P&P: Behind the Scenes – Lydia Goes to Meryton by Diana Birchall

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  “We will go as far as Meryton with you,” said Catherine and Lydia. Elizabeth accepted their company, and the three young ladies set off together.

13 November 1811

Auvar lydia and kitty isobel bishop

At Meryton, Lizzy left her younger sisters near the lodgings of one of the officer’s wives, Mrs. Pratt, and crossed the road to walk through the fields leading toward Netherfield, where Jane lay ill.

“Isn’t she a silly to go,” said Lydia, “slopping through the mud just to see Jane with a cold, which she might see any day at home, if any of us had colds.”

“Yes,” Kitty agreed, “and to go to Netherfield, where it is so dull. There are no officers at Netherfield.”

“No; nobody but that horrid prune Miss Bingley. I would not talk to her for the world.”

“Well, but Jane is obliged, Lydia, if she wants to marry Mr. Bingley!”

“I don’t think there would be any fun in that, he has no spirit, or he’d join the militia and wear a red coat,” Lydia declared. “Here is Mrs. Pratt’s door. Now for a good time!”

Mrs. Pratt was a gay young wife of no more than Kitty’s age, and she pulled them inside the house, her eyes sparkling with delight.

“Oh, I am glad you are come! And in good time too. What do you think, girls, Captain Carter is here!”

Lydia and Kitty exchanged significant glances and went inside, where half a dozen red-coated officers were having some talk and a slight libation.

“Ah, there’s my Miss Lydia,” cried Captain Carter, a very handsome young man of two and twenty, “come and sit on my knee, and you shall have a sip of my cider, now.”

Lydia screamed long and loud with delight. “La! Captain Carter! You are mighty absurd. I won’t sit upon your knee unless you promise me you won’t go to London.”

“You know I can’t do that, duty calls,” he protested. “But I will be back soon enough, I’m only carrying some messages for the colonel, and then we’ll see if you’ll sit on my knee – or give me a kiss.”

“Oh I’ll do that any time,” Lydia answered coolly, “there’s not a bit of harm in kissing.”

This raised a howl. “Hark at her!” cried another officer, Ensign Chamberlayne. “That’s a bold lass. A health to Miss Liddy!”

“Now, I prefer a quiet girl,” observed a young, plain-faced Mr. Willis, “like this one. Won’t you sit by me, Miss Kitty?”

“Not on your knee,” she said, trying to sound roguish like Lydia.

“Pish! Tush! Girls,” cried a young lady who was enthroned upon the knees of Colonel Forster himself. “There is no harm in knees, I’ll be bound. And if you persist on sitting on the same ones, you may find yourself with a husband.”

“Or a spanking!” said Colonel Forster hilariously.

“For shame!” she exclaimed, and much more of that nature, and the two began to pummel each other and disarrange their clothing.

“Oh! Look at Harriet, she is so fortunate,” sighed Lydia enviously. “What do you bet she catches the colonel?”

“She would seem to have caught him already,” answered Kitty, her eyes critically on the tumbling pair.

“That is the way to have fun. Look here, I am going to sit with Captain Carter, you sit with Mr. Willis, and we can stuff on plenty of this nice fruit the officers will give us – won’t we?”

Captain Carter pulled Lydia onto his lap. “Yes, you sit here and I will give you a banana!”

The hilarity was immense. Lydia pulled back and looked coyly into his face. “For shame, Captain Carter, you must tell me what a banana is?”

“Oh, a new-discovered fruit, from the Indies. A botanical print was in the Quarterly – did you not read about it?”

“Lydia doesn’t read any thing,” Kitty told him.

Lydia tossed her head. “I have better things to do.”

Captain Carter continued. “The natives eat them. They are long – and yellow.”

The officers roared. “Perhaps they grow them in Chiny,” cried Chamberlayne. “But we have British courage and don’t need any long yellow fruit, do we lads?”

A67GJ9 Banana Tree 18th Century

A67GJ9 Banana Tree 18th Century

The landlady appeared, a faded woman with an anxious expression. She needed the money from the officers and their ladies who were billeted upon her, but she was in continual terror lest their carousing make trouble, and lose her their custom.

“Officers, sirs, won’t you please not get a poor old woman in difficulties with your noise, I beg you?”

“That’s all right, Mother Barnes, we’re just having a little fun. When we tumble the girls you’ll have quiet enough.”

“Oh no – oh no, my house must not lose its reputation,” she began.

“Don’t worry, ma’am, they are only joking, and I will make them keep quiet,” Mrs. Pratt reassured her. “Now, fellows, we must not torment the life out of our good landlady. How would you like to pass the afternoon?

“We might go call upon Miss Lydia’s Uncle, Mr. Phillips,” said Forster, “always good cheer at his house.”

“Yes, and I’ll answer for it they’ll give us a good supper,” Lydia announced.

“But Lydia, we cannot stay, Mama will be wondering about us.”

“Pooh! Kitty. As long as we are with the officers she will not mind. She likes us to be with them. And you know they’ll be glad to see us. But where is Mr. Denny, he should be here to make up the party.”

