A Work Still in Progress: Pride, Prejudice and the Perfect Bet

PerfectBet - Brant - FINAL - smallI’ve never been known for being a super-fast writer (sadly!), but I had been making steady progress on Pride, Prejudice and the Perfect Bet — the sequel to my White Soup Press release Pride, Prejudice and the Perfect Match — until a power outage blew out my computer’s hard drive a few weeks ago and brought all writing, editing and much of my social media fun to a dramatic, although thankfully temporary, halt!

I had not realized the extent to which I relied upon my desktop daily…or how unreliable even a high-quality surge protector can be in the face a strong electrical current. This was, in my world, the kind of techno disaster that fellow writers recount to one another over multiple bottles of wine and platters of chocolate-covered delights. (Picture me sitting around with my friends, waving a chocolate-cashew cluster in the air and saying, “And THEN, no matter which button I pressed, it wouldn’t turn on! Even the tech guys didn’t know what to do…”) Authors with more of a post-apocalyptic bent to their writing would’ve gotten at least a few high-concept story ideas from such a calamity. Me? Well, I just bought more chocolate, additional flash drives, an external hard drive, and a brand new computer, which turns on when I press the right button. So far, so good. 🙂

On the happy news front, I had my various manuscripts stored in multiple locations (clouds, flash drives, emails), so I didn’t lose the original copies of any of my published books or my stories in progress. I did, however, lose quite a few less important documents and some pictures that I would have liked to have kept. And so, my public service announcement for the month is this: Please back up your material, friends!! Save copies of your favorite things in more than one location! Better safe than sorry…

Now on to the writing fun! Back during our Grand Opening Week Celebration for Austen Variations, I shared with you all an early scene from the new book in Jane’s point of view. (It’s HERE, for anyone who hasn’t read it and who would like to take a peek.) And this is the basic story concept for Perfect Bet:

As maid of honor and best man to the happy couple in Pride, Prejudice and the Perfect Match, Jane Henderson and Bingley McNamara have been thrown together far too often for either of their liking. Jane is an interning school psychologist and a woman who wears an angelic mask in public, but she’s not as sweet tempered as she’d like everyone to believe. Turns out, she may have just crossed paths with the one person who’ll unnerve her enough to get her to reveal her true self. As for Bingley, he’s a wealthy, flirtatious and compulsively social financial guru, who likes to wager on stocks (and, let’s face it, on just about anything that strikes his fancy). But this dedicated ladies’ man may have finally met the woman who’ll challenge his bachelor ways!

Since many of you might remember my modern-day Bingley from Perfect Match — as the first cousin of Dr. Will Darcy — I thought I’d share a different scene but from his viewpoint this time. I hope you’ll like it!

From Chapter One of Pride, Prejudice and the Perfect Bet:

Bingley McNamara stood near the altar of St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church, right next to his cousin, Dr. William Darcy—the lucky groom on this lovely September Saturday. The two men watched as the maid of honor glided gracefully down the aisle, every step in time with the distinctive thrum of the pipe-organ music overhead.

Jane Henderson, best friend of the bride, wore a silky, cocktail-length gown with a scoop neckline and some fun ruffly bits around the hem. Given the color her dress and her auburn hair, she was a vision in dark red. Appropriate, Bingley thought, since, when she spotted him, she shot him a look that was positively murderous.

Damn. This was gonna be a helluva long ceremony.

He adjusted his equally red bowtie, took a deep breath and nudged Will. “You ready, Cuz?”

Will nodded. “Absolutely. You got the rings?”

Bingley patted the jacket pocket of his tux. “Sure do. Nothing to hold you back now. I mean, if you still wanna go through with it and everything. Which you do, right?”

His cousin stared at him as if he were an escapee from a traveling circus act, planning to cartwheel down the center aisle of the church. “What?”

“All I’m saying is that, you know, there’s no pressure one way or another,” Bingley whispered. “You’ve got options available. If you want them. But I’m pretty sure you don’t. I know you love Beth and that she loves you and that you both love Charlie and that everyone in the family loves each other…and this whole wedding idea is just…just a really great thing. To do. Today. Right this very second.”

Bingley was well aware he was babbling but, man, his favorite cousin—his closest friend in all the world—was getting married in about three minutes. And though the bride was a genuinely wonderful woman and the soulmate his workaholic cousin desperately needed, Bingley knew he’d no longer be the go-to person in Will’s life after today.

