Celebrating the launch of Courtship and Marriage In Jane Austen’s World

Today is it, the official launch of Courtship and Marriage in Jane Austen’s world! You can find it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble now. It will be available at all the major booksellers  and in paperback very soon.

Thank you so much for all the wonderful questions. You guys really outdid yourselves–so many questions that this’ll have to be a two part post! Now for some answers!

  • We know that husbands could beat their wives with a stick no thicker than the size the husbands’ hands. However, were there any other legal limitations on the abuse they could render? And were they ever punished?

Sadly no, not really. Legally, they could beat their wives ‘severely’ and face little punishment. The original law did not place any limits, but a later judge said they could use a stick no thicker than the husband’s thumb, hence the rule of thumb. A woman could go to court and complain, but it was difficult to see any action taken. Only if he outright killed her was there likely to be punishment.

  • What exactly was the etiquette on first names? Was it improper for a man to use the first name of ANY unmarried woman who wasn’t a relative, or were exceptions made for close friends? Would Elizabeth be referred to as Miss Bennet (instead of Miss Elizabeth) whenever Jane wasn’t around to be the default Miss Bennet? And what about married women? Charlotte is referred to as Mrs. Collins after her marriage, but Lady Catherine is always Lady Catherine…

First names were only used among family and very close friends. The only first name a gentleman would use for a female not very close to him was for a servant.  In some cases, close friends used first names, as in Mr. Knightley calling Emma by her first name. But he had also known her since birth, so this wasn’t uncommon.

The eldest Miss Bennet present would be called Miss Bennet. If there were several Bennet sisters  in attendance, the younger ones would be Miss (First name). Married women would be Mrs. Husband’s Last Name. First names were only for close relationships even with other ladies.

Lady Catherine was called that because her position as an earl’s daughter entitled her to be Lady Her First Name, even though she was married. She would not be addressed as Catherine–woe to the person who ever tried that!

  • It seems like proposals of marriage can be given without any signs of courtship (Darcy’s confession of ardently loving Elizabeth and the asking for her consent to be his wife). Was this a common practice? And was there a period of time of acquaintance that had to pass before a man could make an offer? Or could he just “pop the question” at any time?

‘Signs of courtship’ were very subtle and direct discussions effectively impossible. It was possible the woman might not realize a man’s affections, but it probably wasn’t extremely common. Although young people were encouraged to take time to get to know one another, an offer of marriage could be made at a first meeting. But that wasn’t very frequent.

  • How bad would be a damage to Miss Darcy’s reputation for just agreeing to an elopement, without it actually taking place?

It would entirely depend on who knew and how much gossip circulated about it. If kept quiet, then there would be little damage done.

  • Why did they have dowries? I have read that the men would spend it all, or it would be held (for example, in a Trust) for the female and offspring as their security if the male dies.

The purpose of the dowry was to compensate the husband for the woman’s maintenance for her lifetime. Ideally interest off it provided a woman’s spending money, it provided for daughter’s dowries and younger son’s portions, and established her support in widowhood.

  • What are the consequences of eloping? To reputation? To the dowry? Marriage articles?

Eloping would tarnish a young woman’s reputation. There would be no marriage articles which meant there would be no legal provision for her widowhood or for portions for her daughters and younger sons. Her dowry would belong to her husband and she would have no say or control in what he did with it.

  • One plot I’ve seen a few times in regency stories is a woman who hopes to marry a rich gentleman will try to compromise herself in hopes that he will have to marry her. I am curious if this actually a common occurrence in reality and whether a woman’s reputation was as easily compromised as the stories suggest. For instance, a letter being given between a man and a woman, being alone in a room together with the door shut or a gentleman asking for a lock of a woman’s hair, etc.

Compromise was largely about acting in a way that convinced onlookers that the couple was engaged. If no one saw the ‘compromise’ or the person who saw it was not inclined to gossip about it, there is was essentially a moot point.

The issue with appearing engaged was that once a couple was betrothed, premarital sex was likely. Thus her reputation was compromised. An honorable man could salvage her reputation by offering her marriage.Courtship and Marriage5

There was no legal remedy for a compromise, so it was all about the honor and inclination of the man involved.

Come by tomorrow for to answer to more of your questions!

If this whet your appetite for more, you can find Courtship and Marriage in Jane Austen’s World at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Kobo and other major book retailers.

23 comments

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    • Meg on September 1, 2016 at 1:00 am
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    Maria, it sounds like an interesting book, especially because marriage was only one of a very few options open to Regency women and was considered by most, the best option. Thank you for your give away and for the information you share with us on a regular basis.

