of 27, without having ever been handsome, she felt all the good luck of it.

    • melanie on September 30, 2015 at 4:38 am
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    One of these days Mr. Collins will choke on some of the words he speaks, but I trust that when it happens he is sure not to notice, since I believe that he likes the sound of his voice much more than the affect of the words themselves. If only he knew what you have in store for him !

    1. Yes, he will choke, Melanie, as you allude to, but on something more substantial than his own words!

      (For those not in on the joke, see The Darcys of Pemberley or Mr Collins’s Last Supper)

    • TLeighF on September 30, 2015 at 10:53 pm
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    Such an entertaining scene! I admit I never thought at all about how the Lucas household would have reacted to the news of the engagement (probably because thinking about ANYONE being married to Mr. Collins makes me kind of ill). But you did a great job imagining this missing scene and and it actually makes me feel a little bit better knowing that several people were given joy by the situation.

    1. Glad you enjoyed it! I just let my imagination extrapolate from what we’re given in the original text (chapter 22 of P&P). As I said in the intro, I highly recommend rereading this passage. It’s some of JA’s wittiest narration, imho. Makes me chuckle every time!

    • Sheila L. M. on October 1, 2015 at 10:11 pm
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    Everyone above has said it so well. Knowing Mr. Collins I was looking for him to go on and on with his effusions and just about never get to the point! But he did and I, too, liked how you had Charlotte say…her day’s work. She does have some wisdom and can “handle” Mr. Collins well. Which she will need for a long time to come.

    Thank you for this additional excerpt to my favorite story.

    1. Actually, Sheila, not so long to come, according to my version of events in The Darcys of Pemberley and Mr. Collins’s Last Supper. I rescued Charlotte from that terrible fate! 😉

        • Sheila L. M. on October 1, 2015 at 11:04 pm
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        Yes, I did read that but I am thinking more along the lines of just filling in chapters for P&P…didn’t think of your oh-so-funny book. Shame on me. And I shouldn’t laugh at that either but am excusing myself in that it is a book.

        But still Charlotte was prepared even if it was only a needed skill for a short time. I won’t go into how one variation had her get respite in another way, MA only type! Yikes. Not how I want to think of Charlotte.

        1. No problem, Sheila! You’ve read more than one P&P continuation. I only think of my own. Rescuing Charlotte was one of my top priorities. The other was to prevent Mr. Collins reproducing! Worthy goals, I hope you would agree.

            • Sheila L. M. on October 2, 2015 at 12:22 pm
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            I am Laughing Out Loud at your comment about Mr. Collins reproducing…imagine having him and Lady Catherine influencing a young child’s development! Yikes.

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