Aw, who was he kidding? He’d lost his elevated position months ago—the minute Will had laid eyes on Beth Ann Bennet.

Will just shook his head and ignored the jabbering. Bingley sighed. Clearly, his cousin was only focused on his soon-to-be wife and was distracted by her beauty as she prepared to follow Jane down the aisle.

beautiful wedding ringsThe organ music changed to the stately “Wedding March” by Mendelssohn, and the entire three-hundred-member congregation stood to watch as Beth serenely made her way toward Will, accompanied by her father.

Bingley, of course, was aware of Jane’s periodic glances in his direction—which could more accurately be described as piercing glares—but even she was finally paying more attention to her best friend than to him.

Still, he couldn’t help but sneak a few more looks at the fiery maid of honor, remembering the way they’d first met four months ago, around the time Beth and Will became an official couple. So much polite chitchat followed. He’d been on his best behavior (Will’s orders) and, yet, couldn’t deny his immediate attraction to Beth’s dearest friend.

But Jane had seemed so…nice, for want of a better word. Too sweet for him to want to tamper with or tease too much, although Beth hinted there was more to Jane than her pleasant veneer might suggest.

He hadn’t believed that at first but, oh, he believed it now, as she swiveled to face her friend, sending another death stare in his direction, then a much kinder, warmer look to his cousin and, finally, winking at Beth’s seven-year-old son, Charlie, who was in the first pew.

Charlie beamed a grin at her that infused his young face with delight, waved at Will and at him, too, and then squirmed to the edge of the pew so he could steal a few glances at his mom before she reached the altar.

“You’re gonna be really happy, Cuz,” he whispered to Will, who was smiling at Beth as if he’d just won the lottery and it was being hand delivered to him in a pretty package of white tulle.

“Thanks, Bingley,” his cousin murmured. “I owe you, you know. None of this would’ve happened without you.”

Bingley swallowed away a sappy emotion he didn’t want to succumb to in public and clenched his jaw to keep from saying anything either overly sentimental or just plain stupid. Much as the whole commitment thing gave him hives, Bingley couldn’t have been happier for Will. The guy deserved every ounce of wedded bliss.

“Anything for you,” he finally managed, meaning it, but unable to stop the wave of irritation that hit him in the gut when he caught Jane rolling her eyes at him from the periphery.

No, she wasn’t nearly as nice as she appeared, although he’d thought she was pretty awesome during the engagement party a couple of months back. Jane had downed, perhaps, a few too many glasses of celebratory champagne, and the two of them had ended up in the coat room, making out like teenagers. He quickly learned three other very interesting facts about her:

She wore some really racy undergarments beneath her simple, classically cut clothes.

She could do several wickedly imaginative things with her tongue. Both excellent discoveries, in his opinion.

But her emotions jumped up and down like an insanely volatile stock during a wild trading day.

Bingley exhaled and tried to stop his mind from playing the X-Ray Vision game every time he caught a glimpse of Jane standing demurely by the altar. Although, how could he keep himself from wondering if she had that leopard-spotted bra on underneath her red dress, like the one she’d been wearing in July, hmm? Or, why she had all but sprinted away from him when he saw her again a few days later, and why she’d studiously avoided him at the few other events they’d both had to attend since then… They’d barely made it past second base at the engagement party. Was she embarrassed? Had he unknowingly done something wrong?

C’mon, man, get a grip!

He knew from years of experience that he was better off not caring about what women thought of him. That keeping his emotions out of any relationship was the key.

Seeing Will with Beth together had lulled him—temporarily—into believing that whole “happily ever after” thing might happen for him, too. Their connection through that online dating site had encouraged him—briefly—that a “Love Match” wasn’t impossible. So he’d entertained the idea of dating more seriously when he met Jane.

Big mistake.

He knew what he was: a lifetime bachelor. And there wasn’t a woman in the world who could snag his heart long term. He’d be willing to bet on it.

Still, he had a few assets.

He was young, reasonably good looking, wealthy…and he sure as hell didn’t need a pseudo-sweet, temperamental, psychologist chick blowing him off, especially after he’d let his guard down long enough to get close to her one hot summer night. Wouldn’t happen again.

Besides, this was a wedding. There were plenty of smart, beautiful babes to be found—it’d be like cherry picking blue chips in a bull market—and he was the guy to find them. The sooner the better.

He sent the reverend an impatient look as the bride finally reached the altar and Jane took her sweet ole time fixing the train of Beth’s wedding gown.