“Denny’s in London, but will be back and then I’ll take his place with the despatches,” Captain Carter told her.

“But what are they about?”

“Ah my dear young lady, I cannot tell you regiment business, you must know,” he laughed.

Lydia pouted. “I’m sure I don’t care. What I want to see is if there are any new hats at the milliner’s, and we can walk past on our way to Uncle Phillips.”

“Very well then. Give me a kiss to keep up my strength for the walk.”

Lydia complied enthusiastically, and then squealed, “Oh! Captain Carter, I swear you are the best kisser in the regiment.”

“Hear that, men?” he cried. “And have you tried them all, then, Miss?”

“Good Lord no! What a story.” She whispered in his ear, “I am sure I would never kiss a dog-faced little man like that Mr. Willis sitting by my sister. I hope you don’t think as ill of me as that.”

He caught her by the hand and pulled her up from the sofa. “Well, then let’s rescue Kitty, and repair to the Phillipses. They do set an uncommonly good table.”

“Come on, fellows, we march!” Col. Forster declared, and the gay party went frolicking through the streets of Meryton, their hallooing and laughter resounding from one end of the village to the other. Mrs. Phillips had the window open and was leaning out before they were halfway down the street.

“Lydia! Kitty! Do you bring up Col. Forster and all the officers, we have got some very nice ragout and ale, and you might have a little dancing after.”

“We’re coming, aunt!” called back Lydia, and capered on her way, Kitty scuttling after her.

“Oh, Kitty, what better times we have without Jane and Lizzy, don’t we,” she tossed over her shoulder.

“To be sure we do!”

“Why, are they not very handsome, and very good-tempered young ladies? I thought they were,” inquired Col. Foster.

“Oh! No. They hate anything that’s the least bit fun going on. We call them Miss Prim and Miss Priss. Always scolding and lecturing, you would think they were old maids of thirty. You wouldn’t like them at all if you knew them better, Col. Foster.”

“Perhaps not. I do like my girls young and silly,” he said, looking down at pretty Miss Harriet, hanging from his arm.

“Yes, yes, Aunt, don’t worry – I said we’re coming!” shouted Lydia at the top of her voice.

21 comments

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    • Deborah on August 24, 2015 at 5:09 am
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    Oh, my! Lydia has no self-control and all this seems to be encouraged by Mrs. Phillips and her dear mama. Besides which apparently no lessons on proper decorum or what situations to avoid.

    Yes. Col. Foster likes them young and silly. It seems that may have been the case of many of the girls.

    Never would’ve thought this up, but it makes a whole lot of sense. Lydia and Kitty (I’m shaking my head). And calling Lizzie & Jane Miss Prim and Miss Priss. I can so see Lydia feeling that way.

    Thank you. I thoroughly enjoyed this missing scene.

  1. Thanks, Deborah. Jane Austen really captured something about being 15, in Lydia – I can relate to it myself, remembering how noisy and thoughtless I was just at that age!

  2. What a laugh!! You captured the teen spirit so well, Diana. Self-centered, giddy and contemptuous of “adults”. I can imagine how horrified Darcy must have been to encounter Lydia, especially when you compare her to the shy and quiet Georgiana. Really enjoyed this.

    1. Thank you. Monica – I hadn’t thought of that before, what an incredibly contrasting pair of teenagers Lydia and Georgiana are. But wait, Georgiana must have HAD her giddy period too – she nearly ran away with Wickham herself, after all! Perhaps it is her having been caught and chastised by her brother, that makes her so much soberer at 16 than Lydia is. Jane Austen knew what she was doing in these portrayals!

    • Linda Clark on August 24, 2015 at 7:54 am
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    I believe that Lydia’s personality was critical to the overall development of the story. I’m sure Jane Austen didn’t endow her characters with any more personality traits than were to be found in people “back in the day”. Lydia’s silly and thoughtless behavior was encouraged and looked upon with something akin to pride by her mother who was just as silly and thoughtless; yet we know from the reactions of others, the girls, by displaying this type of behavior, were not respected. People really haven’t changed that much in 200 years have they? We have the same situation today. Some teens/adults are “mature” and some are forever “immature”. A nicely written scene, Diana, to show us even more clearly than what we saw at the Netherfield Ball, just how ridiculous Lydia was!

    1. Thank you, Linda. I have thought that Lydia was such a very modern teenager, so recognizable a type to all of us. You are right, it is startling to realize that people haven’t changed that much, in a very long time! In this novel, Jane and Lizzy are in many ways quite different from girls in their early 20s today, with their considered and mature speech, and their hyper sensitive consciences. But Lydia’s manners are not only of that century, but every century.

        • Karen on November 3, 2017 at 10:19 am
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        The Janes and Elizabeths of this era exist, they just arent as visible as the Lydia’s screeching and stumbling drunk out of bars and clubs at closing time. they are working, or studying, or at any rate dating in ways that dont attract so much attention from passers by.

        1. I am sure you are right, Karen. Oddly, I have met any number of people (women) who in their heart of hearts believe they they are “like Elizabeth.” Never met anyone who is willing to admit they are, or were, a Lydia!