    • Florence Solowianiuk on September 1, 2016 at 1:28 am
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    Your comments on the issue of compromise were very interesting. In a recent P+P variation I read, a young lady tried to compromise Darcy by maneuvering the hem of her gown during a dance in such a way that he would step on it so that the gown would tear. Luckily, he caught onto what she was doing and avoided the compromise.

    It seems to me that something like this could easily have been accidental, happening as it would have during a dance with so many witnesses to attest to that. Obviously, deliberately tearing a woman’s gown would have been beyond the pale, but accidentally stepping on a hem (despite being an original plot point) seems relatively minor, and something that may have been a common occurrence with less skilled dancers stepping on their partners’ toes. I wonder if if young ladies really tried this maneuver very often.

    I’m looking forward to reading this book, as it will no doubt explain a great deal.

    • Laura H on September 1, 2016 at 6:29 am
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    This is very interesting and I’d like to read the book to find out more. I am looking forward to tomorrow’s installment.

    • Theresa M on September 1, 2016 at 8:20 am
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    How interesting I never gave a thought to the no marriage articles consequence of eloping…it gives Wickham’s preying on Georgianna an even darker future!
    I would love to read this book. Thanks for the giveaway opportunity!

    • Eva E on September 1, 2016 at 8:28 am
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    Thank you so much for answering my question. The book sounds so informative, and I know that your research is impeccable. Thank you for the giveaway!

  1. This book sounds fantastic – I can’t wait to read it!

    • Michele on September 1, 2016 at 9:28 am
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    Congrats on the book launch. Thanks for the giveaway.

  2. This sounds like a fascinating and helpful book for those of us who read a lot of Austen variations. Looking forward to reading it.

    • BeckyC on September 1, 2016 at 9:44 am
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    Very interesting. So many of us love this period. When comparing to modern times, bathrooms and medicine are often brought up. Marriage can be another to add to the list. Congratulations! Thank you for the giveaway.

    • Miriam Bresticker on September 1, 2016 at 9:53 am
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    I already knew some of this stuff, but it’s good to see all this info gathered together in one place. Very interesting!

    • Carol hoyt on September 1, 2016 at 9:58 am
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    Congrats on the launch of such an interesting book
    It seems my response to most answers is “wow”

    It seems such a rule laden time.

    Can’t wait to read more!

  3. Congratulations on the launch of Courtship and Marriage in Jane Austen’s World!! This book seems to be not only an intriguing read but a helpful reference book as well. Well done, Maria!! 😀

    Warmly,
    Susanne 🙂

    • Carole in Canada on September 1, 2016 at 1:47 pm
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    Congratulations! I so enjoyed reading this book and will definitely be an awesome reference book for readers and authors alike!

    • Sarah B on September 1, 2016 at 4:51 pm
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    Congrats on the new book. I never really understood the point of the marriage articles, now I do. Thank you!

    • Christina Boyd on September 2, 2016 at 12:45 am
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    Just the thing I need for my library and research shelves! Perfect.

    • Dorothee on September 2, 2016 at 2:32 am
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    Maria, thank you for such an interesting book and the many details one was not sure about. It is not only for my own bookshelf but also a very welcome Christmas gift for my best friend.

    • Madenna Urbanski on September 2, 2016 at 7:01 am
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    Thank you for all the Q&A – I love reading about the regency period but the more I learn, the more I am happy to live in the here and now! Congrats on the new book.

    • Janelle Wintersteen on September 2, 2016 at 10:51 am
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    I am very much looking forward to reading this. I will get a copy as soon as possible. I do hope that in writing the book, you use references to all of Austen’s fiction, not just Pride and Prejudice. For instance, in post 2, you speak of how short engagements were and how many brides might be married pregnant. I thought of Sir Thomas Bertram and what he might felt about Maria Ward when he met her. I also thought about John and Isabel Knightly and wondered when their first child was born. If Marianne and Willoughby had became engaged, if Willoughby had let that happen, I doubt that Marianne would have remained a virgin.

    1. I do make references to all of Austen’s works, including Lady Susan throughout the book. Thanks, Janelle!

    • Lynda E. on September 2, 2016 at 11:15 am
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    This topic is so complex and fascinating! Thanks for the post and the opportunity to win a copy! I look forward to reading more.

    • James Nagle on September 2, 2016 at 2:30 pm
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    Wonderful !!! A valued addition to my library.

  4. Sounds like this is well researched and would make a good addition to my research library. Look forward to reading it.

    • Deborah on September 7, 2016 at 6:33 am
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    I enjoyed the information in this book so very much.

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