“So,” he whispered to Reverend Elton, “what do you say we get this ceremony started so we can move on to the reception, eh?”

The reverend glanced at him with surprise, his cousin with a fresh round of bafflement.

Bingley just shrugged and donned his most charming grin. “I just can’t wait to start celebrating the joy of love.”

***
Marilyn Brant--small grayI’d love to hear your thoughts on this scene! I always ask my editors and critique partners these questions: Was there anything confusing in this segment? Any sections that dragged? Any questions that arose that you feel ought to be addressed?

This is still a work in progress, so please feel free to share any first impressions — no pun intended!! — I appreciate them all. 😉

19 comments

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    • Carol Hoyt on May 12, 2014 at 12:32 am
    • Reply

    Marilyn, it read smoothly. I feel that the reader would have a good idea of the characters and situation even if they have not read the p&p p snd perfect match.

    Great reDing do dear! Can’t wait to read the finished product!!

  1. Oh, Carol, thank you!
    I’m so glad you liked it and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your having taken the time to read it through!!
    XOX 🙂

    • Ceri on May 12, 2014 at 2:29 am
    • Reply

    I’m so sorry to hear about your computer! I had a computer failure a few years ago and I thought I’d lost nearly all of the baby photos of my children. I was so panicked, but luckily the fault was another component and my hard drive was intact and could be moved to another computer so I lost nothing. Lesson learned, like you say.

    I loved the excerpt, extremely intriguing. Why did she avoid him after their closet experience? Hmmmm. I am so glad you are writing a follow up to PP&TPM, as Bingleu was such a fun character, and I just loved Jane, she was the most wonderful friend to Beth Ann.

    1. Ceri,
      I’m so glad you didn’t lose those photos of your children!! It’s frightening when things like that happen, though, isn’t it? The technology works so well for us…until it doesn’t. Glad you were able to recover them all!!

      And thank you for your kind words about the excerpt *and* about Perfect Match!! I’m thrilled you enjoyed the writing 🙂 .

  2. Marilyn, I really enjoyed it! I didn’t find any sections that were either confusing or dragging! All I want is the next scene, please!

    Like Ceri I wonder of course about why Jane is avoiding him (no doubt some mischievous misunderstanding you as author have concocted to torment the readers – and Bingley!) but this is a great excerpt to whet the appetite for the story!

    Oh, and I loved the Reverend Elton touch at the end! 😉

    1. LOL, about “Reverend Elton,” Sandra! Our beloved Jane Austen came up with so many brilliant names for characters, I can’t stop myself from using some of them 😉 .

      And I’m so glad you liked the excerpt and that it kept you guessing about Jane’s reasons for being ticked off at Bingley. In *her* point of view, at least, she feels her anger is justified!!

  3. I’m sorry to hear about your computer troubles. Luckily you did manage to backup the most important files. I had come across this type of problems several times but usually it damage the motherboard, not as serious where it affects hard drive. Whenever I hear very loud thunder, I always stop using my desktop in case of lightning strike and switch on my iPad. I couldn’t risk it again.

    The excerpt is excellent, Marilyn. I get the picture straightaway and can’t wait until the whole book is written and published. If my memory is right, I think Jane avoided Bingley because she heard him betting to his friends that he can win over her or something like that.

    1. Lúthien, your memory is excellent and, YES, you’re absolutely right that there was a bet involved that sparked Jane’s anger at him! Unless I end up revising some element that switches things around, this scene above with Bingley will be the first one in the book, followed by the one I shared a few months ago in Jane’s viewpoint. The explanation of the bet will come after that 😉 . Thanks for reading this!!

      And you’re smart to turn off your desktop during lightning and thunder!! I do that as well. I wish we would’ve had some sort of weather warning before our outage, but it wasn’t caused by storms. (Best we can figure is that something damaged one of the transformers, and that’s why we lost power…) But all’s well that ends well, right?!

    • Deborah on May 12, 2014 at 5:12 am
    • Reply

    Sorry to hear about your computer, although I’m glad your important files were backed up. Sorry about the personal info you list though. My hubby is a techno geek do has all info including home videos & pics backed up multiple times. Nothing short of WW lll or an astetoid collidion should cause all info to be erased. 🙂

    As I agree with everyone else, I’ll say the above excerpt ran smoothly. It makes me want to continue reading…see what happens next. Also, womdeting why Jane is so annoyed & angry at Bingley.

    Thank you for sharing your WIP. I enjoyed it & am looking forward to the finished book as well as any other excerpts you may want to share with us.

