Anniversary Celebration: Revisiting the Charlotte and Mr. Collins — 42 Comments

  1. Perhaps Charlotte should have bopped Collins in the noggon with that copy of Fordyce. That would have made her anniversary happier….

    • Part of her felicity is that they spend so little of the day together. What would she do if he was charged with never leaving her side. I couldn’t resist the temptation!

      Thanks, Kathy!

  2. Poor Charlotte!! I was thinking the same as Kathy above: Charlotte should have bopped him atop the head with Fordyce! Such a romantic anniversary gift, after all…. 😉

    Clueless, clueless, clueless man…..

    Thanks for the rueful laugh!! Poor Charlotte!!

    Susanne 🙂

  3. Collins is such a twit. Poor Charlotte. She should have used Fordyce book to smack him in the head. As pregnant as she was and tired, hitting him with the book might have knocked some sense into his thick skull so that he wouldn’t have knocked on her door. I realize why women back then had to marry, but this day in age I cannot believe someone would marry such a fool.

    • She felt a home and being out of her family’s way was more important, I suppose. He would drive me bonkers, which is part of why I wanted to write it this way.

      Thanks, Carol!

  4. Poor Charlotte-I’ve often wondered if she regretted her haste in marrying Mr Collins! I loved the idea of him following her round all day-thank you, Leslie, for an amusing post.

    • I’ve often wondered the same thing, and I admit that it got the muse going with this one. I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Thanks, Jane!

  5. I loved this. I can just picture Collins following poor Charlotte around. “Oh no! No! No! No!”, had me laughing out loud. I felt like I was a fly on the wall. I agree with everyone else that she should’ve lobbed him on the head with Fordyce’s Sermons; how romantic (dripping with sarcasm). At least it’s another 365 days before her next anniversary. I agree with Jane…I wonder if she ended up regretting her marriage. Thanks for a humorous read at Charlotte’s expense.

    • I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I had a wonderful time picturing him following her and grovelling. Maybe for their second anniversary she can knock him upside the head with the book.

      Thanks, Deborah!

  6. *shudders* Poor Charlotte! At least their anniversary comes only once a year! Unless……Lady Catherine decides that he should be attentive during holidays as well! Oh, the horror!!!

    • Nah! I see Lady C as only pushing that on their anniversary. She would think it her place to advise him on how to be a good husband. After all, she is celebrated for her frankness!

      Thanks, Wendy!

  7. Leslie, that was so funny! Poor, poor Charlotte. You night know that Lady Cat would get her way in the end. I don’t know how she can endure him when he is around, let alone the bedroom. Great fun! Thanks, Jen

    • I’m so glad it gave you a laugh, Jen! Since Charlotte probably gets by due to minimal contact with her husband, I would imagine this was the anniversary from her nightmares.


  8. There is a phrase from the southern states of the US that covers a multitude of sins – it can be sincere, loving, mocking, sarcastic or what you will. I don’t think I have ever heard anyone else use it but it is ” well, bless your/his/her heart”.

    Well, bless Mr. Collins’ heart for being so solicitous of Charlotte

    • I know that phrase well! In the U.K., they say “Bless her” or “Bless him” quite often. Mr Collins did try pretty hard. Of course, it’s hard to ignore Lady C!

      Thanks, Hollis!

  9. What fun, in a gruesomely painful sort of way, that is!
    I think Charlotte will send him back to his own room, though. She has had a year to learn how to master him, and her advanced pregnancy should afford her some protection!

    • Oh, I agree about sending him back to his room, however, that mid-afternoon nap might be his excuse to stay.

      Thanks, Shannon!

  10. Well done, Ms. Diamond! I knew this would be an “interesting” anniversary, and I do believe you’ve gotten it just right! 🙂 I too agree with the above recommendations for use of Fordyce’s and her late pregnancy… Also, I know Shannon Winslow has come up with a good solution… as the result of his love of talking and eating! But guess it was not to be this day.

    Thank you all for these most delightful posts! So, who is next??

  11. Hahahahaha! I have to admit, that I’ve always thought this was exactly what their marriage would be like! Poor Charlotte, but she DID make her bed… now she must lie in it. Hopefully, she’ll be too tired to entertain him long, and after she feigns sleep, he will tiptoe away…

  12. Oh boy, the tedium of being married to Mr. Collins. I think you captured it perfectly! Leave it to Lady C to provide the most unhelpful advice, that would be the most irritating (“Spend time with your wife on your anniversary!”). Lady C must have had other important engagements that day! Luckily Charlotte will soon be occupied with raising their offspring, and have even less time to spend with her tiresome husband. I wonder whether she lives a little vicariously through Lizzy’s letters?

  13. Leslie, I’m taking the quote you used: “You and I have but one mind and one way of thinking” and using it to refer to how many of us had the same thought about what Charlotte *ought* to have done with Fordyce’s Sermons. It was the first thing that came to my mind as I read your lovely, funny piece and I couldn’t believe it then as I read one comment after another suggesting the very same!

    I’m also seeing him doing the “Mr. Collins Wave” as per P&P 1995, whenever he caught her eye across a room!

    One thought though. Would Lady C. approve of the extravagance of having TWO copies of the same book in their household?

    • I hadn’t expected everyone to want to hit him over the head. OH! And that wave! That is one of the images in my mind when I think of him. Ewwww! LOL! Thanks, Anji!

  14. LOL That was so funny, of course in kind of a perverse sort of way for poor Charlotte!! At times like those, do you think she might have to keep repeating to herself over and over and over again why she took this path to help her family? And I agree that she may have to live vicariously through Lizzy’s letters, or perhaps imagine an escape to Pemberly asap!

    • I thought of Lizzy’s letters as being rather frowned upon since her marriage to Darcy, so she hides them and her responses from her husband. He’s usually doing his own thing, which makes it rather easy. Thanks, Evelyn!

  15. Charlotte knew what she was getting into marrying Collins. What was she thinking? Lol. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cringe. Eewww!

    • Well, he makes me cringe, but I think her entire coping strategy revolves around avoiding time spent with him. That day would have been something out of one of her nightmares! Thanks, BeckyC!

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