    • Julie on August 24, 2015 at 10:08 am
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    Oh, I loved this! Now we see so clearly what happened in Brighton, and how Lydia got into that mess! Perfect!

    1. Julie – thank you, and I’m signed up to write more stories about exactly that! I don’t quite know yet, but it will be fun finding out what Lydia gets up to!

  3. Thoughtless Lydia…obviously she doesn’t read a thing…or think. And the sexual banter went right above her head (thankfully) although in a year she’ll probably be joining in. And Kitty definitely follows her lead…just as thoughtlessly.

    And to see Colonel Forster, carousing with his men and with his soon-to-be-wife Harriet, was something else and speaks to the ill-given trust that Mr. Bennet bestows upon him when Lydia accompanies the Forsters to Brighton.

    Excellent job in capturing the “teen spirit” of daring and flirtation–times have not changed all that much, have they?

    Thank you for writing for us!

    Warmly,
    Susanne 🙂

  4. I’m glad you enjoyed Lydia and her antics, Susanne, and what a modern – or timeless – teenager she is! It’s funny how Jane Austen can create a detail, like Forster’s giddy wife, that’s so important to the plot and tells you so much. That’s why it’s such fun to write variations, she suggests so much you can just run with it. More coming up!

    • Jane Odiwe on August 25, 2015 at 9:27 am
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    Brilliant and hilarious-you made me laugh out loud! My favourite-the reference to Miss Prim and Miss Priss- they are so very naughty, but I can’t help but love them!

  5. Thank you, Jane! From the brilliant author of “Lydia’s Story,” that means everything, and I’m so pleased!

    • junewilliams7 on August 29, 2015 at 2:59 pm
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    remembering how noisy and thoughtless I was just at that age!

    You?? Well, if you have matured from your former ‘Lydia’ days, then perhaps there is hope for Lydia. Colonel Forster is almost as silly as young Harriet – can you imagine what his marriage will be like in 20 or so years? No wonder he didn’t do a good job of chaperoning Lydia in Brighton. The Philipses… I wonder about them both, providing the fun and frolic, and then taking none of the responsibility when Lydia elopes.

    Your posts always make me feel as if I am right there watching, and you make me think more of the characters’ motivations. Well done, Diana!

    • Sheila L. M. on August 30, 2015 at 4:38 pm
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    Young ladies should not know what the sexual innuendos are all about – bananas – REALLY! But it also reveals how little respect they have for Harriet, Lydia and Kitty. I doubt that they would speak or behave in such a manner in the presence of true ladies. And sitting on their laps – we all know where that intimacy can lead with sex-starved officers/young men. Makes me just shake my head. Yes, we continue to see this type of behavior today but we also have many more out-of-wedlock pregnancies…not that they had none. Sadly.

    Thank you for a realistic look at just how untamed Lydia and her sister are!

    1. Thanks for commenting, Sheila. I know they were a little over-the-top with the bananas and lap-sitting – but if ever a girl fit that description, it is Lydia Bennet! Remember the whole neighborhood expected to hear of her in a distant farmhouse! 🙂

  6. Exactly so! Lydia’s innocent behavior is Improper, and if she continues in this direction, it will become Immoral. Of course, the true immorality is the savagery with which society will treat her and her family then (except for the remote chance of a Darcy riding to the rescue). She doesn’t believe it–there’s “not a bit of harm” in it Of course Jane and Elizabeth know better, and try to point out the slippery slope. Lydia maintains her innocence by X-ing them out, turning them into the cardboard figures of Miss Prim and Miss Priss. If Lydia is immoral, it is in her utter disregard for anyone who voices an opinion that would inconvenience her.

  7. Gracia Fay, thanks for making that important point: the true immorality is the savagery society would have shown her and her family. So true. Look at the evidences in how Mr. Collins writes of her, and Lady Catherine’s contemptuous rudeness. There would have been much, much more, had Darcy not ridden to the rescue.

    • Carol on March 2, 2016 at 11:41 am
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    OMG! Somehow Lydia was made for getting herself in trouble. Her morals were a bit loose for the Recency Period. I know Mrs. Bennet didn’t have much going on upstairs in her silly head, but even she knew what was expected of a daughter from a gentleman’s family. From the way she let her behave, she should have placed Lydia in the Dowager’s house and rented her out to gain extra monies. If Darcy hadn’t step in to help the mess she was in, she probably would be doing that kind of work anyway. Even the oldest three girls were maidens until they married, Kitty was straddling the fence, not as bad as Lydia, but not as proper as Jane, Elizabeth, and Mary. Lydia was already lost! I’m not sure her flirtation was innocent, she was wanting love and marriage so she was out to get someone. She was ripe for Wickham: young,stupid, and a mother that allowed her stupidity with a father that didn’t care enough to step in.

    1. Thanks for your comment, Carol. Yes, Lydia was ripe for trouble – it was almost inevitable, and she and Wickham got together like a couple of sick magnets! What a scenario, poor girl.

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