    1. Deborah, LOLOL!!! I’m hoping there will be no World Wars or asteroids in our near future, but I’m glad your husband has you prepared for the worst! 🙂 I generally like surprises, but not of the techno kind!

      And many thanks for taking the time to read the excerpt and sharing your thoughts on the excerpt! I’m delighted you enjoyed it and am still hoping I’ll be able to release the finished novel this summer as planned!!

  4. Well I’m glad you were able to recover almost everything. It does stink when technology gives up the ghost and you can’t get your precious memories and documents back.

    The excerpt is great and I can’t wait to read more whenever it becomes available!

    1. Chanpreet,
      Thank you so much!
      I really appreciate your sweet words and I have my fingers crossed that Perfect Bet will be ready for release in a few months ;).
      And yes to everything you said about technology!! I’m being much more careful these days… *hugs*

    • Sheila L. M. on May 12, 2014 at 12:11 pm
    • Reply

    Having read The Perfect Match I am eager to read this second story. So he got to second base and then he made a bet about her being an easy conquest – Boy! not a smart guy, at all. What ever happened to “don’t kiss and tell” being the gentlemanly thing to do? So who did you use as your Bingley and Jane models for the cover?

    Loved the excerpt! Had several viruses hit my computer and when I got it back from tech had to do a search for all my documents and photos, one-by-one. Got them all back but now have a backup device with all saved on it.

    Thanks for this tease!

    1. Sheila,
      LOL!! “Don’t kiss and tell” is a rule *everyone* should follow, right?!
      As for the cover, I don’t know who the models are — I just know that when I saw their picture together, I felt as though I’d *found* my Bingley and Jane ;).
      I’m thrilled you loved the excerpt — thank you!! And I’m glad you were able to recover your files and pictures, too… Computer viruses are scary things!

  5. Glad your computer is “fixed.” How frustrating that must have been. Ugh!
    Thanks so much for the excerpt! Can’t wait to read the rest of the story! =)

    1. Thanks so much for the good wishes, Jakki!!! Yeah… the computer crash wasn’t my happiest day, LOL, but it all turned out all right.

      I’m so glad you enjoyed the excerpt, and I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on the whole story!!
      xoxo 🙂

    • Carole in Canada on May 12, 2014 at 7:04 pm
    • Reply

    Smiled when I saw ‘Reverend Elton’! Love the excerpt and no confusing bits. I’m really curious now about Jane and Bingley in the closet???? A naughty side to our angelic Jane?

    Awwww computers…remember when they said they would make life easier and paperless? Hasn’t happened yet just different methods of ‘backing things up’! I’m still a fan of paper but do have all our pictures backed up on discs and external hard drives! Have to one day scan all my photo albums too…just in case.

    1. Carole,
      Ha!! Glad you liked “Reverend Elton” and the excerpt as a whole — thank you so much for reading it!! And yes…there is a bit of a naughty side to our sweet Jane 😀 ! It was quite fun to write this modernized version!
      As for computers and the need to back up everything, boy, do I ever hear you on that! I still print out as much as possible of the manuscripts as I’m working on them — even though I know there’s a lot of editing and writing yet to do. I figure worst case scenario, I would have the option to just retype the pages rather than actually having to rewrite them all!

    • Amanda Bull Chafin on August 24, 2014 at 12:02 pm
    • Reply

    I’m sorry to hear about your computer. Having recently suffered a similar catastrophe, I feel for you!

    That said, I enjoyed this excerpt quite a bit. A few parts made me smile. I liked the nod to “Rev. Elton.” I also liked the description of Darcy as “smiling at Beth as if he’d just won the lottery and it was being hand delivered to him in a pretty package of white tulle.” Mr. Bingley’s rambling was adorable. Honestly, I enjoyed getting into the head of Mr. Bingley.

    I was left curious and wanting more, which is a good sign. I definitely wanted to know what on earth had possessed sweet Jane not only to make out with Bingley in a coat closet, but also to cast him so many murderous glances as to actually make him nervous! Goodness, he must have really screwed up to have Jane so livid!

  1. […] read the two other scenes I’ve posted from the story and would like to, they’re here: Scene One and Scene Two.) And please don’t miss the special 99-cent boxed set sale announcement at the […]

  2. […] from the story here on Austen Variations. In chronological order within the book, they are here: Scene One, Scene Two, and Scene Three. Below, however, is a new scene (one that takes place between Jane and […]

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